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Orange Is The New Black

OITNB: Thirsty Bird (02 x 01)

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HALLELUJAH! ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IS BACK!

piperplane

Piper’s in the SHU. Surprise, surprise, right? After that Christmas beat-down Season One left us with, we can only assume Pipes is in some trouble. But how much? Did she kill Doggett before Doggett killed her? Having no idea what she’s done, Piper is dragged out of the hole by some guard and put on a bus, which takes her and some other inmates to a plane.

Cue the Piper tears. We all knew it was coming. It’s only a matter of time until Piper breaks down and cries it out like the basic bitch she is. Her seat mate on the plane, Lolly, must hate her life having Miss Emotional next to her.

“She was relentless,” Piper says. “I mean just crazy; so, so crazy, and I completely lost it. I went to that dark place that place that let me just keep on hitting her, and hitting her, and hitting her… I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop.”

When the plan lands in Chicago, Piper still has no idea why she’s been transferred, but in typical Piper style she brings drama to her new home. The moment she walks into her new room, she squishes the one thing the roommates care about the most, Yoda, the pet cockroach. Gross, right? Yoda was trained to bring cigarettes and other small contraband into the room unsuspected.

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Then to make it worse, Piper finds Alex, who fills her in on why they’re both in the city. Alex reveals that they’re both there to testify against Kubra, Alex’s former cartel boss. Alright, Alex, what makes you think testifying is going to do any good? Obviously it didn’t work if both Piper and you took the fall to begin with. Eye roll.

On their way to court, Alex pleads with Piper to lie and say she never knew Kubra. Lie for Alex? Sure, why not? God Piper, you can be so stupid! She lies. She covers for Kubra during interrogation and what do you know, it ends up being the wrong choice. Yup, Alex told the truth! While Piper is sitting in a holding cell, she sees Alex being led out in normal clothes. What the hell Alex?! Does love mean nothing to you? Piper’s pissed and I hope the anger spills over all of Season Two.

Are you #TeamAlex or #TeamPiper? Keep the conversation going @brittanydebaltz!

 

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Coffee Table News

This Week in the Lives of TV Stars

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When you’re a TV star, things are constantly changing. Here are the main stories, we think you should know about!

  • Things are moving fast with Lea Michele and her boyfriend, Mathew Paetz. They’ve only been dating since June, but US Weekly reports that he’s already moved into her home. He was spotted moving in over the weekend, unpacking his U-Haul truck! It’s good to see Michele happy and moving on. 
  • A Switched at Birth wedding! Katie Leclerc wed fiancé Brian Stuart Habecost in a romantic ceremony on Saturday. The duo said ‘I do’at Colony 29 in Palm Springs. Most of her TV co-stars and family, including TV dad Gilles Marini, were on hand to celebrate the event. 
  • And speaking of weddings, Ashley Tisdale got married this weekend as well. The Young and Hungry producer secretly wed fiancé Christopher French. She confirmed the ordeal on Instagram writing, “Best day of my life! Introducing Mr. and Mrs. French Sept.8, 2014” with a snapshot from the wedding.

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Photo: Ashley Tisdale Instagram

The couple got engaged last August on the 103rd floor of the Empire State Building. They met in 2012 via mutual friends. BFF and High School Musical co-star Vanessa Hudgens was one of Tisdale’s six bridesmaids, all of whom wore complementing gowns in various shades of pink, lavender and nude. There were about 100 guests gathered at the private estate for the ceremony, including other HSM stars. 

ashley tisd

 

Photo Credit: Ashley Tisdale Instagram

  • Grey is the New Black! Dascha Polanco, who plays Dayarana Diaz on the Netflix show Orange is the New Black, debuted a grey hairstyle at Mercendez-Benz New York Fashion Week, Sept.7. Her new locks are actually… a wig! 

Photo Credit: Sons of Anarchy/FX

  • Charlie Hunnam can’t let 50 shades go… Can you blame him? Sons of Anarchy premiered yesterday, but the buzz is all about how Hunnam passed up the role of Christian Grey. Wait didn’t we already hear about this? Now, Hunnam is opening up about how the role gave him a mental breakdown. (Sidenote: I don’t think that’s the effect playing Mr. Grey is suppose to have on a person.)

When Hunnam took the role, he was currently playing three characters. “I was going to finish [filming] Sons at like 11 p.m. Friday night, get on the plane Saturday morning to Vancouver for Fifty, missing the whole first week of rehearsal and start shooting Monday morning,” Hunnam recalled. “And I was going to shoot that film, wrap that on the Wednesday and the following Monday I was going to start shooting Crimson Peak in Toronto. I just had like … frankly, something of a nervous breakdown,” he said.

Two months after being cast as Mr. Grey, Hunnam had to drop out of the massive production. “I just said, ‘I can’t … I can’t …. To fail on such a grand scale — because Fifty’s going to be massive, it’s going to be huge. I really didn’t want to fail on such a grand scale, and I just couldn’t transition from Jax Teller to Christian Grey in 48 hours. It’s painful because I loved the character and I wanted to do it. I’m also a man of my word.”

Well, as sad as it is, I think it’s safe to say Jamie Dornan did the character justice. Am I right?

 

There you have it, you’re scoop on all things celebrity! Comment and share your thoughts! 

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Orange Is The New Black

OITNB: Low Self-Esteem City (02 x 05)

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Head to Head

When the bathroom that the Latina’s use has shit literally coming out of the shower drains, they attempt to move into the Ghetto bathroom. Laughable, right? This starts a full out fight between both Vee and Mendoza’s girls now that they’re forced to share. How long will that last before someone gets hurt?

Shoutout to Fig for being a complete bitch. She refused to fix the Latina’s showers. Yes, go ahead and cue Shower by Becky G. Sorry, Latina’s, but it doesn’t look like you’ll be dancing in the mirror or singing in the showers anytime soon. Instead of fixing the showers, Fig decided to cap shower times to 30 seconds.

The tension between the two groups continued to get worse and finally forced Mendoza and Vee to come up with a plan to put out the fire. It’s a shame that Vee completely screwed Mendoza over, but I guess we’ll see more of that in the next episode. Mendoza doesn’t seem a stranger to being screwed over though. In flashbacks, we learned why the “witch doctor” was in Litchfield to begin with. She was committing fraud with food stamps in the store she owned to put money away to get away from her abusive boyfriend. Can you blame her?

Deathbed

Back in Piper World, we saw a sad Piper. Poor Pipe just didn’t understand why her father wasn’t visiting her. Was it because she’s in prison? That he doesn’t want to see her like that? Or could it be something else? Well leave it to her brother Cal to spill the beans. Grandmother is dying. What does Piper decide to do about the devastating news? Ask for furlough. No one ever gets furlough.

Fishing for Fischer

Nicky and Boo just won’t let up. Granted they don’t really have anything else as sport to do in prison, but their game was getting out of hand. Nicky was after Fischer. Poor Fischer didn’t even know what hit her. Kudos to you Fischer! Finally someone turned Nicky down.

 

Will Piper get furlough to see her grandmother or will it be too late? Keep the conversation going at @craveyoutv!

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New Girl

OITNB: A Whole Other Hole (02 x 04)

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Selfish is how you survive. 

I don’t know about you, but for some time I’ve been wondering why Lorna was in prison. This episode finally gave us the background we’ve been craving for. Haha, craving, see what I did there?

Last episode we found that Christopher was getting married and it was NOT to Lorna. Since Lorna has some freedom as van driver, we watch her sneak over to Christopher’s house during Rosa’s chemo session. As she breaks in and walks around, we find that Christopher is perfectly blissful with his soon-to-be-wife Angela. In fact, Christopher never had anything with Lorna. They went on one date and when it didn’t work out, she stalked him. It got scary when Lorna made a homemade bomb and put it under Angela’s car. Poor Lorna or poor Christopher?

Back in Litchfield, the women are finally figuring their anatomy.  After Poussey invents the Stand and Deliver, it comes to light that most of the women are clueless to what is happening down there. But leave it to Sophie, who designed her own for her surgery, to draw up a map and explain it all.

Now that Piper is back, it was just a matter of time until her got her room assignment. Who’s her new roomie, you ask? You’ve guessed it. Red. That poor woman can’t catch a break. First she loses the kitchen and now she’s stuck with all the prison drama in the bed next to her. When Red complains to Caputo, she’s insulted. Insult Red and get away with it? Ha. Poor Caputo doesn’t know what he’s in for now that Red is on the outs. After a walk around the grounds, she finds the abandoned greenhouse with a storm drain to the outside world. She successfully manipulates Caputo into letting the Golden Girls start a gardening program. What will she do with the storm drain? Will she escape?

Let me be the first to say, I cannot stand Vee. She is a complete snake in Litchfield. Yet Taystee takes everything she says as gold. I sincerely hope that Red takes her out.

Last, but not least, we have Larry. What is our attention whore up to now? Oh you know just flirting it up with Piper’s best friend, Polly. He’s spending way too much time with Polly and eating up the attention he gets with her, but problem, Polly is enjoying it. Will they have an affair will Pete is up in Antarctica cuddling penguins? How will they explain that one to Piper?

What are your thoughts? Keep the conversation going on Twitter at @craveyoutv or directly at @brittanydebaltz!

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