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Riverdale

Riverdale – Primary Colors (2×16)

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Riverdale finally revealed what we all already knew — Chic isn’t Hal’s son. Hence, Hal’s distaste for Chic was actually logical.

Another thing we already knew? Chic is creepy as all hell. And he’ll do anything to ruin Betty in whatever twisted plan he has for the Cooper family.

After Dark Betty threatened him, he went and told Alice all about it and even dug up Betty’s wig, which he told her mother she uses when she has sex with Jughead.

To echo Betty’s disgust, “how would you even know that?” That alone raised Chic’s creep factor to level 300.

Alice was less upset about her daughter having sex and more upset about the fact that it was with a Jones boy because “she knows how charming they can be.”

Yep, Alice admitted to having a relationship with FP but swore up and down that he isn’t Chic’s father. Yeah okay, Alice.

I’m willing to bet that Chic actually knows who his father is!

Things aren’t much calmer at the Lodge mansion where Hermione is doing everything in her power to secure her mayoral bid. It seems Hiram is making use of his purchase of The Register as Hal is conducting an interview with pre-written questions that paint Hermione is a nice light.

Hermione and Hiram ask Veronica to “keep her head down” and stay out of the spotlight until elections are over because, at this point, everyone hates her family. Being low key doesn’t come naturally to Roni though. First Ethel threw a milkshake in her face (dang, Ethel), then Veronica punched Chuck after he made a snide comment about her father being locked up in the prisons he was building, and then she decided to run for student council with Betty by her side.

Veronica convinced Josie to give her a “celebrity endorsement” much like Andy Cohen’s unnecessary one for Hermione Lodge (yay, you know famous people, we should totally vote for you!). And she happily obliged after Veronica promised to get her a guest-appearance on Watch What Happens Live (yah, ok!).

However, Veronica underestimated Josie. Why would she help her after everything her family has done to her and her mother?

So it definitely wasn’t a surprise when she ended up being the one that steered Ethel into handing out flyers with “facts” about Veronica and her corrupt family during the performance. Veronica really thought that she could just bribe Ethel with some whack promise of a job at the new prison. Yes, Roni, thank you for saving our defunct town. Everyone wants the Lodges to pay for what they’ve done and continue to do to this town, including Betty, who was Veronica’s strongest supporter until she was blindsided by all of her lies. V knew what her parents were planning all along.

Really, the only person Veronica has in her corner at this point is Archie and that might change if his mother has anything to do with it.

Mary returned to town to help Fred get out of his iron-clad contract with Hiram. Negotiations didn’t go well but Archie, who thinks he has some power over Hiram since they are blood brothers, asked him to release his father.

Hiram did but in turn, Archie had to go and thwart Jughead’s hunger strike (ha! he’s always eating) and protest of Southside High in front of everyone. Not only did Archie look like Hiram’s little puppet, he also kickstarted a war with his only friend.

“I want them to see you do it,” Jughead said establishing that Archie is on the wrong side of history. If everyone is against Hiram, why does he still think he’s doing the right thing?

I love that Jughead was called out for his sudden devotion to the Southside because I’ve been saying that for quite some time. Yet his reasoning really put his motives in perspective for me. He may have just transferred to the school, but he grew up on the Southside. That’s where all of his memories with his family as a whole are; it’s home. Sorry for ever doubting you, kid!

Even his mother knocks some sense into Archie when she tells him that Hiram may seem all-powerful but he shouldn’t be turning his back on those that have always been there, namely his father who has done everything to provide for his family.

And since Fred has decided to run for mayor on his own terms with Mary by his side, Archie will find himself in quite a bind. Which family does he support? He did make that blood-pact to stand by the Lodges no matter what.

Fred isn’t the only one trying to stand up for what he believes in. After his altercation with Archie and Betty’s fallout with Veronica, the two decide to run for student council together.

If they don’t stand up for something, they’ll fall for anything.

Let’s hope their platform is a winning one.

In addition to being running mates, Betty is also moving in because she can’t go home to her prison of a home anymore. A prison she created herself might I remind you.

How will Alice react to that? She’s obviously not a fan of Betty’s relationship with Juggy and she’s delusional because she thinks Chic’s intentions are actually pure.

Meanwhile, he’s basically untouchable and he made sure of it by allowing Alice and Betty to deal with the murder and get their prints all over the body while he stood by on the sidelines.

If they even try to take him down, he can go to the police and incriminate them. Oh boy, ladies, what have you done?

Remember when Penelope and Claudius talked about eliminating Nana Rose and Cheryl and Cheryl overheard them?

Well, she had every right to become paranoid about what they would do. It seems like not even a house full of girls for a sleepover could hinder their plans of taking the Blossom money for themselves.

As Cheryl talks about how her home is a prison, something Betty can definitely relate to, she tells the girls everything. And if you thought she was making it up, the fact that Nana Rose fell down a flight of stairs shortly after is proof enough. Or should I say pushed down the stairs?

At the hospital, the doctor tells Cheryl that there are traces of tannis root in her system. Rosemary’s Baby much?

Cheryl wants to tell the doctor that her mother is trying to eliminate her, but Penelope sweeps right in.

Their car ride is ominous, especially when Penelope tells Cheryl she leaves her no choice and “they’re going to make you all better.”

Turns out, Penelope is really homophobic and when she realized Cheryl was getting close to another girl, she used that as an excuse to send her daughter to “boarding school in Switzerland,” which is code for some asylum where Cheryl is sitting in pigtails and the nurse plans to “rid her of all the naughty demons and unnatural thoughts” with conversion therapy.

Alright, they’ve done it, that is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen on The CW.

Do you think she’s been committed to Sisters of Quiet Mercy?

And don’t expect Toni to go gently into that dark night — she’s going to bring out the girls to look for Cheryl. She knows better than to underestimate Penelope.

It’s nice to see Cheryl have someone in her corner for once.

Other Thoughts

  • Do girls really have sleepovers where they braid each others hair in a line?
  • Cheryl referring to Betty as “cousin Betty” was hilarious.
  • Is Claudius really Clifford’s twin or did Clifford fake his own death and is now posing as his brother? Or is Penelope now sleeping with Claudius hence the “he’s wearing my father’s pajamas” comment?
  • I cannot believe Kevin sold Betty out about the catfishing. Is he so desperate for love he’s willing to trust Chic? Hoes before bros Kev!
  • Hiram still thinks he can just buy everyone’s love even FP and Jughead’s. Offering them the penthouse in his new low-income housing? What’s the catch?

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Riverdale

Riverdale Midseason Premiere – Yale, Spirit Week, and Maple Syrup Rum (4×10)

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Riverdale Varsity Blues Review

Riverdale did something wild on this week’s episode – it channeled high school sports as the students acted like, dare I say, high school teenagers.

*Gasp*

It’s totally normal if you forgot that Archie still plays football or that he’s QB.

The series has been trying to return to the high-school setting for one more season, but no episode is more teen drama than “Varsity Blues.”

The championship game between Riverdale and Stonewall Prep, seemingly the only other school in the area, divides everyone.

Betty takes her assignment from Mr. Honey about the Bulldogs making the championship and elevates it by writing a riveting expose about how Stonewall Prep plays dirty. And yet, Mr. Honey nixes it because it stirs up too much trouble and he was eyeing a fluff piece, which he should’ve known is Betty’s style.

It doesn’t deter Betty, however, as she’s determined to bring down Stonewall, and Brett, in some capacity and proposes that they start a quiz team to enter the quiz show competition. What’s this new competitive nature that’s gotten into Betty? She clearly doesn’t like Brett because he’s a pompous, egotistical ass, but is there something else driving her need to beat him? Also, is it a coincidence their names are so similar? The sheer amount of times I wrote “Bretty” right now is sickening.

There’s some tension between Betty and Jughead, though, they do their best to work through it.

Despite not applying, Jughead has landed an interview with Yale, but he’s concerned it won’t sit well with Betty who didn’t get in.

Betty offers the “I wouldn’t ask you to give up this opportunity” response, which seems genuine enough.

And yet, the moment she learns Jughead has joined the Quill and Skull secret society, she can’t help but exude a little resentment.

While it seems like they smooth it over, there’s the lingering knowledge that we all have from a previous episode that showed Betty clobbering Jughead over the head and Archie pronouncing him dead.

And we cannot forget the episode where FP Jones arrests Betty, Archie, and Veronica for Jughead’s murder.

The flashforward offered on this week’s episode adds onto the mystery of what happened with Jughead, but instead of providing any clarity, it raises more questions.

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A month from now, we see Betty cleaning out Jughead’s room and crying as Brett informs her that Jughead will not be attending Yale. “It’s just you and me in New Haven,” he adds, which means that Betty is now going to Yale.

Did dark Betty possess her and take Jughead’s spot? Did Jughead get her in somehow?

The reason “why” Jughead isn’t going to Yale isn’t immediately clear, but if those flash-forwards are any indication, it’s because he’s dead.

If he isn’t dead and this is some evil trick being played on us by the writers, then maybe it’s for the best because Jughead’s admission seems to be hinged on some more shady dealings with Stonewall Prep.

Everything is so cryptic with them, and I just cannot trust Brett when he tells Jughead that maybe they’ll be roomies.

Back in Riverdale, Archie is gearing up for the big game, but after Stonewall’s bullies take out the team’s best player, Mad Dog, by physically assaulting him and injuring his knee, the team loses its best player.

That’s when Archie’s uncle Frank swoops in and offers some pain killers because that’s totally normal — an adult offering a kid drugs. Actually, in Riverdale, it is.

There’s a reason why Mary is so adamant in her hatred for Frank and it’s because he smells like bad news.

Mad Dog is an adult, so he takes the pills and plays the game. Archie breathes a sigh of relief because nothing happens to him and he impressed a recruit, but it could’ve. Now, if Riverdale had better story consistency, I would say that this storyline isn’t over and Mad Dog will suffer some consequences for playing with an injury, but I doubt this will ever be brought up again.

The Lodge wars continue as Veronica and Hiram go battle it out for the best whiskey in town. I wouldn’t have pegged Riverdale for a rum town, it seems more like a draft beer town, but sure. The best part of this whole storyline is that Veronica isn’t even 21 and yet, she’s out here selling off cases of her special blend rum. Girl, you’re not even old enough to try it.

Although, I’m really digging Veronica and Cheryl’s team-up. If she’s going to make a rum, it better be a maple-syrup flavored one.

But those two are definitely not old enough to take those shots.

Cheryl spent most of the episode quibbling with the new HBIC brought on to coach the Vixens. She didn’t know what hit her when Ms. Appleyard stood up to her and wasn’t intimidated by her mean girl demeanor. Newsflash: that’s the real world Cheryl.

Of course, Cheryl staged a coup and got her Vixens back in time for the game, but maybe it would have been for the best if she let Appleyard take the wheel. The pop song they performed was cringe-worthy yet again proving that Riverdale’s strong suit isn’t musical numbers. They are really good at murders, though, if anyone is concerned.

Other Riverdale Musings

  • As part of his initiation, Jughead told the Q&S society his deepest darkest secrets. Did they not learn ANYTHING from The Farm? This is how they get you – this is how cults operate!
  • Brett and Donna’s deepest and darkest secrets reveal they have both endured some trauma. Hurt people hurt people, which explains their behavior towards Jughead, but it doesn’t excuse it.
  • Archie got arrested again. But at least he’s brave enough to own up to the punches he throws rather than hiding under bunny masks. Cough, Brett, cough.
  • A classic B&V brings us to old school Riverdale days. Too bad Jughead ruined everything.
  • Veronica and Reggie keyed Hiram’s car and poured rum into his engine. What is this middle school?
  • Cheryl telling Appleyard that her body is perfection is a 2020 mood.

What did you think of the Riverdale midseason premiere?

Did Betty kill Jughead?

Catch up on episodes of Riverdale right now

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Editorials

12 Crazy Moments from the Riverdale Season 4 Fall Finale

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Craziest Moments from the Riverdale Season 4 Finale

Riverdale is known from its crazy plot twists, and given that this was the midseason finale, we were expecting the cream of the crop.

We were not disappointed.

Take a look back at the wildest moments of the night.

Caution: spoilers ahead. 

You can read the full review of Riverdale Season 4 Episode 9 right here!

1. Polly Clawed off a Nurse’s Face

We haven’t seen Polly for a hot minute. If I’m being exact, I think the last time we saw her was when she tried to drown Alice as part of some Farm “rebirth” ritual. And now when we saw her, she was tied up to a bed after disfiguring a nurse at Shady Grove named Betty. Yes, disfiguring.

2. Alice Tries to Attack her Daughter with a Butcher Knife

Honestly, the headline says it all. Both Alice and Polly went full psycho after picking up a phone call that hypnotized them into attempting to kill Betty. Somehow, there’s a logical explanation.

3. Tangerine, Tangerine, Tangerine

Anyone else wondering if there’s some unrevealed backstory to the word tangerine? Does Betty hate tangerines? Did she give them to a student that was allergic? Or is the word innocent enough to hide the fact that it hypnotizes people into turning into Betty and attempting to kill her dark side aka her?

In Betty’s case, that means she’d have to kill herself, which was all part of The Farm, Edgar, and Evelyn’s plan. Seriously, how is she still getting phone privileges?

4. Cheryl Gassing Thistlehouse

While gassing the house up maybe have been a bonkers idea, it worked to snuff out the darkness hiding within the brick walls of Thistlehouse: Penelope. Cheryl figured out it was her mother who was gaslighting her in hopes that she’d lose her mind because of the Julian doll. Who knew a little roach gas was all she need to see clearly?

Read the full post at TV Fanatic! 

 

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Riverdale

Riverdale Fall Finale Review – Who Killed Jughead? (4×09)

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Riverdale Tangerine Review

Riverdale took a sharp turn for its midseason finale bringing the Jughead death into clear, well, clearer, view.

SPOILERS AHEAD

There were clues leading up to the killer’s identity throughout much of the episode.

Betty has always lived with Dark Betty’s shadow looming over her, and she’s been terrified of her serial killer gene ever since taking the FBI for kids (or whatever it was called) class, so her desire to eliminate this part of her wasn’t random, but the way the storyline was carried out was.

Evelyn was able to make two calls from Shankshaw Prison to Polly and Alice and hypnotized them via a trigger word that made them kill “Betty” aka the person in the vicinity that they believed was Betty.

Oh, and the trigger word was “tangerine” because apparently, Riverdale has a thing against sweet, orange, fruit.

At this point, I just shrug my shoulders and roll with it.

Betty was afraid that she’d be affected by the trigger word, though, it’s unlikely since she was never brainwashed by the Farm, right?

Then again, we don’t know what happened while she was briefly holed up inside those walls.

However, Betty tested it in front of Charles, which, knowing what we know, was a terrible idea, but Charles has made himself trustworthy so Betty figured this was fine.

She wasn’t phased by the trigger word immediately, but she was taken back to her youth, specifically, the moment Dark Betty was born. I cannot watch poor Caramel get crushed to death by a rock over and over, guys.

Betty’s logical was that if she could go back in time and prevent Dark Betty from being born, she’d fix the dark part of herself that she hated.

Again, sure. I’d be more inclined to think that was a good solution if it came from a therapist and not from Charles, who we know has ulterior motives.

But Betty did it and went to sleep thinking she was safe despite breaking her mirror with her fist and being completely unphased. Oh boy.

So, when the series flashed forward to Betty standing over Jughead holding a rock and presumably killing him the same way she’d killed Caramel before, it wasn’t surprising in the context of plot development.

However, looking at it as fans of the series and Betty and Jughead solo as well as a couple, it was outrageous.

The series would never allow Betty to kill her boyfriend unless they wanted to enrage fandoms and ensure the end of the series as we know it.

Which means that a. that isn’t Jughead, it’s an evil twin brother, b. Archie assumed he was dead when he was just knocked out, c. it’s a sequel to Jughead’s Baxter Brothers novel since the one that got him the contract drew inspiration from the murder of Jason Blossom, or d. I don’t know, and I’m packing.

What do you think the final scene means for Jughead going forward? Is he dead?

After scoring the contract to become the next Baxter Brothers ghost-writer, Jughead attempted to locate his grandfather.

And, he found him. Or someone who claimed to be Forsythe. He looked more like Santa than what I’d imagine FP’s abusive father would look like but whatever.

It was surprisingly easy for Jughead to locate a man who went missing years ago and didn’t want to be found. The fact that Charles helped him find Forsythe also doesn’t sit well with me. If Charles and Chip are working together to destroy Betty then chances are, they’d want to destroy Jughead too.

What are the odds this is an actor who was paid to tell Jughead what he wanted to hear about the Baxter Brothers novel so he would sign the contract?

Based on Jughead’s first words to the man, he didn’t know what his grandfather looked like, and FP never saw him since the man cleared out the trailer before Jughead could reunite them.

It’s too fishy.

Charles has been trusted by both Betty and Jughead so he knows everything and thus, can manipulate them with their weaknesses.

Another day, another terrible Archie idea.

Archie refuses to give up his vigilante life because he thinks he’s making a difference. He wants to follow in his father’s footsteps but really, his father would be disappointed in him handling everything with his fists and not his brain, though, he’d probably understand since thinking logically was never Archie’s strong suit.

Somehow, FP managed to get roped into Archie’s crusade, which would be fine if FP was solely a Serpent, but he’s also the damn Sheriff and shouldn’t be encouraging violence.

Nothing has ever truly been solved with a fistfight.

Archie didn’t just put himself in danger, but he caused FP to get shot at Pops again! How many times can a masked criminal shoot someone Archie cares about? This town, honestly.

FP fared better than Fred did when he took a bullet last time, but this triggered Archie to make another rash decision — beating up Dodger one last time.

He couldn’t let it go. Dodger and Darla were on their way out of town and yet, Archie had to go and pound him into the ground.

I’m sure there was satisfaction in that, but Archie’s grief anger brought him too close to killing a man.

And now, he’s going to have to make it up to the kids in the center who look up to him as a role model but saw him standing over a bloodied man and threatening to murder him. He’s no better than Dodger.

Veronica’s beef with Hiram is getting unbelievable. She tattled on him to his mom and he attempted to sabotage her chances of getting into an Ivy League college.

How old are they?

Veronica should have known that her father would have a patent on the rum. He’s a brilliant businessman!

And she also needs to just cut herself off from him completely, which means giving up this rum competition and focusing on what brings her joy outside of taking down her father.

Also, there’s no way any admissions interviewer would be impressed with that show Ronnie put on. Everything about it was so terrible.

And then there’s Cheryl who seems to be regaining some sanity despite locking her mother up in a bunker as a hostage. Look, Penelope had it coming.

After her productive chat with the therapist on the former Riverdale episode, Cheryl realized someone was gaslighting her and making her believe she was crazy.

The only logical person would be Penelope, so Cheryl snuffed her out by gassing Thistlehouse.

She then put her on trial so that Penelope would face all the horrendous things she’s done, and Penelope admitted she was fueled by jealousy over Cheryl’s relationship with dead Jason. Again, what?

The positive outcome was that Cheryl acknowledged it was time to let Jason rest even if the way she sent him away was by re-enacting his death down Sweetwater River.

You know, I’m going to let this one slide for Cheryl’s sanity.

Other Riverdale Thoughts

  • Is the Farm responsible for those stalker-ish VHS tapes too? Isn’t it time to wrap up the Farm storyline? It keeps rearing its ugly head when it should have been left behind in Season 3.
  • Why didn’t anyone question why Cheryl had a mummified corpse of Jason?
  • Jughead was initiated into the secret society, but he should have just rejected the offer.

What did you think of the Riverdale midseason finale?

Are things getting too insane even by Riverdale standards?

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