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Riverdale – Tales From The Darkside (2×07)

Black Hood, Riverdale Reaper, pancake mix, oh my.

It’s become pretty clear that the Black Hood’s main goal is to eliminate the sticky little town of sinners.

On this week’s episode, our hooded villain put the fine citizens of Riverdale up to a test — could they actually be decent human beings?

Apparently not because the first thing that everyone does after being put to test is to SIN all over the place.

Let’s start with Jughead and Archie. Jughead is arguably one of the smartest characters on the show yet he somehow allowed Penny Peabody, who his father warned him about, to get him involved in something really shady.

Penny was so obviously lying about FP and setting Jughead up and I was upset that he was so naive that he flat out believed her instead of doing his due diligence, which you would expect from a young novelist and brimming detective, and checking out the facts himself.

If FP really distrusted Penny so much, why would he call her in a time of need? And why wouldn’t they have called Jughead to inform him?

Of course, Jughead had to drag Archie down with him and Archie proved that he was a ride-or-die friend because he followed their mission through to the very end. Surely the guilt was a contributing factor since Penny told Juggy that FP took a beating because of that little racing fallout with the Ghoulies, which was Archie’s fault.

Whoever is writing for season 2 of this show really studied up on their horror movies because man, I’ve never been so anxious watching a CW show in my life.

I couldn’t even bare to watch Jughead hop into that truck with that stranger (and if he looked familiar it’s because he’s the OG murderer the Candyman!) with what I’m assuming was pounds and pounds of Jingle Jangle.

The Candyman brought up a parallel-serial killer the Riverdale Reape, which I’m surprised Jughead, a connoisseur of murder mysteries, had never heard about. Could the Reaper really be connected to Black Hood? Could it be the same person? Was it that truck driver? Why was he killing deer? And why did Archie have some weird connection with said bloody deer? It was all types of bizarre.

Still, Archie came through when the guy wanted to run off with Jughead’s drugs by leaving him behind at the diner. Shady on all levels.

And taking an even shadier level was the realization that Penny set Jughead up as revenge for FP not paying his dues and now he was going to be her drug mule, which if you ask me is a huge sin and skyrockets him up right to the very top of the Black Hood’s hit list.

Next up we’ve got the very odd story of poor little Josie, a small town girl with big dreams of becoming the next Whitney Houston. She’s having a bit of a Destiny’s Child problem since she’s trying to go solo and leave the Pussycats behind. And if that isn’t enough stress on her vocal chords, she’s also being stalked by someone who keeps leaving creepy presents in her locker.

Look, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s the Black Hood. Why that doesn’t occur to her I’m not sure. She believes that it’s newly-reformed Chuck Clayton; you may remember him from the slut-shaming episode. Yep, he’s back just in the nick of time and he swears that he’s innocent. The Sheriff backs up those claims, her mother tells her all about the death threats she’s getting, she has that horrifying dream that BH is slicing her throat and yet she still goes to practice after-hours at the school by herself. What a bold girl I tell ya.

So who is terrorizing Josie? It would seem like none-other than Cheryl Blossom, who was spotted drawing a portrait of her and the girl who saved her life from Nick a few episodes ago, which was similar to the one in the locker. What’s the deal her though? Is Cheryl just so grateful she becomes obsessive? Is she having a breakdown? Does she have a crush?

Out of all three stories, the adventures of Bee and Vee seem the lightest and that’s really saying something. Betty came to the crazy conclusion that Sheriff Keller was Black Hood and oddly enough, it was a plausible choice. Veronica, on the other hand, seemed to think that Keller was simply having an affair. Either way, when you’re told that someone you thought was good is now up-to-no-good, you begin to see them in a different light. Everything they do is suspicious.

Veronica decided to prove her women’s intuition by orchestrating a sleepover at Kevin’s house. Don’t you love just how much these two have bonded? During her snoopfest, she sneaks up on Keller who is all types of older daddy goals while working out in the basement. She begins prying about Mrs. Keller but is interrupted by Kevin, who was up to get his glass of milk, bless his little soul.

Betty is resilient so she investigates more by sneaking into the Keller house to discover the Sheriff’s A-inspired lair. Obviously, Keller caught her and obviously, he had a logical explanation for it — it’s the one they found in Archie’s locker. Silly Betty.

Finally, she convinced Veronica to help her spy on Keller in the middle of the night and it turns out, Vee was on the money.  How sad is it that she’s so exposed to this stuff, she can pick up on the signs of a man having an affair?  The mystery woman….. Mayor McCoy.

McCoy is quite the hypocrite; she forbids Josie from doing anything because she “fears for her safety,” but last I checked, sneaking around with a married men at tacky motels at 4am in the morning is the worst type of SINNING. No wonder she’s getting death threats.

This new alliance has me wondering if maybe Keller really is the Black Hood and in cahoots (and in bed) with the Mayor to make Riverdale the kind of town they want.

Just when you think you’ve figured it all out, they keep surprising you.

Who do you think is the most screwed? I would say Jughead is topping my list right now because if he doesn’t find a way to free himself from Penny and the Serpent’s, he’s going to end up like FP… or worse. His only saving grace would be for FP to actually get out of jail and bring back order.

And what exactly does the Black Hood mean by the reckoning? Someone call Sabrina stat.

Other Thoughts

  • Even though this is such a small town and most of the people in that diner when Black Hood made the call are dating or otherwise connected, neither of them knew what the other was up to. It was weird seeing V & B and Archie and Jughead there but not actually acknowledging each other.
  • I love that Betty is 100% behind her man and wearing a Serpent t-shirt in bed! So badass!
  • Where are all the parents actually parenting this week?

Riverdale – Tales From The Darkside (2×07) Reviewed by on . Black Hood, Riverdale Reaper, pancake mix, oh my. It's become pretty clear that the Black Hood's main goal is to eliminate the sticky little town of sinners. On Black Hood, Riverdale Reaper, pancake mix, oh my. It's become pretty clear that the Black Hood's main goal is to eliminate the sticky little town of sinners. On Rating: 0
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