Matthew Perry sat down for a very personal interview with Diane Sawyer on Friday, Oct. 28, ahead of the release of his memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir, which will be available for purchase on Nov. 1.

As the duo discussed excerpts from the book, Perry opened up about in heartbreaking detail about his battle with addiction, both in pill form and alcohol, which was the cause of near-brush with death. 

Nothing was off limits as the man who made Chandler Bing a fan-favorite character reflected on his struggles, traumas, insecurities, the tough road to recovery, and being on the other side.

While he admitted that it isn’t easy to talk about the hold addiction has had on his life, nor is it something he likes to do, he knows it’s important because it could help others who are suffering.

In fact, he clarifies that the next part of his journey is being there for others because he’s been there; he knows how hard each day is and he has a lot of experience dealing with all of the ups and downs. 

We’re breaking down some of the other shocking and critical moments from the interview:

Where It All Started

Perry pinpoints an accident while he was filming Fool’s Rush In alongside Salma Hayek in 1997 as the start of his pill addiction. It’s when he got his first Vicodin and liked how it felt. He hoped it could help curb the drinking while also taming the fear and self-doubt, but before he knew it, it took over with a “vengeance,” he explained. As his body built up a tolerance, he took more pills to stave off the “absolutely terrible” symptoms of withdrawal. Eventually, he ended up taking 55 Vicodin a day. 

He Would Raid Medicine Cabinets at Open Houses

Obtaining 55 Vicodin pills a day is not an easy feat. When asked how he would go about getting them, Perry bluntly stated that he had no choice as he would wake up every day knowing that if he didn’t get them, he would be really sick. And trying to avoid withdrawal symptoms motivated him to do whatever was necessary to score, including visiting multiple doctors and faking back injuries and headaches. He copped to getting MRIs done knowing well that there was nothing wrong with him in that sense. 

But the revelation that made jaws drop was that he would go to open houses to see what pills people had in their medicine cabinets and steal them. And he hid behind the fame noting that people would never assume “Chandler came in and stole from them.”

How It Affected His Co-Stars

The cast of Friends was aware of his struggles and they were very worried about him, but they didn’t exactly know how to help. They all wanted to “help their friend in a giant battle” and wondered if there was a “right” thing that they should’ve done. Jennifer Aniston, who played Rachel on the hit sitcom, even told Sawyer in a 2004 interview when his struggle became public that the cast was not “equipped to deal with it” as no one had ever experienced or dealt with it before. 

Chandler Is Affected by Perry’s Battle

While it wasn’t overly evident to fans at the time, Perry’s character underwent a lot of changes throughout the sitcom’s 10-year-run, with the actor noting that fans could gauge his weight to track the trajectory of his addiction. When he was skinny, it was pills, when he was a little heavier, it was alcohol. 

Perry agreed to watch a scene alongside Sawyer during which he was “painfully thin,” and he was visibly alarmed by it, simply stating that he “felt sorry for that guy” who was “out of control” and didn’t “know what was going on with him.”

He added that he’s “grateful not to be that anymore.”

He also acknowledged another scene, the one where Chandler and Monica get married, adding that he could watch it over and over again because he looked good and was sober. He also noted how strange it was to film that season with Chandler experiencing marriage and children while in real life, Perry was being brought to set from a rehab facility. 

He’s Not Giving Up on Love

Perry dated a lot of wonderful and incredible women throughout his life, but even when the relationships were going well, he would self-sabotage because of his own insecurities. At 53, he still has hopes of finding love and starting a family. He also explained he’s much more secure with himself, fully knowing that while it’s great to make women laugh—it brings him light—he doesn’t have to do it or prove himself to anyone.

He Almost Died

Years of various drugs and copious amounts of alcohol led to a paralyzed digestive system in 2018. He was rushed to the hospital as his colon exploded. He was on life support, put on an ECMO machine, which he explained was a “hail mary,” and in a coma for 14 days. He recalls there being 5 people on ECMO at the same time in the hospital, and he was the only one that survived despite his chances being a mere 2%.

Perry explains he “escaped death narrowly,” which was also a wake-up call. As he was surrounded by his loved ones and family, he was determined to get better. 

He also revealed his spirituality, crediting a “strange golden light” with saving his life and informing him that he’s “accepted, loved and that it will be ok.”

How Will We Know If He’s Not Okay?

Sawyer asked the important question, which stumped Perry for a moment before he explained that if he ever states, “I’m just gonna chill at home tonight,” it’s a red flag. If he ever says that he’s “cured,” it’s a cry for help.

“And spume,” he joked, which got Sawyer laughing. 

She noted they could’ve had a “historic ending,” but Perry informed her “that’s not me.”

And he’s still the Chandler Bing we’ve all come to love… but now with a moving and empowering tale of hard-earned sobriety. 

We’re all rooting for you, Perry! You always got us.

If you or someone you care about is struggling with substance use disorder, confidential, free help is available at FindTreatment.gov. Or call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 800-662-HELP (4357). Or for immediate help in a crisis situation call or text The National Crisis Lifeline at 988.