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Riverdale – Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! (1×06)

A talent show, an insane asylum and more secrets and lies on this weeks Riverdale.

Sometimes the monsters never go away and sometimes, the monster is your own mother.

That’s the case for Betty Cooper, who just can’t shake the thought that her mother and father had something to do with Jason Blossom’s murder. Her suspicions aren’t unwarranted – if you met Alice, you’d totally understand. Even with a full blown “I wish I’d killed him” fit, I still think she’s responsible. It don’t get crazier than this lady. I mean, how vile do you have to be to make everyone around you believe your daughter is insane so you can commit her to some kind of Catholic institution.

It seems like that’s exactly what Polly’s parents did to her when her “romance” with Jason came to a climax. Thanks to some super sleuthing from Betty and Jughead, they were able to track down Polly’s whereabouts. Seriously, who still uses checkbooks?

Polly and Betty’s reunion was filled with bliss and a shock – Polly was PREGNANT with Jason’s baby. See, she wasn’t doing drugs and trying to kill herself like Alice said… or at least that’s what Polly wants us to believe. Her side of the story is that she was going to run away with Jason on July 4th. The plan was in motion but as she arrived downstairs, she was met with two guards dressed in white who whisked her away to the institution where she was committed for being crazy.

Polly enthusiastically asks Betty to give Jason a message – after all, he’s probably confused on why she left him hanging. This is the moment that Betty realizes everything her parents ever said to her was a lie. They told her straight to her face that she couldn’t see Polly because she wasn’t handling Jason’s death well that clearly wasn’t the case because she didn’t even know about it. When she broke the news to her sister, she had a little bit of a meltdown and it was all interrupted by the “headmistress” of this home, who already made a call to Alice, who was less than pleased.

Despite their best efforts, Betty’s parents did little to nothing to convince her that they weren’t responsible for Jason’s murder. She knew that they would try to make her seem insane if they couldn’t control her so she had to beat them to the punch – out them to the town. After a brief rendezvous with Jughead, which I hope they’ll discuss in later episodes, their first step was to verify Polly’s story. When they find the runaway car with all of Jason’s things, and drugs, inside, they take a few pics (thank god) and head to warn the Sheriff.

Unfortunately, it seems like Jughead hasn’t seen to many movies because neither of them anticipated that the crazy parents would probably stalk them. When they returned to the scene again, the whole car with all the evidence had been set ablaze. Here’s the good part – no one can discredit Betty or what she’d seen because the car they’d mentioned did in fact exist… with or without the evidence.

The duo rushed back to the institution to help Polly but they were too late – she’d jumped out of the window, fresh blood on the broken glass. Was she okay? Where was she headed? Was she in a healthy state of mind? I don’t believe for one second Polly was ever crazy but being locked up in a mental asylum when you’re pregnant and then finding out the love of your life has been killed, might take a toll on her.

While Betty and Jughead were getting their Scooby-Doo on, the rest of the clan was busy honing in their musical talents for the school’s variety show.

Archie was preparing for his big debut, only to realize that he had crippling stage fright. He asked Valerie to perform with him and help him overcome it but she was under a strict contract from Josie, never to perform without the Pussycats. Thankfully, Veronica was also gifted in the music department and offered to perform with Archie.

That is until she found out that her mother was cheating on her in-prison father with Archie’s dad Fred. She was furious and that was only amplified when she found out he’d given her singing part to Valerie, who quit the band because of Josie’s terrible attitude.

Things hit a breaking point during dinner at the Mayor’s house. Fred was over to pitch an offer to land the drive-in theater deal, not knowing Hermione was actually the buyer. When Veronica refused to sign off on giving Fred the contract, he mother went behind her back and forged her signature. Parents still run this town kids… and all to help her “boyfriend.” The ultimate betrayal.

It was at this same dinner that Archie realized Josie’s father was a complete tool, treating his daughter’s band like Destiny’s Child…. even though they were playing a school show. That’s when I realized home boy needed to get a clue.

He told Valerie to return to Josie and the Pussycats and help them perform. Josie was more than happy to offer her longtime friend the spot back and instead of 3 kitties, 4 performed. Yep, Veronica got to keep her spot on the squad because she’s “hot.”

As for Archie – he crushed his singing debut and made his friends and father proud. Then he even got the girl. Seriously, Valerie has made him completely forget about Ms. Grundy… although I have a feeling she’ll be back eventually. But for now, nothing can go wrong for this jock.

When it comes to the series though, Archie’s character is lackluster, serving no real purpose to the overall mystery, even though he’s technically supposed to be the main character. Unless they’re hiding that he’s secretly the psycho who killed Jason, which I doubt, he’s really just the dumb jock who was at the creek the night Jason died.

And yes, I said dumb because Archie proved without any doubt this week that that’s exactly what he is. He didn’t know Josie was short for Josephine, he didn’t know who Josephine Baker was, he’s constantly bailing on his friends and well, even Jughead realized Betty was a girl you want to lock down.

Simply put, Archie’s useless unless we’re talking eye candy.. for now. Prove me wrong Archie…. is that short for Archibald?

Riverdale – Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! (1×06) Reviewed by on . A talent show, an insane asylum and more secrets and lies on this weeks Riverdale. Sometimes the monsters never go away and sometimes, the monster is your own m A talent show, an insane asylum and more secrets and lies on this weeks Riverdale. Sometimes the monsters never go away and sometimes, the monster is your own m Rating: 0
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