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Riverdale

Riverdale – Bizarrodale (3×12)

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There is absolutely no better word to describe Riverdale than bizarrodale.

In all honesty, I’m pretty confused as to the purpose of this whole Gargoyle King and/or Gryphons and Gargoyles storyline.

Initially, the storyline seemed promising, but much like the Black Hood, the reveals of the Gargoyle King — there have been two thus far — have been mediocre.

Tall Boy was a fake-out, but the second Gargoyle King ended up being Mason, Moose’s in-the-closet father who had a crush on Tommy?

Seriously. We’ve only seen Mason like two times this whole season.

This means there are iterations of the Gargoyle King to take care of personal business, but the main GK is still to be discovered. Like FP said, it’s like playing whack-a-mole until we finally encounter the real one.

Truthfully, I don’t even care who the real Gargoyle King is because does it even matter?

We’re supposed to believe that Mason wanted to date Tommy, went to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy for gay conversion therapy, thought the GK made him straight again only to express jealousy upon finding out that his son, a gay man, was dating Tommy’s gay son?

It’s a mouthful, I know.

Two things immediately stick out to me that make me question the validity of this story. For starters, when did the Sisters start having male students? Second off, if Mason met the Gargoyle King, it stands to reason that Fizzle Rocks were definitely around back then.

And, on top of that, we’re supposed to believe Mason was crafty enough to reunite the Midnight Club for another rendezvous?

I’m not buying it. I think this storyline was slapped together and the last minute and it’s falling apart in fact-checking.

After all that Kevin has been through, can’t he just find a significant other that can openly be with him without dying or almost being killed by his own dad?

Though, I will admit the scene where all the parents realized the Ascension Night was just a facade to target their children was really brilliant.

A lot of people are having sex in Riverdale, you guys. These teen hormones are outrageous. I wonder what’s in the water in Riverdale aside from Fizzle Rocks runoff.

Cheryl had a few questionable moments this week as she purposefully outed Moose thinking she was doing the right thing.

I’m really happy that the writers immediately addressed that Cheryl hijacking his coming out was not okay.

It’s a deeply personal decision and definitely not one someone should be pressured into.

Riverdale also did a good job at addressing the dangers of being outed to parents that aren’t fully supportive.

Cheryl of all people should know what it’s like dealing with a parent who doesn’t support her sexuality. It was a bit strange after Penelope tried to sabotage her entrance interview into college that Cheryl would still think outing someone would be a good idea.

Or that Toni would suggest that Cheryl knows nothing about dealing with unsupportive family members.

By the end of the episode, Cheryl had successfully blackmailed her mother, won her way back into the college of her choice, and even scored Toni an interview.

Yes, queens.

And as a make good, she even formed a new gang for Toni called the Pretty Poison.

I don’t know if Riverdale really needs any more gangs, but it can’t hurt to have a girl gang around, can it?

Also, how hilarious is it that Penelope believes Cheryl is an abomination but doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with owning a brothel?

There was a significant focus on secondary characters which was appreciated since audiences are always complaining that Kevin and Josie don’t get nearly enough screentime.

Josie’s music aspirations were at the forefront as she prepared for an audition at Julliard.

Archie found Josie crying about how she wouldn’t be able to get to the audition because Sweet Pea wouldn’t take her since they officially broke up.

I knew they hooked up at that one summer party, but who knew they were actually together?

Or that Sweet Pea was so sensitive and couldn’t do this whole back and forth thing with Josie? The moment seemed so ill-fitting and was probably only included to pair Josie with Archie with irritates me. Sweet Pea is above being a plot device.

Archie, owing Josie a favor after she helped sober him up and get him on the right track, offered to give her a ride.

Sadly, Josie’s pipes didn’t make the cut, but they were good enough to jam out with Archie.

That eventually led to a kiss which we all knew was coming and bam — Riverdale’s newest couple is here.

Or is it? Ashley Murray (who plays Josie) just signed onto The CW’s new Riverdale spin-off, Katy Keene. Does that mean her romance with Archie is short-lived?

I’ve expressed my concerns about Archie corrupting sweet little Josie, but now I’m more terrified of how Veronica will react.

Sure, she’s doing her thing with Reggie, but will she be okay with her ex and her friend hooking up?

In reality, I think Ronnie has bigger fish to fry than who Archie’s sleeping with as she unintentionally got involved in her family business.

After burning the Fizzle Rocks factory, Hermione forced Ronnie and Reggie to pay back all the money.

For someone who is loaded, Veronica had a really difficult time coming up with the cash. I don’t know if it’s because she’s with Reggie, but recently, her plans just haven’t made all that much sense.

How did they not consider that the money taken from a bank would be doused in exploding ink? Or that the security guard would have a gun? Amateurs.

Though their Bonnie & Clyde dynamic is a welcome change from her Romeo & Juliet relationship with Archie caused by her father.

And the dangerous kingpin? None other than Mama Jughead.

Yep, it seems Gladys is back in town and she just singlehandedly stole the game from everyone.

The Lodges are indebted to her, Veronica and Reggie are working for her, FP is Sheriff and Jughead has control of the Serpents.

And the most dangerous aspect is that FP and Jughead don’t expect a thing.

I am honestly so disappointed that Jelly Bean is playing her father and brother like that.

I also cannot wait until Gladys and Alice finally come face-to-face.

And speaking of Alice, will we ever find out what’s going on with The Farm? The storyline seems to be abandoned unless they have something to do with the game and the Gargoyle King.

Turning it over to you, Riverdale Cravers.

Are Josie and Archie going to be serious? What does Gladys want from Riverdale? Are Hermione and Hiram still aligned? How will Kevin mend his broken heart?

Oh, and congrats Sierra and Tommy. Those two lovebirds finally tied the knot, even if it did piss off half the town!

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Fall TV Preview: Riverdale Season 4 Trailer Reveals Jughead is Missing

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The Riverdale Season 4 Trailer is Here & Jughead is Missing

The Riverdale trailer for season 4 is equal parts sexy and mysterious (what the hell happened to Jughead?!)

The series creators promised the season would be more high-school oriented giving it a “season 1” vibe following a dark, twisted, and oftentimes, ridiculous (we still loved it) G&G/ The Farm storyline on season 3.

And while they’re making good on that promise — we see Cheryl and the like prancing around the halls of Riverdale High — the show still capitalizes on the darker undertones and secrets.

This is a town that thrives on murder, and that’s never going to change.

The teens grapple with a pretty daunting realization — they’re going to have to part ways after senior year.

“Isn’t it crazy? In just nine-months, life as we know it will be over,” Veronica (Camila Mendes) muses without realizing the statement is more ominous than she intended.

The trailer reveals that one favorite may not make it through their senior year alive as the whole town embarks on a search mission through the volatile woods of Riverdale.

Who are they looking for? Our very own Jughead Jones.

Fans expected a rocky season for Jug following the cliffhanger of season 3, which saw him missing as Betty, Veronica and Archie cleaned up the blood from their clothes, but this has us officially worried.

Later in the trailer, we hear Jughead’s screams as he begs for “help” and tries to break out of what sounds like a car trunk.

What happened to Jughead? And is his disappearance linked to whatever happened in the final episode?

Other major moments in the trailer include Betty getting clobbered over the head from behind by an unknown figure (she’s after the Farm so it could be Evelyn Evernever), crime scene photos that make Betty gasp “oh my god,” a scantily dressed Veronica performing some pussycat dolls-esque routine on stage as she assures that she’s “no stranger to scandal,” and a bunch of smokin’ sex scenes with our three favorite ships: Choni, Bughead, and Varchie.

Yep, sounds like senior year!

Not spotted in the video: Alice Cooper, who we found out is infiltrating The Farm, anyone from The Farm (Chad Michael Murray, where ya at?), Kevin, also with the damn Farm, and Betty’s real brother, Chic, who was introduced in the finale as an FBI agent working with Alice to take down The Farm.

Riverdale premies October 9th on The CW!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)

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riverdale the dark secret of harvest house Review

I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.

These writers, they’re good.

They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.

All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.

There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.

Who is the Gargoyle King?

After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.

Come again?

The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?

Yes, the very same.

Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.

How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.

It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.

Was he always wearing his GK garb?

It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?

After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.

Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.

This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.

Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.

No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.

It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.

Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.

Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.

Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.

But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”

Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.

And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.

Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!

Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.

She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.

Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.

It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.

Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.

Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.

Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”

Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.

Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!

The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.

Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.

And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!

Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.

Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.

Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.

“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.

Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.

And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.

I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”

Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.

Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.

Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.

Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.

Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.

Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?

And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?

Is he working with the Gargoyle King?

Other Riverdale Musings

  • Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
  • Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
  • Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.

How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?

Is Jason really alive?

Sound off in the comments!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Jawbreaker (3×18)

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Riverdale Jawbreaker Review

Is Riverdale trying to convince us the cultish Farm isn’t all that bad?

Nah, they would never.

Betty may have returned her mom to Evelyn and Edgar Evernever, but she doesn’t buy into The Farm’s innocence or their good intentions.

Despite her best efforts to show her mother the truth that The Farm is brainwashing her, Betty simply realized that Alice isn’t ready to accept the truth. And even if she was, she doesn’t want that truth from Betty, who she referred to as “dark like her father” and “angry” on the Farm’s tapes.

Alice doesn’t paint Betty in the best light by saying she’s afraid of her daughter especially now that she pushed and physically threatened Evelyn. The trauma of losing Charles, not once but twice because of imposter Chick, and the realization that she was married to a cold-blooded killer has really done a number on Alice. She believed she was a lost cause, but found guidance in the Farm, a group that can apparently ‘heal’ and fulfills her in way that Betty apparently can’t.

Alice’s desire to erase the pain and mistakes of her past is understandable, but she’s also erasing everything that has made her the strong and independent woman she is today. Especially because she’s “engaged’ to Edgar. I doubt she’s actually in a romantic relationship with him, but making her believe that she shares something special and unique with Edgar ensures her loyalty and their stronghold over her. She’s going to become too reliant on The Farm and by the time she realizes it, it’ll be too late.

But don’t be mistaken – they still prey on emotionally unstable victims, which is exactly how Cheryl became a Farmie Queen B. I think Cheryl’s disillusion is the most frustrating to me because she was always the leader, but it makes sense if you see through the facade. Cheryl has kept up appearances and a brave face, but under that red lipstick is a world of pain and suffering. She never fully recovered from losing Jason or Clifford Blossom and her mother’s always been rather vile towards her. She’s broken by her past and much like with Alice, the Farm is taking advantage of that. Cheryl has also always wanted to ‘fit in’ somewhere which has been depicted by the plenty of cliques — her Vixens, Toni’s Pretty Poison’s and now, The Farm.

Understandably, Toni wasn’t happy with Cheryl’s involvement and tried to place the blame on Betty. But Betty was in the same boat with her mother and instead of fighting, the two ended up working together to save their loved ones. Betty’s been trying to find the perfect person to infiltrate The Farm, but Toni is the most unsuspecting because she’s loyal to Cheryl. Almost to a fault.

Evelyn and Edgar, beware.

Since there’s no cracking the exterior of The Farm and digging up their secrets, Toni has a tall order ahead of her to bring them down from the inside. One major hold that The Farm has over Alice and Cheryl is that they give them the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. Since Betty isn’t wooed by their false promises, they aren’t afraid to be transparent with her.

Edgar admitted that Cheryl and Alice don’t actually see the dead, but rather, a hallucination that allows them to heal. Evelyn has also made it clear that they’ve made copies of the tapes in case they have to blackmail them. They blatantly admit to being just as manipulative and shady as Betty calls them out to be, yet still attempted to hold themselves in a high regard when Edgar was explaining the origins of The Farm. Apparently, he’s always wanted to help people and using their deepest, darkest secrets against them if one way to do it.

However, The Farm may be the least of Riverdale’s worries with the rise of the new Gargoyle King. Baby Teeth’s gruesome murder (they pulled out his TEETH!) was just the first step in the Gargoyle King’s plan according to Kurtz. Jughead and FP joined forces to stop the GK once and for all, but they may be in way over their heads. 

Not only does the GK have a dedicated following, but he’s also dishing out tainted Fizzle Rocks, and has his sights set on Jellybean Jones. The moment I saw her playing the game with Ricky, Joaquin’s brother who tried to kill Archie, I knew it was bad news. Why does the Gargoyle King want with Jellybean? Why does he want to meet her? And who is the Gargoyle King now?

The Fizzle Rocks Kurtz was dealing was laced with something reminiscent of bath salts, causing people to foam at the mouth and become dangerously violent. Great, just what Riverdale needed. Given that Jughead’s mother, Gladys, is the drug kingpin in Riverdale, I’m surprised Jughead remained loyal and protected her secret instead of outing her to FP. Why is he protecting her? Wouldn’t FP knowing that Gladys may be the source of their problems help them stop it? Once FP finds out Jughead knew more than he was letting on, he’s going to be furious.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kurtz was slanging tainted stuff, working for the GK, and made Jellybean a target. Could it be that Gladys is the new Gargoyle King also?

The Gryphons and Gargoyle’s storyline has dragged on for most of the season infiltrating almost every plotline, yet, I don’t see the point anymore nor does there seem to be a resolution. What started off as something so promising in terms of storytelling has fallen flat and become a thorn for not only the audience but the characters.

The tainted Fizzle Rocks aren’t just a problem on the streets, they’ve even made their way into Elio’s elite boxing match. Elio is the scummiest of characters because he has no honor; he’ll do anything to win, but he doesn’t even play the game well. Archie scored a rematch with Ronson after Ronnie promised to help him get his boys into Elio’s elite match.

Elio allowed Ronson to fight Archie but only because he saw it as an opportunity to get back at Ronnie and get rid of Archie by doping up Ronson with the tainted drugs. Mad Dog tried to warn Archie that Ronson was taking something that put him in full rage mode, but even with that fear, Archie fought and won with honor. He’s never been one to cave to temptation or cheat to win, and that’s what I respect about Archie most of all.

Admittedly, I did expect Archie to either end up in the hospital or call the fight. I have no doubt he’s a skilled boxer with professional technique, but I don’t think he’d be able to beat someone hyped up on angry pills.

Archie’s good at a lot of things, but he’s exceptionally good at making himself a target. Only recently was he cleared of the Red Paladin burden, but it seems like Elio is going to want some revenge. Riverdale seems to be a bit confused about which relationships it wants to nurture.

Is anyone else slightly concerned that Ronnie and Archie are once again “Bonnie & Clyde-ing” it up? She not only helped him with his boxing studio, she even gave him a Pops sponsored robe and cheered him on from the sidelines. The lines between professional and personal will blur quickly — they almost kissed after working together for a few hours!

Josie and Archie just got together and he was so into making things work despite their circumstances, but this week, it almost seemed like Josie didn’t exist. And despite Archie’s relationship with Josie, it seems like he’s still harnessing some feelings for his ex. Even Josie picked up on it and noticed Veronica was way too invested in Archie and his match.

Will Archie and Ronnie get back together? And is it a good idea? Archie deserves better unless Veronica has done away with her blind loyalty to Hiram Lodge. Remember, that’s what almost got Archie killed last time.

Week to week, Riverdale remains entertaining, but when I look back at the season, I feel like we’re constantly rehashing the same Gargoyle King, Farm and Fizzle Rocks storyline without any real outcome. There better be some major resolution and revalations by the time the season finale airs.

What do you think, Cravers?

Will Toni and Betty find a way to take down The Farm?

Will Jughead and FP save Jellybean?

Will Archie stop being the most hated person in Riverdale?

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