Be still my heart. There was a total of three breakups on tonight’s episode.
We’ll start with the most devastating one: Choni.
Cheryl and Toni’s relationship was intense and fueled by passion from start to possible finish. Or at least I think it’s finished.
Things between the ladies have been tense ever since Toni assumed control of the Pretty Poisons.
Cheryl tried to smooth it over by doing what she does best, lavishing her loved one with gifts, or a spring break trip to Quebec to be more exact, but Toni once again chose her girl gang over her girlfriend.
Cheryl has been making an effort to patch up the weirdness between them, but when she saw Toni singing “Call Your Girlfriend” with Ronnie at the speakeasy — don’t you think it would have been better if they sang “Break Up With Your Girlfriend, Cause I’m Bored”? — she took extreme measures.
Toni caught onto her girlfriend’s attempt at getting her attention and fell for it.
But the making up seemed like the last hurrah before breaking up. After getting down, dirty and blindfolded on the pool table, Cheryl and Toni faced the issue at the core of their relationship: things were moving too fast.
Toni admitted that maybe they decided to move in together too quickly, and Cheryl agreed that Toni moving out may be the best solution.
That definitely seems like a break up to me.
I’m not surprised Toni is feeling like she doesn’t have her own space at Thistlehouse.
Cheryl is a very domineering person and though she doesn’t realize it, it’s very easy for someone to get gobbled up in her world. Almost instantaneously, the two became inseparable and almost meshed into one person.
At times, it was almost unhealthy which is why it became so toxic so quickly.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Choni, but I do think time apart will do them both some good.
Cheryl then funneled all her rage and frustration into the upcoming school musical.
Despite The Farm’s insistence that they do Godspeed, Cheryl was feeling Heather’s more, not to mention she was already playing croquet.
Considering how confrontational Kevin was with Betty on last week’s Riverdale, it was shocking to see him get bulldozed by Cheryl again.
I thought The Farm ran things around here, but it just goes to show how powerful Cheryl’s reach really is.
Up next in the breakup department: Ronnie and Reggie.
Reggie wanted his efforts at La Bonne Nuit recognized which is fair, but it also seems like it came out of left field.
I’ll agree that he’s sacrificed a lot for Ronnie and her business, but I don’t think she’s ever treated him unfairly or been ungrateful for his loyalty.
Wanting to be cut in as a business partner is a tall ask. He should have been content with simply getting way more than minimum wage because hello, you’re a high school student who didn’t have much going for him.
Also, didn’t it seem like Reggie was getting a thrill out of working alongside Ronnie?
She may have come off as the ultimate B, but I’m all here for a woman who isn’t interested in sharing a piece of her pie with a man just because his ego has been bruised slightly.
Reggie proved that he doesn’t have the savviness to be an equal partner when he attempted to steal his car back from Gladys.
Bruh, this is a small town. I’m pretty sure she would have figured it out at some point but alas, he was caught red-handed.
His little stunt only intensified the tension between Ronnie and Gladys.
In the end, Ronnie got Reggie his car back but cut ties with him professionally and personally.
“We don’t owe each other anything.” Boss move.
I really hope that car was worth it, Reggie.
And the third couple to go down the train was FP and Alice.
This one really stung because man, FP and Alice were the high school sweetheart who finally had their moment.
Alice’s mystery home buyer turned out to be Gladys Jones, who was trying to right her wrongs with the family.
Her approach was rather aggressive; she didn’t ease into the idea of having them all move in together and getting back together with FP, she just full on committed to it.
Jughead was weary, and he had every right to be because a woman who ditched her family and then came back pretending like nothing ever happened, should never be trusted.
FP’s guard wasn’t as high up though partly because he was feeling so blessed on his 50th (!) birthday.
Gladys is a mastermind. She knew the right moment to move back into FP’s life was when he was feeling sentimental.
Seeing his family back together and finally on the right side of town made FP break things off with Alice who was hurt by his decision.
“That’s the mother of my child,” FP told her as if that had anything to do with being a good and necessary parent.
Truthfully, I’m a little disappointed with FP for having his blinders on and being so trustworthy. He, of all people, should know his wife the best.
My gut tells me it won’t be long before Alice returns to the fold because he’ll figure out Glady’s true motives soon enough.
Jughead can’t keep them a secret from his dad forever. He may have played it cool during his touching (I cried) birthday speech, but their relationship is too close for Jughead to keep this from his pops.
It was unfair of Gladys to put Jughead in such a predicament. This only proves that she doesn’t care about her son nearly as much as she’s letting on.
It’s especially upsetting to watch because having his family back together is all Jughead has ever wanted though this isn’t really what he had in mind.
How can a mother make her son feel responsible for his father’s potential breakdown? If she hadn’t gotten involved in shady things after he’d finally righted his wrongs they wouldn’t be in this mess.
Jughead believes he can save his sister, protect his father and run his mother out of town all at once, but he’s really underestimating his mother’s grip on Jelly Bean. As we’ve seen, she’s her mother’s daughter and in on this whole plan.
I also worry what happen to Alice now that she’s lost possibly the only link to her sanity. Losing FP will likely cause her to get even deeper with The Farm, and we know nothing good can come of it.
The best part of FP’s 50th birthday party was Fred Andrews showing up to give him a warm hug and welcome him to the neighborhood.
But hearing Luke Perry say “as I live and breathe” just didn’t sit right on the day of his alleged funeral.
Somebody should have cut that moment because it was just too soon.
Jughead wasn’t just dealing with his mother becoming the new Fizzle Rocks kingpin and his father’s celebration, he and Betty also teamed up to help Archie outsmart the Gryphons and Gargoyle’s players with the quest to ‘Kill the Red Paladin.’
Surprisingly, we got our first ever confession from Hiram Lodge who admitted to Archie that he was the one who orchestrated the attack on him and printed dozen’s of cards that marked him for death.
Archie was way calmer than I would have been in that situation.
Hiram’s confession sort of indirectly answered the “who is the Gargoyle King” mystery, if anyone even still cares about that.
This nerdy game’s purpose has been kind of muddled in all the mysterious narratives plaguing Riverdale.
Jughead and Betty drew in those who wanted to kill him by ammending the quest and using Archie’s boxing triumphs to his advantage.
Archie’s no stranger to messing up that pretty face of his so he took the hits like a man and came out the reigning champ.
Now, can we please put this Red Paladin storyline to rest once and for all?
Archie and Hiram’s truce remained in tact and as an apology, Hiram gifted the hole-in-the-wall boxing ring to him.
He specified the gift was “no strings attached,” but when has that ever been the case with Hiram?
Archie’s never going to shake him!
What did you think of tonight’s Riverdale episode, Cravers? Are you excited for another musical installment? Do you think anything can top the previous one?
Will Betty move in with Jughead? Will FP find out the truth about Gladys?
Fall TV Preview: Riverdale Season 4 Trailer Reveals Jughead is Missing
The Riverdale trailer for season 4 is equal parts sexy and mysterious (what the hell happened to Jughead?!)
The series creators promised the season would be more high-school oriented giving it a “season 1” vibe following a dark, twisted, and oftentimes, ridiculous (we still loved it) G&G/ The Farm storyline on season 3.
And while they’re making good on that promise — we see Cheryl and the like prancing around the halls of Riverdale High — the show still capitalizes on the darker undertones and secrets.
This is a town that thrives on murder, and that’s never going to change.
The teens grapple with a pretty daunting realization — they’re going to have to part ways after senior year.
“Isn’t it crazy? In just nine-months, life as we know it will be over,” Veronica (Camila Mendes) muses without realizing the statement is more ominous than she intended.
The trailer reveals that one favorite may not make it through their senior year alive as the whole town embarks on a search mission through the volatile woods of Riverdale.
Who are they looking for? Our very own Jughead Jones.
Fans expected a rocky season for Jug following the cliffhanger of season 3, which saw him missing as Betty, Veronica and Archie cleaned up the blood from their clothes, but this has us officially worried.
Later in the trailer, we hear Jughead’s screams as he begs for “help” and tries to break out of what sounds like a car trunk.
What happened to Jughead? And is his disappearance linked to whatever happened in the final episode?
Other major moments in the trailer include Betty getting clobbered over the head from behind by an unknown figure (she’s after the Farm so it could be Evelyn Evernever), crime scene photos that make Betty gasp “oh my god,” a scantily dressed Veronica performing some pussycat dolls-esque routine on stage as she assures that she’s “no stranger to scandal,” and a bunch of smokin’ sex scenes with our three favorite ships: Choni, Bughead, and Varchie.
Yep, sounds like senior year!
Not spotted in the video: Alice Cooper, who we found out is infiltrating The Farm, anyone from The Farm (Chad Michael Murray, where ya at?), Kevin, also with the damn Farm, and Betty’s real brother, Chic, who was introduced in the finale as an FBI agent working with Alice to take down The Farm.
Riverdale premies October 9th on The CW!
Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)
I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.
These writers, they’re good.
They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.
All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.
There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.
Who is the Gargoyle King?
After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.
The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?
Yes, the very same.
Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.
How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.
It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.
Was he always wearing his GK garb?
It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?
After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.
Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.
This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.
Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.
No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.
It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.
Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.
Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.
Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.
But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”
Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.
And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.
Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!
Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.
She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.
Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.
It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.
Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.
Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.
Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.
Unfortunately, it was too late.
Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”
Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.
Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!
The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.
Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.
And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!
Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.
Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.
Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.
“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.
Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.
And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.
I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”
Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.
Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.
Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.
Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.
Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.
Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?
And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?
Is he working with the Gargoyle King?
Other Riverdale Musings
- Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
- Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
- Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.
How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?
Is Jason really alive?
Sound off in the comments!
Riverdale – Jawbreaker (3×18)
Is Riverdale trying to convince us the cultish Farm isn’t all that bad?
Nah, they would never.
Betty may have returned her mom to Evelyn and Edgar Evernever, but she doesn’t buy into The Farm’s innocence or their good intentions.
Despite her best efforts to show her mother the truth that The Farm is brainwashing her, Betty simply realized that Alice isn’t ready to accept the truth. And even if she was, she doesn’t want that truth from Betty, who she referred to as “dark like her father” and “angry” on the Farm’s tapes.
Alice doesn’t paint Betty in the best light by saying she’s afraid of her daughter especially now that she pushed and physically threatened Evelyn. The trauma of losing Charles, not once but twice because of imposter Chick, and the realization that she was married to a cold-blooded killer has really done a number on Alice. She believed she was a lost cause, but found guidance in the Farm, a group that can apparently ‘heal’ and fulfills her in way that Betty apparently can’t.
Alice’s desire to erase the pain and mistakes of her past is understandable, but she’s also erasing everything that has made her the strong and independent woman she is today. Especially because she’s “engaged’ to Edgar. I doubt she’s actually in a romantic relationship with him, but making her believe that she shares something special and unique with Edgar ensures her loyalty and their stronghold over her. She’s going to become too reliant on The Farm and by the time she realizes it, it’ll be too late.
But don’t be mistaken – they still prey on emotionally unstable victims, which is exactly how Cheryl became a Farmie Queen B. I think Cheryl’s disillusion is the most frustrating to me because she was always the leader, but it makes sense if you see through the facade. Cheryl has kept up appearances and a brave face, but under that red lipstick is a world of pain and suffering. She never fully recovered from losing Jason or Clifford Blossom and her mother’s always been rather vile towards her. She’s broken by her past and much like with Alice, the Farm is taking advantage of that. Cheryl has also always wanted to ‘fit in’ somewhere which has been depicted by the plenty of cliques — her Vixens, Toni’s Pretty Poison’s and now, The Farm.
Understandably, Toni wasn’t happy with Cheryl’s involvement and tried to place the blame on Betty. But Betty was in the same boat with her mother and instead of fighting, the two ended up working together to save their loved ones. Betty’s been trying to find the perfect person to infiltrate The Farm, but Toni is the most unsuspecting because she’s loyal to Cheryl. Almost to a fault.
Evelyn and Edgar, beware.
Since there’s no cracking the exterior of The Farm and digging up their secrets, Toni has a tall order ahead of her to bring them down from the inside. One major hold that The Farm has over Alice and Cheryl is that they give them the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. Since Betty isn’t wooed by their false promises, they aren’t afraid to be transparent with her.
Edgar admitted that Cheryl and Alice don’t actually see the dead, but rather, a hallucination that allows them to heal. Evelyn has also made it clear that they’ve made copies of the tapes in case they have to blackmail them. They blatantly admit to being just as manipulative and shady as Betty calls them out to be, yet still attempted to hold themselves in a high regard when Edgar was explaining the origins of The Farm. Apparently, he’s always wanted to help people and using their deepest, darkest secrets against them if one way to do it.
However, The Farm may be the least of Riverdale’s worries with the rise of the new Gargoyle King. Baby Teeth’s gruesome murder (they pulled out his TEETH!) was just the first step in the Gargoyle King’s plan according to Kurtz. Jughead and FP joined forces to stop the GK once and for all, but they may be in way over their heads.
Not only does the GK have a dedicated following, but he’s also dishing out tainted Fizzle Rocks, and has his sights set on Jellybean Jones. The moment I saw her playing the game with Ricky, Joaquin’s brother who tried to kill Archie, I knew it was bad news. Why does the Gargoyle King want with Jellybean? Why does he want to meet her? And who is the Gargoyle King now?
The Fizzle Rocks Kurtz was dealing was laced with something reminiscent of bath salts, causing people to foam at the mouth and become dangerously violent. Great, just what Riverdale needed. Given that Jughead’s mother, Gladys, is the drug kingpin in Riverdale, I’m surprised Jughead remained loyal and protected her secret instead of outing her to FP. Why is he protecting her? Wouldn’t FP knowing that Gladys may be the source of their problems help them stop it? Once FP finds out Jughead knew more than he was letting on, he’s going to be furious.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kurtz was slanging tainted stuff, working for the GK, and made Jellybean a target. Could it be that Gladys is the new Gargoyle King also?
The Gryphons and Gargoyle’s storyline has dragged on for most of the season infiltrating almost every plotline, yet, I don’t see the point anymore nor does there seem to be a resolution. What started off as something so promising in terms of storytelling has fallen flat and become a thorn for not only the audience but the characters.
The tainted Fizzle Rocks aren’t just a problem on the streets, they’ve even made their way into Elio’s elite boxing match. Elio is the scummiest of characters because he has no honor; he’ll do anything to win, but he doesn’t even play the game well. Archie scored a rematch with Ronson after Ronnie promised to help him get his boys into Elio’s elite match.
Elio allowed Ronson to fight Archie but only because he saw it as an opportunity to get back at Ronnie and get rid of Archie by doping up Ronson with the tainted drugs. Mad Dog tried to warn Archie that Ronson was taking something that put him in full rage mode, but even with that fear, Archie fought and won with honor. He’s never been one to cave to temptation or cheat to win, and that’s what I respect about Archie most of all.
Admittedly, I did expect Archie to either end up in the hospital or call the fight. I have no doubt he’s a skilled boxer with professional technique, but I don’t think he’d be able to beat someone hyped up on angry pills.
Archie’s good at a lot of things, but he’s exceptionally good at making himself a target. Only recently was he cleared of the Red Paladin burden, but it seems like Elio is going to want some revenge. Riverdale seems to be a bit confused about which relationships it wants to nurture.
Is anyone else slightly concerned that Ronnie and Archie are once again “Bonnie & Clyde-ing” it up? She not only helped him with his boxing studio, she even gave him a Pops sponsored robe and cheered him on from the sidelines. The lines between professional and personal will blur quickly — they almost kissed after working together for a few hours!
Josie and Archie just got together and he was so into making things work despite their circumstances, but this week, it almost seemed like Josie didn’t exist. And despite Archie’s relationship with Josie, it seems like he’s still harnessing some feelings for his ex. Even Josie picked up on it and noticed Veronica was way too invested in Archie and his match.
Will Archie and Ronnie get back together? And is it a good idea? Archie deserves better unless Veronica has done away with her blind loyalty to Hiram Lodge. Remember, that’s what almost got Archie killed last time.
Week to week, Riverdale remains entertaining, but when I look back at the season, I feel like we’re constantly rehashing the same Gargoyle King, Farm and Fizzle Rocks storyline without any real outcome. There better be some major resolution and revalations by the time the season finale airs.
What do you think, Cravers?
Will Toni and Betty find a way to take down The Farm?
Will Jughead and FP save Jellybean?
Will Archie stop being the most hated person in Riverdale?
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