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Riverdale

Riverdale – Brave New World (2×22)

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And that’s a wrap on season 2 of Riverdale.

The good news is Jughead didn’t die.

The bad news is Riverdale is a complete mess run by the nefarious Hiram Lodge. And he’s unstoppable; immune to any and all feeble attempts to thwart his mastermind of a plan to take over the town.

In fact, his transition is almost complete as he has all of his pawns in place. Those pawns have revealed themselves to be Penelope Blossom and what may be Cheryl’s real father or his twin brother, Penny Peabody, the new (useless) Sheriff, and the Ghoulies.

Man, I hate this group already.

As Jughead put it, the night where all of Riverdale turned on each other was Hiram’s orchestrated mousetrap and he walked right into it when he “surrendered” himself to the Serpents.

While he was unconscious, the Serpents went to battle with the Ghoulies anyway to avenge him but they were outnumbered.

According to FP, many of them joined the Ghoulies, others left town, but basically, the Serpents were “no more.”

Given how dedicated Jug was to the gang, he simply couldn’t accept that. Heck, this is exactly why FP decided to step down and let Jug rule.

And when he found out many of them were living at the Whyte Worm because they had nowhere else to go after losing the trailer parks in the battle, he decided to help them.

But a good leader cannot do it alone and so Jughead got assistance from Archie, the Bulldogs, Cheryl and the most unlikely ally, Veronica. They always say, no bond is stronger than two people who hate the same person.

Veronica did the Serpents a solid and figured out exactly what her father’s plan was — purchasing the remaining property, the Whyte Worm, would make him the owner of the whole Southside.

So, naturally, Veronica purchased the establishment right from under Hiram’s nose. However, when she found out that he fired FP from Pop’s, she decided to make an even change — the Whyte Worm for Pop’s, the last place in town that belonged to her and her friends.

Once the exchange was complete, Veronica revealed her plans to re-open a speakeasy in the basement of Pop’s and offered the manager job to FP. See, when she wants to be, V can do so much good for the right side and so much damage to the opposing team.

And since Archie and Cheryl, the newest Serpent, opened their doors to the Serpents, they didn’t even need the Southside.

It seems that Hiram’s tyrannical ways united unlikely enemies and made the town much stronger.

And when you have an army that’s fighting the same enemy, it’s easier to defeat them.

However, it seems Hiram still has a few aces up his sleeve and he’s not pleased with the defiance he’s getting from Veronica and Archie.

I get that Archie was trying to assert himself and prove to Hiram that he’s no longer his little bitch, but man, why would you go and poke the devil?

He was basically asking for what happened as he was being sworn in as President of the student council!

The worst part is that there’s no way to prove that Archie didn’t kill that guy in the forest.

We know Andre was responsible but he’s conveniently dead so he can’t really defend Archie.

And since the Sheriff, again useless, is on Hiram’s payroll, he won’t be any of assistance.

Will the town of Riverdale be able to save Archie? Is Archie the glue that Hiram said holds Veronica, Jughead and Betty together? It’s comical that he thinks he can dissolve that friendship. They’ve had their moments and turned on each other but just like the town, it’s made them stronger than ever.

We can’t forget that we’re still dealing with the mystery of the Black Hood.

I mean, the Sheriff assures us that they’ve found the second masked killer — Tallboy.

And Jughead believes it because Tallboy has been known for doing Hiram’s dirty work. However, the way he told Archie that “it was Tallboy, no question about it,” made it seem a little suspect.

Also, they just shot and killed him so again, Tallboy has no defense and Hiram gets off scot-free.

Betty may have washed her hands of the family darkness for good, but I doubt this is the last we’ve seen of Hal.

He insisted that she was the only one who shared his darkness but seeing Polly’s face when she tried to convince her mother to “talk to someone” from the farm made me believe otherwise.

What is that girl really up to? Why aren’t we more invested in her life? For all we know, she could be working with Hal which is why he left her out of it completely.

If this was such a family “issue,” why wasn’t she looped in?

I love that Jughead will be leading the Serpents, but I hope that doesn’t mean FP won’t be in the picture at all. Jughead may be ride-or-die for the gang but he also needs guidance from the man that’s been doing it the longest.

Also, does anyone find it odd that Betty is never there for his major events? Maybe when she officially joins the Serpents and becomes his Queen, it’ll change.

Other Thoughts

  • Hermione won the mayoral race which is fine considering she’ll be on Team Fred, Archie and Veronica. Given that Hiram has left her out of his shady town folk meetings, it’s likely he senses that she’s no longer his blind follower.
  • Was the election rigged? If all of the Southside came out to the polls, how did he lose?
  • Loved seeing all of Riverdale High unit and support the Serpents by rocking their attire.
  • How long do you think Veronica will last without her legacy, her credit cards, her money? This finally means Hiram doesn’t have a hold over her anymore.
  • Jughead and Betty babysitting was probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
  • Are Reggie and Josie dating?

Thoughts on the finale? What do you think will happen?

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Bizarrodale (3×12)

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Riverdale Bizarrodale

There is absolutely no better word to describe Riverdale than bizarrodale.

In all honesty, I’m pretty confused as to the purpose of this whole Gargoyle King and/or Gryphons and Gargoyles storyline.

Initially, the storyline seemed promising, but much like the Black Hood, the reveals of the Gargoyle King — there have been two thus far — have been mediocre.

Tall Boy was a fake-out, but the second Gargoyle King ended up being Mason, Moose’s in-the-closet father who had a crush on Tommy?

Seriously. We’ve only seen Mason like two times this whole season.

This means there are iterations of the Gargoyle King to take care of personal business, but the main GK is still to be discovered. Like FP said, it’s like playing whack-a-mole until we finally encounter the real one.

Truthfully, I don’t even care who the real Gargoyle King is because does it even matter?

We’re supposed to believe that Mason wanted to date Tommy, went to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy for gay conversion therapy, thought the GK made him straight again only to express jealousy upon finding out that his son, a gay man, was dating Tommy’s gay son?

It’s a mouthful, I know.

Two things immediately stick out to me that make me question the validity of this story. For starters, when did the Sisters start having male students? Second off, if Mason met the Gargoyle King, it stands to reason that Fizzle Rocks were definitely around back then.

And, on top of that, we’re supposed to believe Mason was crafty enough to reunite the Midnight Club for another rendezvous?

I’m not buying it. I think this storyline was slapped together and the last minute and it’s falling apart in fact-checking.

After all that Kevin has been through, can’t he just find a significant other that can openly be with him without dying or almost being killed by his own dad?

Though, I will admit the scene where all the parents realized the Ascension Night was just a facade to target their children was really brilliant.

A lot of people are having sex in Riverdale, you guys. These teen hormones are outrageous. I wonder what’s in the water in Riverdale aside from Fizzle Rocks runoff.

Cheryl had a few questionable moments this week as she purposefully outed Moose thinking she was doing the right thing.

I’m really happy that the writers immediately addressed that Cheryl hijacking his coming out was not okay.

It’s a deeply personal decision and definitely not one someone should be pressured into.

Riverdale also did a good job at addressing the dangers of being outed to parents that aren’t fully supportive.

Cheryl of all people should know what it’s like dealing with a parent who doesn’t support her sexuality. It was a bit strange after Penelope tried to sabotage her entrance interview into college that Cheryl would still think outing someone would be a good idea.

Or that Toni would suggest that Cheryl knows nothing about dealing with unsupportive family members.

By the end of the episode, Cheryl had successfully blackmailed her mother, won her way back into the college of her choice, and even scored Toni an interview.

Yes, queens.

And as a make good, she even formed a new gang for Toni called the Pretty Poison.

I don’t know if Riverdale really needs any more gangs, but it can’t hurt to have a girl gang around, can it?

Also, how hilarious is it that Penelope believes Cheryl is an abomination but doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with owning a brothel?

There was a significant focus on secondary characters which was appreciated since audiences are always complaining that Kevin and Josie don’t get nearly enough screentime.

Josie’s music aspirations were at the forefront as she prepared for an audition at Julliard.

Archie found Josie crying about how she wouldn’t be able to get to the audition because Sweet Pea wouldn’t take her since they officially broke up.

I knew they hooked up at that one summer party, but who knew they were actually together?

Or that Sweet Pea was so sensitive and couldn’t do this whole back and forth thing with Josie? The moment seemed so ill-fitting and was probably only included to pair Josie with Archie with irritates me. Sweet Pea is above being a plot device.

Archie, owing Josie a favor after she helped sober him up and get him on the right track, offered to give her a ride.

Sadly, Josie’s pipes didn’t make the cut, but they were good enough to jam out with Archie.

That eventually led to a kiss which we all knew was coming and bam — Riverdale’s newest couple is here.

Or is it? Ashley Murray (who plays Josie) just signed onto The CW’s new Riverdale spin-off, Katy Keene. Does that mean her romance with Archie is short-lived?

I’ve expressed my concerns about Archie corrupting sweet little Josie, but now I’m more terrified of how Veronica will react.

Sure, she’s doing her thing with Reggie, but will she be okay with her ex and her friend hooking up?

In reality, I think Ronnie has bigger fish to fry than who Archie’s sleeping with as she unintentionally got involved in her family business.

After burning the Fizzle Rocks factory, Hermione forced Ronnie and Reggie to pay back all the money.

For someone who is loaded, Veronica had a really difficult time coming up with the cash. I don’t know if it’s because she’s with Reggie, but recently, her plans just haven’t made all that much sense.

How did they not consider that the money taken from a bank would be doused in exploding ink? Or that the security guard would have a gun? Amateurs.

Though their Bonnie & Clyde dynamic is a welcome change from her Romeo & Juliet relationship with Archie caused by her father.

And the dangerous kingpin? None other than Mama Jughead.

Yep, it seems Gladys is back in town and she just singlehandedly stole the game from everyone.

The Lodges are indebted to her, Veronica and Reggie are working for her, FP is Sheriff and Jughead has control of the Serpents.

And the most dangerous aspect is that FP and Jughead don’t expect a thing.

I am honestly so disappointed that Jelly Bean is playing her father and brother like that.

I also cannot wait until Gladys and Alice finally come face-to-face.

And speaking of Alice, will we ever find out what’s going on with The Farm? The storyline seems to be abandoned unless they have something to do with the game and the Gargoyle King.

Turning it over to you, Riverdale Cravers.

Are Josie and Archie going to be serious? What does Gladys want from Riverdale? Are Hermione and Hiram still aligned? How will Kevin mend his broken heart?

Oh, and congrats Sierra and Tommy. Those two lovebirds finally tied the knot, even if it did piss off half the town!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Red Dahlia (3×11)

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Riverdale Red Dahlia

Riverdale is a wicked crime town, and no one is innocent. Not Betty, not Jughead, not Archie, and definitely not Veronica.

“The Red Dahlia,” a term Betty used on Penelope in this episode makes the point that the parents are all to blame for the dysfunction and murder.

Though the plots have become twisted and tangled that it may sometimes become a little difficult to follow along, the point being drive home is that Hermione and Penelope are working together to take over Hiram Lodge’s empire.

Penelope was revealed as not only Clifford’s killer but Daryl and Claudius’ as well. Her storyline is very straightforward — she takes out the bad men.

Clifford was responsible for Jason’s death while Claudius was responsible for poisoning Sweetwater River thus leading to seizures in the high school.

Now, how does Hermione play into all of this?

Her web of lies is a bit more complex.

As we know, Riverdale writers love playing with the structure of an episode and Jughead’s ‘who-dun-it’ film noir vibe gave this town even more, er, charm.

Jughead doesn’t strike me as the type of guy eager to find Hiram Lodge’s shooter, however, when Veronica asks sweetly, his crime-solving and investigative reporter senses began tingling and it was an offer he couldn’t pass up.

Much like the rest of us, Veronica assumed her mother was responsible for shooting her father.

And she was technically wrong.

While Hermione didn’t do the crime, she did place the order.

FP Jones confessed to killing Hermione in exchange for the Sherriff’s position.

Now, admittedly, this wasn’t much of a surprise. Much of the town has a bone to pick with Hiram, but there are two dads in particular that really want revenge for how he’s treated their sons — Fred and FP.

Fred may have threated Hiram in the last episode, but he doesn’t have the guts to carry something like that out.

But FP? Yeah, that dude has it in him.

FP believed the Sheriff position would ensure his safety is Hermione tried to double-cross him, which she definitely attempted, but Jughead was one step ahead of them all.

After meeting with Hermione, he didn’t necessarily trust her and her attempts at steering Juggy in a different direction to Hiram’s mistress didn’t absolve her of anything.

Jughead had his Serpent’s follow her and what they found out had the ability to shake Riverdale to its core: Sheriff Minetta, previously believed to have been beheaded by the Man in Black, was as alive as ever and having an affair with Hermione.

What’s worse? Hermione wanted him to go finish off her husband with a cop’s gun so she could pin the blame on FP.

Look, I underestimated Hermione — that lady is wicked.

Minetta isn’t the first person to turn up alive in Riverdale after believing to be dead, however.

Tallboy resurrected for a bit as the Gargoyle King only to end up dead again this time at the hands of the Sweet Pea and Fangs.

Jughead and FP were presented with the opportunity to frame someone that’s already dead with the attempted attack on Hiram, which evidently angered Madam Mayor.

Another hiccup in Hermione’s plan? Archie Andrews.

Archie’s hatred for the Man in Black actually ended up saving his life which is something neither she, nor we, nor he (Archie) expected.

Archie thought that killing Hiram would somehow put an end to his spiraling. I appreciate the effort, but man Archie, get it together.

Archie was never going to go through with killing Hiram, but at the very least the moment showed us that this isn’t the optimistic and doe-eyed man we met in the first season.

He’s been through a lot and that’s changed him.

However, while sneaking into Hiram’s room in a completely deserted hospital room (seriously, after they mentioned jobs Hiram rarely go unfinished, you’d think the hospital at least be staffed) he botches Minetta’s plans to off Hiram as a favor to Hermione.

Archie is back on the hero train, y’all!

Veronica was grateful, but she still had a lot to take care of.

She was basically upkeeping the family’s mafia status to prevent the vultures from taking over.

Thankfully, she had Smithers and Reggie to help her with it, and you have to admit there’s something intriguing about Reggie posing as the Man in Black. Is this a possible foreshadowing for what’s to come with Ronnie’s relationship?

The main course constituted of dealing with the Fizzle Rocks factory situation.

Both the prison and the Maple Club were pumping out the drugs, which Hermione claimed to know nothing about.

She told Veronica that the quarantine was a smokescreen to cleanly and swiftly dismantle production, however, Hiram lied to her and consolidated everything into the prison.

Hermione is interested in selling the factory off and getting a good chunk of change, but that doesn’t eliminate the problem — drugs would still continue to be pumped out into Riverdale.

Veronica has a much better idea of just destroying the drugs and the factory altogether. It’s a bold choice as it does basically burn all of Hiram’s investments, not to mention screws out a buyer. I wonder how Hiram will react once he finds out.

Outing Tallboy as the Gargoyle King was pretty lame, but I’m wondering if it was a red herring and Hermione is the real master manipulator.

After Minetta failed to kill Hiram and her plans were thwarted by Archie, FP and Jughead, Hermione ruthlessly had to cut looses ends and shot Minetta point-blank.

Who knew she had it in her?

Kelly Ripa’s appearance as Hiram’s mistress was underwhelming.

Her acting wasn’t good at all, and during her scene with Jughead, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but that.

But also adding her into the narrative simply to explain that she faked the water reports so that Hiram could continue operating his drug factory was lame.

Will see more of her?

Penelope may have inadvertently confessed to being a killer, although serial killer is pushing it, Betty isn’t any better.

In fact, lecturing Penelope was very hypocritical of her since she basically sold out Chic to the Black Hood.

And Penelope made sure to let her know if she turned her in, she would turn Betty in.

I still don’t understand the point of Hal and Betty’s meetings unless they are showing us that Betty’s beginning to understand why people become deranged in crime town.

In the end, everyone was at a stalemate.

Penelope made sure Betty wouldn’t turn her in because if she did, she’d turn Betty in for Chic’s death.

Hermione confessed to everything, but Jughead couldn’t report her because she promised to take his father down with him.

And Archie and Hiram may have made up, but where do they go from here?

Hiram was thankful, obviously, and Archie was so stunned by his own actions, he agreed to a truce.

Do I really think that Hiram would just have a change of heart? He searched near and far to get his hands on Archie so it seems unlikely that he’d just let it all go.

The only way Hiram would let his vendetta go is if he’s benefitting from it in some way.

What has Archie agreed to now?

Archie needs a sense of direction because as it stands, he himself isn’t even sure if he loves or loathes Hiram.

Maybe Josie’s interest in him and his excitement to return to “jamming” out will bring back the old Archie?

If Josie is about to be Archie’s new love interest, I’ll stan it as long as it gives her more free time.

However, she’s too sweet and innocent to corrupt so please don’t go that route!

Are we at the end of Hiram Lodge?

What happens now that Hermione has taken the reigns? And where the hell are those weirdos from The Farm?

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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Stranger (3×10)

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Riverdale "Chapter Forty-Five: The Stranger

Hiram Lodge is down. Claudius Blossom is dead. And FP Jones is the new Sheriff in town.

In other words, Riverdale just flipped the script.

It’s about time Hiram’s reign ended, and it was so satisfying that it happened while he was boasting about how he’s “always one step ahead of the game.”

Given the way Hiram was injured — a bow and arrow — my money was on Cheryl Blossom delivering the possibly fatal (oh, who are we kidding? It couldn’t be that easy!) blow.

Cheryl has a motive as Hiram Lodge was technically the reason she and Toni were kicked out of the Southside Serpents.

However, what transpired shortly after Hiram’s hospitalization made me wonder that maybe it was the quietest Lodge of them all?

Of course, I’m referring to Hermione. She’s been difficult to figure out. At times, it seems like she’s disgusted with her husband, other times it seems like she supports him, but when Ronnie questions her, she always tells her daughter that she “has no other choice.”

She’s doing it for the family.

And there’s her motive.

Shortly before the bow pierced Hiram through the heart, he ordered Hermione to select Claudius Blossom as the Sheriff of Riverdale.

When she tried to object, he told her she didn’t have much of a choice. It was threatening and menacing even though Hiram’s disposition never changed.

It’s the first time we’ve ever outwardly seen Hiram act this way towards his wife, but I’m betting it isn’t the first time it’s happened. 

We know that his objective has been to put key players in high-power positions around Riverdale to ensure he gets what he wants. Hermione’s Mayoral position seems to be his “get out of jail free” card. 

Aside from the motive to protect herself and her family, Hermione also suspiciously connected with FP Jones shortly after Hiram’s accident telling him, “it’s time” before handing over the Sheriff’s torch to him.

Now, it’s a major leap for a man who spent his whole life leading the Serpent’s — and if anyone can handle this job, it’s FP — but it’s not necessarily a step-up when you think about the history of Sheriffs in Riverdale.

Either they are pushed out of office or they end up dead. Claudius Blossom didn’t last a full day as Sheriff before being jailed and murdered.

Speaking of, it seems Riverdale didn’t succeed in finding a purpose for Claudius. Bringing him back as the twin brother of Clifford and Cheryl’s uncle seemed like it was done more for shock value. There was no actual plan for Claudius, he was simply utilized into whatever storyline the writers saw fit until he died being Hiram’s henchman.

Archie’s return to Riverdale couldn’t be more perfectly timed.

Not only did Archie slay Hiram Lodge in a state of hallucinations, but he also returned just as someone else took him out temporarily.

However, the Archie that returned to Riverdale wasn’t the same music-loving, naive kid anymore. He seemed more like a stranger, even to himself, and everyone was noticing. 

His return to Riverdale probably wasn’t what he was expecting.

For starters, he was way behind on the SATs, which is almost comical to think about given everything he’s been through.

Watching him study with Betty to pass the test while everyone else — Ronnie, Jughead — took it seriously was such a normal moment for this series, it felt out of place.

When the hell did anyone else have time to study in between fighting the Black Hood, the Gargoyle King, and having their school threatened with a shutdown on a daily basis?

In addition to his education hanging in the balance, Archie’s relationship with Ronnie was rocky at best.

She tried to welcome him back with open arms, pushing aside whatever happened with Reggie, to be there for her man, however, Archie couldn’t appreciate a party thrown for him when he just wrestled a bear and lived out in a cabin in Canada to avoid her father. 

There’s no going back from that. His PTSD isn’t the least bit surprising. 

Ronnie pulled the trigger on the relationship after adding insult to injury by questioning if Archie had anything to do with her father’s accident.

Seriously, would she really be surprised if he did?

Instead of being there for his since she’s predominantly the reason he’s in this damn mess in the first place, she blamed Archie and then chose Reggie.

Archie was way too understanding in this scene. He gave up everything for her, went through hell and back, and became a target of Hiram’s all so she could just move on with his buddy?

Reggie, you better know what you’re getting into.

Reggie confronted Archie wondering “what the hell was wrong with him,” but good luck coming out of a relationship unscathed by Hiram, the devil incarnate.

I’m sad to see the demise of one of my favorite couples, but it will be interesting to see life post Varchie in Riverdale. What does that look like? Do they remain cordial?

If we didn’t have enough evil looming in Riverdale, Hal Cooper found his way back into the narrative after Betty’s mother gave all of her college money away to The Farm.

Ugh, the damn Farm is getting on my nerves.

What’s worse is that Betty’s money paid for The Farm to take up residency at the SOQM. Like that place needs another cult!

There should be a law that anyone involved in a cult shouldn’t be able to make decisions about their children’s money.

How twisted is it that Betty was so disgusted with her mother, she found comfort in her murder-craving father.

She attempted to have a normal conversation with him, ignoring the fact that he almost killed her and her mother just a few months ago. 

Hey, at least Hal was all for signing the paperwork to help Betty out.

Both Hal and Tall Boy were red herrings when it came to unmasking the Gargoyle King, which was super frustrating.

Tall Boy’s involvement was a bit more surprising since we assumed he was dead, but he was obviously just doing the dirty work for someone higher up on the food chain.

Tall Boy seems to have more lives than a cat on this series, however, this time, I’m pretty sure Fangs and Sweet Pea really did kill him.

This would have been problematic if the new Sheriff wasn’t also the former gang leader who would undoubtedly help them cover this up.

Also, you have to wonder what putting a Gang leader as a sheriff will do to the town? At least he won’t be easily manipulated. 

Do you think Hermione has bigger plans to phase out Hiram?

Will Jughead accept his father’s new position?

What is happening over at The Farm?

Is Hiram actually dead?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

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