Jane The Virgin returned tonight in all of her glory with her miracle baby Mateo, who some neighborhood folk are calling the second coming. (Yes, like Jesus and the Virgin Mary, my mom would be so proud that I watch this show!)
But first, they had to save that just-born baby boy from the kidnapping nurse. Thankfully, Rose or Sin Rose-tro wasn’t looking to keep Mateo for too long- she just needed him as leverage to get what she wanted; a pin that Luisa stole from her. The pin was actually a drive that contained all of the faces of Sin Rostro’s clients, before and after the surgery.
Michael met up with Nadine, his former partner for the exchange. She was sure Michael wouldn’t give up the drive, but there is one thing more important to him than taking down Rose and that’s Jane… even if she did just have a baby with Rafael.
After the happy reunion, which lasted briefly, everyone was trying to get back to “normal,” whatever that really is. Seriously, is anything in Jane’s world ever normal? She was artificially inseminated for crying out loud! Anyways, she runs into two problems:
One- the baby can’t latch on and is dropping in weight. While the doctor isn’t TOO concerned, Jane needs to step up her breast feeding game. (Can I just add how much I love that JTV writers are talking so openly about this and educating me at the same time! Much love.)
Problem number two- the flock of people gathered around outside of her house to witness the miracle. I mean the nuns are out there, the mocks are singing, the lady from the bus is giving a play by play of how she saw the baby. Why? Because Rogelio retweeted an amber alert. He ain’t feeling so #blessed now.
Jane is able to avoid the paparazzo and get to her lactating class, where she learns that you need to stuff your boob into the babies mouth like a hamburger. Props to Abuela and Xo for helping their girl out with that. Also, shame on the lady who told Jane to move into the light so a pap could get a picture, although I can’t hate cause that’s actual Justin Baldoni’s wife. Hey girl!
The real lesson came when Rafael stepped up to the plate, read a book, and in a time of need gave up this piece of genius advice: the baby is just waiting for the milk to come in. Bravo! And Bravo to Michael for helping out the dude that pretty much stole his fiancee when he could have just let him burn.
Despite that impressive moment, Jane seems to be digging Michael. I know she isn’t getting much sleep, but honestly, there was flirting going on wasn’t there? And how could you not love Michael? He saved Jane’s baby, helped Rogelio get off Twitter and figure out how to be a “papa,” he helped Rafael establish his place amongst the Villanueva women. He’s like an angel.
And all this coming from a girl who is team Rafael. I know… what am I doing? That’s the same thing Jane is probably asking herself. After a brief heart-to-heart with her baby daddy, she allowed him to sleep over for the next couple of weeks to bond with the baby. Aww Jane. She didn’t think it would affect her given the butterflies for Michael, but then BAM, Rafael took his shirt off and showed off that impressive body… you know cause skin to skin contact is good for establishing a relationship with the baby. We knew that. What’s a girl to do now?
Well… Petra might have that answer soon. Oh Petra, Petra. We’ve been on a wild ride with this girl and it’s only getting crazier as Luisa drags her further down the rabbit hole. Stop 1, CrazyTown! Rafael’s ex spent most of the episode drunk and contemplating what to do with the sperm he didn’t know he had. There were moments I felt bad because she too was once expecting a baby with Raf. Then, I didn’t feel bad because her Pros and Cons list of having the baby were ridiculous. The only reason she wants it is to get back together with the man that doesn’t love her. Or does he?
That’s the crazy idea Luisa put into Petra’s brain in order to “make things up to Rafael,” who is trying to get Petra’s share of the hotel back. This persuaded Petra to literally kick her feet up in the air and insert the last remaining sperm with a turkey baster. Now, should we be worried? A little. But my guess is that Petra’s trial was completely unsuccessful because she was most likely drunk. On the off chance that it was though- we have a BIG problem. Thankfully, her assistant totally caught on. What will happen next?
As for the big cliffhanger, there is a woman somewhere far away watching the news of the “miracle baby” being born and she wants to get Jane. Who is she? Is she Rafael’s mother? I’d assume it isn’t Rose… she gave the baby back. So who is the new big bad and what does she want with this little family? I’ve got to say, this cliffhanger was a little bit of a downer for me after such a fun, family-oriented episode, but I forgot- this is a telenovela and it should act as such.
It’s good to see you guys back on my TV screen!
TV Shows to Binge During Your Self-Quarantine and Social Distancing
In case you haven’t been keeping up with global news, coronavirus, COVID-19, is forcing everyone to practice the 2020 version of”conscious uncoupling” known as “social distancing.”
Many cities/states are on lockdown with bars, restaurants, and other establishments closing their doors to keep the outbreak from spreading even more than it has.
If you’ve found yourself self-quarantined at home on the couch to prevent the spread of germs, you’ll likely be looking for things to keep yourself occupied.
Many shows have shuttered production with daytime and late-night talk shows going sans audiences or completely dark for the remainder of the month.
And this means it’s the perfect time to binge-watch those shows you’ve been putting off.
Here are some shows to watch during your self-quarantine.
What the world needs now is a fixer who could tell us all how to get out of this mess. Since that’s not possible, we have the next best thing in Olivia Pope, DC’s fixer and right-hand to the President, who is also in a torrid love affair with him. It’s political, dramatic, and sexy as hell to this day.
Don’t you wish we could all travel back to a time before the coronavirus? Same. Maybe if we had a time machine like Lucy, Wyatt, and Rufus, we totally could. But alas, we’ll have to settle for watching their journey through key historical moments as they attempt to stop Rittenhouse from destroying the world.
Locke & Key
Think Harry Potter meets Narnia. Netflix’s new fantasy thriller finds a family moving into a mansion following their father’s death where they learn that it’s filled with secret keys that open up portals to other dimensions. You never know where you’ll end up, but it’ll make you forget you’re curled up on your couch amidst a toilet-paper shortage.
Elliot works as a cybersecurity engineer by day and doubles as a vigilante hacker by night. When he’s recruited by a mysterious underground organization, he’s forced to do things that make him question his personal beliefs, his morals, and most importantly, what’s real and what isn’t.
Financial burdens (like the fact that you spent all your money stocking up on canned goods and paper towels) plague three suburban moms who are tired of always playing “catch up.” They decide to take matters into their own hands and rob a grocery store. Soon, they find themselves trying to navigate a world of crime that has absolutely no rules. As they try to survive, their actions will keep you on the edge of your seat.
You’ve already heard of Stranger Things, and if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s high time you do. The series takes place in 1980s Indiana and follows a group of young friends who become privy to supernatural happening within the government.
There’s no better time than during a quarantine to watch all 16 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. Honestly, when else are you going to have the time? All you need to know is that it’s a medical drama, there’s a doctor named McDreamy, and Shonda Rhimes is the boss babe behind it.
The Good Place is a stroke of comedic genius mixed with some of the most insightful and wholesome storytelling of our generation. It’s also the only series that had the perfect series finale (fight me, but after coronavirus cause there’s a no-touching ban). Eleanor Shellstrop is shocked to find herself in the Good Place following her death and immediately realizes she’s there by mistake. No one is prepared for her hilarious afterlife antics as she hides from architect Michael and her new friends while trying to become a better version of herself.
Don’t be deterred by the plot — a young Latina woman learns she’s pregnant after she’s accidentally artificially inseminated. The series weaves together the best parts of a telenovela while adding heart, feshed-out characters, strong female leads, irresistible love interests, and family at the forefront of every storyline.
Love is Blind
In the reality TV vein, Netflix delivered the world’s newest obsession. It’s a social experiment that many claim prepared our generation for dating throughout “social distancing.” Love is Blind forces a handful of contestants to meet people while isolated in pods. Once they find their “soulmate,” they propose to them without meeting face-to-face and a few weeks later, walk down the aisle.
If you’re not familiar with Joe Goldberg, you’re missing out. YOU is a suspenseful thriller that digs into the mind of an obsessed serial killer and follows his romantic relationships.
Game of Thrones
Similarly to Greys Anatomy, when else are you going to find the time to watch all of Game of Thrones? This is the perfect time to dig into a pop culture phenomenon so you know what “winter is coming” means the next time someone mentions it.
The Marvelous Ms. Maisel
If there’s anyone that can cheer you up and put a smile on your face, it’s Ms. Maisel. Set in the late 1950s, Miriam aka “Midge” breaks the rules and pursues a career in stand-up comedy. While it’s unheard of for women of her class to pursue a career, it’s even more unheard of a woman succeeding in such an industry. But leave it to Midge to prove everyone wrong and do it with flair and style!
Jane the Virgin – Chapter One Hundred (5×19)
It should be noted that I had to tell myself to be brave while writing this review and wiping away so many happy tears.
As far as series finales go, Jane the Virgin’s hit every mark and was a treat for longtime fans.
One would say it was the inverse of what made Jane the Virgin such a household name; it bypassed the usual telenovela-twists and opted for happy endings all around.
There will always be things that I wish would have happened, but confined to a one-hour window, the finale was pretty perfect.
Jane the Virgin – Chapter Ninety-Eight (5×17)
How do we say goodbye?
Xiomara posed that very question at the end of Jane the Virgin Season 5 Episode 17, and nothing sums up my feelings more succinctly.
We’re almost at the end, and despite this being the weakest season to date, it’s still bittersweet.
Look, nothing against anyone on the Jane the Virgin team.
Putting together a final season is a tall order, and appeasing everyone is nearly impossible.
We’re always going to have a bone to pick with something. That’s just life.
Nevertheless, I’m enjoying this strange ride for what it is and soaking up these last moments with the Gloriana Villaneuva family.
The realistic moments of the episode were really great, but the moments that leaned heavily into telenovela territory fell short.
Rose’s masterplan was revealed and to be honest, it was lame and non-existent.
Everything she’s ever done was motivated by her love for Luisa.
She broke out of jail and created an army of minions in order to be with her one true love.
If Luisa hadn’t betrayed Rose, Rose wouldn’t have had any motive to come after Jane.
Rose has been an elusive and terrifying villain all these years, but she just felt like a run-of-the-mill villain when she ambushed Jane.
Yes, I was a nervous wreck the entire time, but only because I expected Rose to already have people at Mateo’s school waiting for him or something.
Did anyone even know where Mateo was at the time? And why did no one come to check in on Jane?
Then, Rose’s grand plan was to sneak into the This Is Mars party essentially wearing alien costumes from Spirit Halloween.
What happened to the plastic surgery genius who could change her appearance at the snap of her fingers?
The one who befriended Michael as Susanna and faked his whole death?
We needed that Rose to come out and play.
Read the full review at TV Fanatic!
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