Jane the Virgin went from telenovela to murder mystery in a snap!
I’m surprised by how good and addicting this show is. One minute we’re dealing with a Spanish telenovela star freaking out about an escaped tiger, and the next, with real issues of a accidental pregnancy that Jane hopes doesn’t change her life. The writing somehow balances both out to create this charming and witty show that I’m really digging.
We start off with Jane telling everyone in her family: abuela, mama and new fiancee that they aren’t going to refer to this baby as a baby… their going to call it a milkshake. The idea comes from Jane’s quinceniera, where her mother took over the dance floor, showing off her scandalous move to Kelis’s hit about milkshakes bringing the boys to the yard. Don’t ask, we’re not sure either. Jane tells them that this milkshake isn’t going to change her life and she’s just going to live normally, deliver the baby and give it away to Petra and Rafael. Bonus points for the strong women in Jane’s life. The relationship she has with them is unlike any other and I’m glad the CW is showing that single mothers can raise smart and independent daughters! And while Xiomara may be really out there, she’s always stayed passionate about her singing dream and always put Jane’s happiness first. Hence the milkshake incident at the party. What Jane doesn’t know is that she was only protecting her daughter from seeing her date make out with some other girl. What a fantastic mama!
Jane is wrong thinking nothing will change. Everything about the baby has changed her life already. It’s really the only thing on her mind. First she searches the internet to find out some information about Rafael and all she finds are nude photos from his vacation that eventually got him arrested. She freaks out saying she wont give the baby away to some party animal, but thankfully Michael steps in and calms her down saying this is probably all in Rafael’s past.
Jane is ambushed by Rafael at work. He tells her that she should sue his sister for the accidental insemination and she onces again, freaks out. Must be the hormones. Eventually the two make up and she invites him and Petra to the first sonogram. Apparently the sonogram is a huge event which brings the “happy” couple, Michael, abuela and mom to the office. The doctor doesn’t even have room to look at Jane so she kicks everyone out except for the mother and father. They spend the time bonding, flirting, reminiscing about the time that they met and kissed, and listening to the babies heartbeat.
Meanwhile, outside of the doctors office, Michael and Petra get to know each other and not in the best way. Since Michael is a detective, one of his jobs has been spying on Zazo. Zazo is Rafael’s best friend and Petra’s secret lover. Michael let’s her know that if she doesn’t break it off with Zazo, he will tell Rafael about her affair and Jane will never give them the baby. However, Petra picks up on the fact that Michael, whose newly engaged, doesn’t want to keep the baby either, so she promises to end it soon.
Was she really planning on ending it? I think so. After the doctor visit, Petra comes clean to Rafael, who becomes cold to her. Hey, I would be too if I just found out my wife was cheating on me. But instead of continuing on the divorce path, Rafael gives her the first sonogram photos and tells her he wants to work it out. This man seriously wants a baby and who can blame him? It’s his last chance! This is an ideal situation for Petra, who wants to stick it out so she can get money from Rafael’s prenup. Money hungry biotch!
Michael is super jealous of Jane and Rafael. As the narrator says, he never planned to date a virgin, but he fell for Jane. Now, he’s stuck in this shitty predicament and he’s watching Jane get close to the father of the baby. Not to mention she just confessed that she kissed Rafael five years ago. A kiss is still a kiss. To try to keep her away from Rafael (yeah, like that’s possible) he tells Jane to quit her job at the hotel. She considers it, but after hearing the babies heartbeat and realizing that her life will be changed drastically by this pregnancy, decides it’s time to be selfish and she tells Michael she won’t quit the job. Michael later apologizes explaining that the job isn’t the only stable thing in her life. His love is another. They make up in a cute make out scene, but that ends quickly when Michael spies Jane and Rafael taking a nightly stroll and literally turns into a green jealous monster.
Other things that happened this week: Jane’s mother Xiomara decided not to tell Jane about her real father just yet in order to keep some balance in her life. However, she did decide to get to know him personally again and abuela found out when she walked into the room and saw her daughter sleeping with the telenovela presidente!
Luise continued to accept patients and practice until she got her notice that her license was suspended. Her ex-lover and ex-lawyer was helping her get through this tough time. If Jane decided to sue, Rafael’s hotels were part of the assets that could be affected. This upset Luise, but not enough. She ended up getting it on with her ex… take that Alison. Except that her ex-lover is also her step-mother! What the hell? This is after all, a telenovela right? But seriously, how disturbing on so many levels.
And finally, for the grand finale. Jane is working the party when suddenly, Zazo falls from a balcony or something and right onto the pointy tip of the marlin ice sculpture. Dead. Finito. Who killed him? There’s plenty of suspects to choose from really. It could have been Rafael, who just found out his wife was cheating on him with Zazo. He didn’t seem that upset, so maybe he did it. Petra could have also done it, seeing she wanted to stay with Rafael and Zazo wouldn’t let her. It could have also been Michael, whose jealousy got the best of him and he saw that Petra wasn’t breaking it off with him and he didn’t want Jane to keep the baby. Their all very legit possibilities, but I’m going to have to say that the person Michael has been looking for, that big bad wolf, was the one who did it. And that wolf that has disappeared from the radar is Petra’s mother. She’s the villain–although wheelchair bound with a burned face. I’m calling it now! That lady has to be doing more than just reading tarot cards right?
This show is so bizarre that it’s a good bizarre. Plus it’s already been picked up for a full season on the CW! Score! This episode gets 9/10 just because I’m so impressed by the telenovela storyline that didn’t come off to cheesy! How? I have no idea. I’m also really feeling the narrator. He’s a funny dude and adds much life to the storyline!
TV Shows to Binge During Your Self-Quarantine and Social Distancing
In case you haven’t been keeping up with global news, coronavirus, COVID-19, is forcing everyone to practice the 2020 version of”conscious uncoupling” known as “social distancing.”
Many cities/states are on lockdown with bars, restaurants, and other establishments closing their doors to keep the outbreak from spreading even more than it has.
If you’ve found yourself self-quarantined at home on the couch to prevent the spread of germs, you’ll likely be looking for things to keep yourself occupied.
Many shows have shuttered production with daytime and late-night talk shows going sans audiences or completely dark for the remainder of the month.
And this means it’s the perfect time to binge-watch those shows you’ve been putting off.
Here are some shows to watch during your self-quarantine.
What the world needs now is a fixer who could tell us all how to get out of this mess. Since that’s not possible, we have the next best thing in Olivia Pope, DC’s fixer and right-hand to the President, who is also in a torrid love affair with him. It’s political, dramatic, and sexy as hell to this day.
Don’t you wish we could all travel back to a time before the coronavirus? Same. Maybe if we had a time machine like Lucy, Wyatt, and Rufus, we totally could. But alas, we’ll have to settle for watching their journey through key historical moments as they attempt to stop Rittenhouse from destroying the world.
Locke & Key
Think Harry Potter meets Narnia. Netflix’s new fantasy thriller finds a family moving into a mansion following their father’s death where they learn that it’s filled with secret keys that open up portals to other dimensions. You never know where you’ll end up, but it’ll make you forget you’re curled up on your couch amidst a toilet-paper shortage.
Elliot works as a cybersecurity engineer by day and doubles as a vigilante hacker by night. When he’s recruited by a mysterious underground organization, he’s forced to do things that make him question his personal beliefs, his morals, and most importantly, what’s real and what isn’t.
Financial burdens (like the fact that you spent all your money stocking up on canned goods and paper towels) plague three suburban moms who are tired of always playing “catch up.” They decide to take matters into their own hands and rob a grocery store. Soon, they find themselves trying to navigate a world of crime that has absolutely no rules. As they try to survive, their actions will keep you on the edge of your seat.
You’ve already heard of Stranger Things, and if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s high time you do. The series takes place in 1980s Indiana and follows a group of young friends who become privy to supernatural happening within the government.
There’s no better time than during a quarantine to watch all 16 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. Honestly, when else are you going to have the time? All you need to know is that it’s a medical drama, there’s a doctor named McDreamy, and Shonda Rhimes is the boss babe behind it.
The Good Place is a stroke of comedic genius mixed with some of the most insightful and wholesome storytelling of our generation. It’s also the only series that had the perfect series finale (fight me, but after coronavirus cause there’s a no-touching ban). Eleanor Shellstrop is shocked to find herself in the Good Place following her death and immediately realizes she’s there by mistake. No one is prepared for her hilarious afterlife antics as she hides from architect Michael and her new friends while trying to become a better version of herself.
Don’t be deterred by the plot — a young Latina woman learns she’s pregnant after she’s accidentally artificially inseminated. The series weaves together the best parts of a telenovela while adding heart, feshed-out characters, strong female leads, irresistible love interests, and family at the forefront of every storyline.
Love is Blind
In the reality TV vein, Netflix delivered the world’s newest obsession. It’s a social experiment that many claim prepared our generation for dating throughout “social distancing.” Love is Blind forces a handful of contestants to meet people while isolated in pods. Once they find their “soulmate,” they propose to them without meeting face-to-face and a few weeks later, walk down the aisle.
If you’re not familiar with Joe Goldberg, you’re missing out. YOU is a suspenseful thriller that digs into the mind of an obsessed serial killer and follows his romantic relationships.
Game of Thrones
Similarly to Greys Anatomy, when else are you going to find the time to watch all of Game of Thrones? This is the perfect time to dig into a pop culture phenomenon so you know what “winter is coming” means the next time someone mentions it.
The Marvelous Ms. Maisel
If there’s anyone that can cheer you up and put a smile on your face, it’s Ms. Maisel. Set in the late 1950s, Miriam aka “Midge” breaks the rules and pursues a career in stand-up comedy. While it’s unheard of for women of her class to pursue a career, it’s even more unheard of a woman succeeding in such an industry. But leave it to Midge to prove everyone wrong and do it with flair and style!
Jane the Virgin – Chapter One Hundred (5×19)
It should be noted that I had to tell myself to be brave while writing this review and wiping away so many happy tears.
As far as series finales go, Jane the Virgin’s hit every mark and was a treat for longtime fans.
One would say it was the inverse of what made Jane the Virgin such a household name; it bypassed the usual telenovela-twists and opted for happy endings all around.
There will always be things that I wish would have happened, but confined to a one-hour window, the finale was pretty perfect.
Jane the Virgin – Chapter Ninety-Eight (5×17)
How do we say goodbye?
Xiomara posed that very question at the end of Jane the Virgin Season 5 Episode 17, and nothing sums up my feelings more succinctly.
We’re almost at the end, and despite this being the weakest season to date, it’s still bittersweet.
Look, nothing against anyone on the Jane the Virgin team.
Putting together a final season is a tall order, and appeasing everyone is nearly impossible.
We’re always going to have a bone to pick with something. That’s just life.
Nevertheless, I’m enjoying this strange ride for what it is and soaking up these last moments with the Gloriana Villaneuva family.
The realistic moments of the episode were really great, but the moments that leaned heavily into telenovela territory fell short.
Rose’s masterplan was revealed and to be honest, it was lame and non-existent.
Everything she’s ever done was motivated by her love for Luisa.
She broke out of jail and created an army of minions in order to be with her one true love.
If Luisa hadn’t betrayed Rose, Rose wouldn’t have had any motive to come after Jane.
Rose has been an elusive and terrifying villain all these years, but she just felt like a run-of-the-mill villain when she ambushed Jane.
Yes, I was a nervous wreck the entire time, but only because I expected Rose to already have people at Mateo’s school waiting for him or something.
Did anyone even know where Mateo was at the time? And why did no one come to check in on Jane?
Then, Rose’s grand plan was to sneak into the This Is Mars party essentially wearing alien costumes from Spirit Halloween.
What happened to the plastic surgery genius who could change her appearance at the snap of her fingers?
The one who befriended Michael as Susanna and faked his whole death?
We needed that Rose to come out and play.
Read the full review at TV Fanatic!
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