Riverdale is back and meets the level of craziness that we’ve come to expect.
Riverdale Season 5 Episode 11 picks up right after the prison break at Hiram’s jail, which makes things a bit difficult for the small-town residents.
If Riverdale was struggling to attract newcomers before, it’s even more difficult now that a group of criminals is running around mobbing people and holding the sheriff hostage.
The one thing that Hiram didn’t anticipate, however, is that his prisoners wouldn’t have any qualms about turning on him right after they broke out.
Ted, the guy Archie fearlessly fought in the bathroom while protecting Riverdale High, along with Darla and Dodge Dickenson, ambush Hiram for a cut of the palladium.
Or, at the very least, it seems like an ambush. I definitely wouldn’t put it past Hiram to stage this with the prisoners as part of his plan… whatever that is.
I’ve accepted that Hiram is a true villain in every sense of the word, but I’ve lost sight of his diabolical plans.
Ted and the DD’s (that’s what I’m calling them) call up Veronica in hopes that she’ll hand over the palladium in return for her father, Mayor Dooney (who surely regrets going into business with Hiram after all of this), and Sheriff Keller.
Obviously, these criminals seem have no clue that Ronnie and Hiram aren’t tight anymore, but since they do have Veronica’s expensive blue opal (which she planned to pawn in order to pay off her husband Chad and get a divorce so she could finally be with Archiekins again), she agrees to make the trade.
Thankfully, Ronnie has Reginald by her side, who has an inkling as to where the palladium may be. As the two team up for a split second, we learn that Reggie is working with Hiram to pay off his dad’s debts. Plus, the bad guys pay better. Fair enough.
Ronnie also enlists the help of Archie, Uncle Frank, Kevin, and Fangs, who use their manpower to rip out a safe from Hiram’s office and transport it to the El Royal where the trio is being held hostage.
And after everything, they know not to trust a criminal, so they cascade through the roof and take down Ted and the DD’s with some roundhouse kicks and uppercuts.
It’s a ridiculous scene made only more ridiculous with visions of Betty and Tabitha tripping on maple mushrooms and Cheryl joining her mother’s new money-making cult/church.
Yep, we’ve officially entered bizarro-land.
While Ronnie and the gang are teaming up to salvage whatever is left of Riverdale and the only sheriff in town, Tabitha turns to Betty when Jughead goes missing following a shroom-induced trip.
Last we saw, Jughead took drugs to write his next novel, and while he was struggling to distinguish reality from fiction, he broke out of his handcuffs and wandered off.
The search for Jughead, which my husband hilarious dubbed Drughead, unites three of his ex-girlfriends.
And you know that’s bound to be telling and eventful.
Tabitha and Betty seem to be on the same wavelength, but Jessica is on a different plane. She knows things about Jughead that honestly surprise Betty.
Her motivations for helping aren’t clear at first, but it’s obvious that she has a hidden agenda that goes beyond helping them locate Jug.
Eventually, we learn that she wants his manuscript as she was afraid he’d tarnish her name in his novels the way he did when he wrote about Betty.
I’m not entirely convinced that she wasn’t trying to steal the pages to pass off as her own, but I guess we’ll see.
Betty reluctantly handed over the pages after she and Tabitha were drugged by Jessica since, on some level, she understands what it’s like to be the target of Jughead’s rage.
In a brutally honest moment, we learn that Jughead called Betty when she skipped his release party and called her fake. It was extreme, and a side of Jughead we’ve never seen.
Then again, Jessica confirmed that it happened around the same time he put a lot of pressure on himself and spiraled into a dark place.
New York really messed up our boy. And whatever happened in New York is what convinced him to wander off during his high.
He can’t escape his past, nor can he make any sense of it, and it’s troubling him. His mind is holding him hostage.
I’m not sure what the plan is for Jughead this season, but it’s taking him to some dangerous places.
First, he ended up with an infection on Sketch Alley where he got the wind kicked out of him by some suits. It was initially unclear if this was part of Jughead’s story or if this was really happening.
Sometimes, I think the whole series is part of Jughead’s fictional writings.
He was also saved by a man named Doc, who Jughead recalled not helping when he was young. He felt really guilty about it and came to his defense when those same suits returned to beat him up.
Again, I’m not sure if this is going to factor into a bigger storyline, but it felt like a pretty random connection to his past.
Jughead realized that he couldn’t go home until he worked through his trauma, so he set his sights back on New York City.
Unfortunately, I worry that he’s never going to get there as he hitched a ride on the Lonely Highway with the same trucker that picked up poor Polly, who is still missing.
Look, Betty is only one person, and she can’t track down everyone!
Will her investigation into Polly lead her back to Jughead?
Cheryl’s storyline has always felt the most stagnant to me. It’s as if they have absolutely no idea what to do with her character, so they keep her cooped up at Thistle House.
Now, she’s joined by her deranged Mumsie, who escaped Hiram’s prison and found ministry as her Calling.
When Cheryl calls it out for the scam that it is, she explains that she finally realized her beloved Jason died for the sins of Riverdale.
Why can’t they let JJ just rest in peace?!
Cheryl was so against joining her mother on this new venture, yet that all changed without any explanation after they had a chat about believing in something greater.
And where is our girl Toni? I want to meet the baby!
And that concludes the wacky Riverdale season 5 midseason premiere.
What did you think? Are you excited about the Tabitha and Betty partnership? Is Jughead in danger?
Will Hiram ever be stopped? At least we’re getting his villain origin story!
Sound off with your thoughts in the comments below!
Riverdale Review – Dance of Death (5×17)
The mystery of the Mothmen finally came to an end, along with the mystery of what happened to Polly Cooper.
Jughead, Betty, and Tabitha closed in on the truth on Riverdale Season 5 Episode 17 as another young girl named Britta went missing while Lynette Fields aka Squeaky was confirmed dead.
Is anyone else a bit bummed that the Squeaky mystery didn’t have too much meat to it?
The Mothmen mystery also wasn’t supernatural in the slightest, which isn’t exactly shocking when it comes to Riverdale.
The series always hints at the supernatural before elaborating on a story of serial killers.
In this case, the serial killers picked up women on the Lonely Highway because they enjoyed the hunt.
When compared to all the previous mysteries, this one was definitely the weakest.
Jughead’s former student, the sleepwalker who turned up after a week, is the one who clued them into the location of the Mothmen’s lair.
Turns out, it was none other than old man Dreyfuss, the one who told Jughead all about the Mothmen in the first place.
Dreyfuss was a Starkweather, a member of a family of Blossom offspring that were given away and raised in the woods. Yes, this is a true story straight from Nana’s mouth.
Another Starkweather brother included the man Betty captured that bit off his own tongue.
They were all in cahoots working the Lonely Highway and protecting each other.
They assumed they were preying on women that no one cared about — that is until Polly came along.
Eventually, Betty was able to get the location of Polly’s body out of Dreyfuss, and while it provided her family with some closure, it was far from the outcome Betty wanted for her sister.
And it was even more disturbing that it was an act of crime on Betty’s family by her own family.
On the plus side, it was nice to see Betty and Jughead team up for yet another mystery. There hasn’t been one that these couldn’t solve.
Toni was back, and she joined the crusade along with Fangs, who is helping her raise baby Anthony.
There hasn’t been much of a storyline for Toni, but it was sweet that she went to bat for Britta, a student who confided in her about being gay and asked her to be there to come out to her parents.
But all of this was maple syrup under the bridge because the most shocking moment came when Veronica killed Chadwick and turned on Hiram Lodge.
I know she’s turned on her father plenty of times before, but this time felt different.
This time, she took Archie’s side 100%.
And she didn’t even seem phased to shoot Chad as she zenned out in a tub with Archie just hours after.
This whole show is bonkers.
Chad deserved everything that came his way after he plotted to kill Archie and then attacked Veronica in her own home.
Clearly, taking advice from Hiram Lodge wasn’t a sound solution.
Veronica also realized she could never forgive her father for drumming up a mine explosion to kill Archie.
It’s honestly insane that this adult is still so hung up over a man half his age.
Archie may have been collateral damage in Veronica’s beef with Hiram over the palladium, but it was still very a very childish decision on his part.
Will this be the final straw in Veronica’s relationship with Hiram?
I feel like after all that has transpired, she either abandons her father or faces the consequences of losing Archie.
Will she pay to price for what happened to Chad? Or will self-defense hold up considering he tried to ambush her?
Cheryl may have found her calling as the divine.
Though her friends, including Kevin, had little faith in her religion, Cheryl seemed to believe in herself after seeing her prayers to Mother Earth aka Gaia answered as Archie emerged from the mines.
Will Kevin return to stand by Cheryl’s side?
And am I the only one completely annoyed with this church storyline?
What did you think of Riverdale? Are you enjoying the fact that it gets crazier by the week?
Let us know in the comments below!
Riverdale Review – Band of Brothers (5×16)
Riverdale is slowly trudging along toward some kind of resolution for the varying stories it introduced throughout season 6, including the Moth Men, TBK (Trash Bag Killer), the Trucker Killer on the Lonely Highway, the Church of Cheryl, and Hiram’s obsession with palladium.
As of right now, none of these things seem to intersect, but we’re all still watching hoping that it all feeds into some bigger picture.
Otherwise, this may go down as the most random season of Riverdale to date.
Archie continued to deal with the ghosts of his past by attempting to get justice for his men and putting General Taylor in his place. Seeing how Taylor threatened Archie, I anticipated that we would see Archie and Eric testify at the tribunal. At the very least, I expected to see some form of retaliation from Taylor, but the storyline wrapped up almost as quickly as it ended.
Are we to believe that Archie finally found peace? And that Taylor went down without a fight?
Jughead was making amends with an apology tour. Mr. Weatherbee made the cut, as did Tabitha, and, eventually, Betty.
He needed to apologize for the voicemail he left the night of his book release.
But for Betty, it was all under the bridge as she admitted to willingly choosing her obsession with serial killers over him.
I’m glad Betty and Jughead worked it out and found themselves on good terms, but I’m even happier that Jughead came clean about the fact that he submitted Cora’s novel as his own.
While he may have found himself in a tough spot with his writing career hanging in the balance, it’s never okay to pass someone else’s work off as your own.
Not meeting deadlines is bad, but plagiarism will get you canceled.
Thankfully, he knew better and took the hit.
Jughead’s first novel was born from spontaneity, and clearly, forcing another best-seller isn’t how it works.
Though, if he really wanted to, I’m sure he could find plenty of inspiration right in Riverdale.
He could always take inspiration from Betty, who admitted that she would rather investigate serial killers than socialize with other people.
It’s weird, yes, but Betty has always had a darkness about her that made her different from everyone else. It’s not exactly surprising.
Her work on the Lonely Highway is proving to be fruitless, and that’s probably because word of the truckers disappearance got around.
Unfortunately, the episode ended with an ominous warning from Jughead about something bad happening to both Betty and Tabitha.
Cheryl has gone off the deep end, I’m convinced of it.
She teamed up with Kevin to gain authority over the church, but while he thought they were simply punking the general public, Cheryl seemed to believe that she was really a gift sent from the divine.
Kevin’s face when he realized what he’d gotten into was priceless.
I don’t really understand the storyline with Cheryl, and to be honest, I feel like it’s a wasted character.
And finally, no one messes with Veronica Lodge.
In one fell swoop, she freed herself from Chad’s grasp and undermined Hiram Lodge. Win-win!
I’d expect plenty of retaliation from both parties, but when Chad sent the SEC on her company, she pushed back by stealing the palladium from Hiram Lodge, auctioning it off for a hefty price, and paying back all the investors he screwed over.
And then, as he celebrated his company going public, she tanked his stocks to ensure that no one ever messed with her again.
Petty Veronica is my favorite Veronica.
What did you think of the episode? Let us know in the comments below!
Riverdale Review – The Return of the Pussycats (5×15)
As the title of the episode revealed, Josie and the Pussycats returned to Riverdale.
Well, to be honest, I have no idea where Val and Melody have been this whole time, so it’s possible they’ve been thriving in Riverdale and it was just Josie who rolled back into town.
Regardless, Riverdale Season 5 Episode 15 saw their overdue reunion of the girl group and even sparked a reconciliation.
If memory serves me, Riverdale takes place roughly two years after the events of the now-canceled Katy Keene, which is when fans last saw Josie living in New York as a struggling artist.
It’s safe to say that her efforts paid off; By the time she arrives back in her hometown, she’s a global superstar!
Josie the pop icon has a nice ring to it, even if it does feel slightly forced.
Her return to Riverdale is personal as we find out that she ditched a show in Berlin after finding out that her father died of a heart attack unexpectedly.
It doesn’t take long for Josie to be reminded that Riverdale is a dark place when a man named Mr. Sweets approaches her and her mother to inform them that her father was mixed up in some bad stuff in New Orleans and may have been murdered.
Normally, one would question such an accusation made by a random man, but again, this is Riverdale; Josie and her mom simply get on the tour bus and decide to make NOLA their first stop in order to investigate.
The whole episode basically felt like a backdoor pilot to yet another spinoff, which should’ve happened long ago.
While I love Josie and I love that she finally got the recognition she deserved throughout most of the series, I don’t see this working simply because Katy Keene failed.
And what would it even be? A musical series hinged on a murder mystery? The CW sure loves those, so I’m not putting it past them.
Everyone on that tour bus would surely appear on the spinoff, including Sweet Pea (Josie’s new-again lover) and Alan Mayberry, Val’s boyfriend. Yes, Alan Mayberry, just like character from the comics who also appears in Scooby-Doo. Now, I’m convinced there’s going to be a murder mystery, detective-aspect to the spinoff!
The only way I’ll be fully behind a Josie spinoff is if they cast a live-action Scooby-Doo, too!
While Val and Melody were even more sidelined on Riverdale than Josie, the episode tapped into their backstories, and it turns out, they’ve both been pretty successful.
Val is an artist and a political activist, while Melody wrote a book that was optioned by Tyler Perry.
Both of their trajectories make me think that they were able to get far, far away from Riverdale considering the rest of their peers haven’t seen even a sliver of their success.
As Josie navigated her old stomping grounds, she made it clear that she wasn’t someone to be messed with.
When Hiram Lodge tried to file a noise complaint, Josie proved that she had way more pull than he did, and it was the icing on the cake that she called him out for still being a “little b****.” Don’t mess with Josie!
However, the episode felt very disconnected from what’s been happening on Riverdale this season, which, in its own right, has been all over the place. There was no mention of Archie’s PTSD, Betty was somehow totally over the fact that she’s been hunting down creeps on The Lonely Highway, and Jughead’s Rat King story seemed like a very faint, faint, faint memory.
It almost seemed normal…. almost.
Coincidentally, Alexandra Cabot also happened to be in Riverdale at the same time Josie returned. A little refresher: Josie dated Alexandra’s brother, Alexander, on the brief spinoff, so the two are rivals.
Alexandra confronted Veronica in hopes of getting back the money she invested with Ronnie’s husband, Chadwick, whom we know put her in a really tight financial situation.
Instead of paying out, Veronica took the opportunity to present Alexandra with an investment into Pop’s as Tabitha explained that she wanted to franchise the business.
Small town vibe at a diner with delicious food? Alexandra would be a fool to pass up on this opportunity!
Since Riverdale can’t pass up on a musical number, Alexandra, Tabitha, and Toni joined forces up for a little choreographed performance to sweeten the deal.
Was anyone else as surprised to see Toni as I was? I thought the show forgot about her!.
Thankfully, her presence was felt as she went into labor during Josie’s set, once again upstaging the Pussycats.
In true small-town fashion, everyone stuck around to be there for the birth, which happened in a backroom of Pops’…. I can’t imagine that’s sanitary!
Cheryl and Fangs teamed up to deliver the baby, which is also strange. I wouldn’t want my ex to deliver a baby, but weirder things have happened in Riverdale.
And finally, Toni, Fangs, and Kevin introduced their baby boy, Anthony a.k.a. Tony, to the world. Yep, Toni and Tony. That’s bound to get confusing.
Tony’s birth was a glimmer of hope and light in an otherwise dark and twisted town!
What did you think of the episode? Would you watch a Josie-centered spinoff?
It takes courage for a series to acknowledge the missteps it made with characters, particularly characters of color, Riverdale did more than acknowledge as it seemingly tried to make amends. Let’s hope the sentiment is extended to Toni as she was promised so much screen time but hasn’t had much of a storyline all season!
Sound-off with your thoughts in the comments below!
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