You never truly get over the first day of school jitters, even seven years after you’ve graduated.
Veronica, Betty, Archie, and Jughead returned to Riverdale High on Riverdale Season 5 Episode 6, but this time, they weren’t students, they were teachers.
Archie was spearheading the RROTC, Jughead was teaching English, Veronica tackled Economics, while Betty handled Shop Class, which personally, I found to be the most interesting. I would’ve never pegged our sweet FBI recruit for a car gal.
Everyone was there to restore Riverdale to the great town that it once was, well, aside from all the murder.
But in a weird way, it’s almost as though they’ve never really grown up.
This criticism is specific to Cheryl, who still seems way overly invested and possessive over the Vixens.
It’s a bit strange that she would get upset and jealous over Toni reviving the cheerleading squad when she had seven years to manage the team and hid out in Thornhill.
But it’s obvious that this is how the show aims to bring back Cheryl to some sense of reality, and it’s better that she’s at least involved in the school functions rather than hiding in her mansion afraid of some made-up Blossom curse.
If everyone is going to get a gig at the high school, it only makes sense that Cheryl and Toni return as co-HBIC’s.
Riverdale’s success went against Hiram’s plans to destroy the small-town, so he sent his goons from the Stonewall Prep football team to start a fire at the school and send a little message.
But since Archie is never one to back down without a fight, he decided to revive Riverdale’s football team, the Bulldogs.
I’ll admit that it was sad to see that the team, which has brought so much pride to town, was a “thing of the past.” However, with the right coach, it could be the town’s pride and joy once again.
Hope can go a long way. Hiram knows that, which is why he’ll do anything to see Riverdale fail.
Interestingly, we’ve yet again returned to the Hiram versus Archie Andrews dynamic. Archie will forever remain a thorn in his side.
It’s also upsetting to see Reggie side with Hiram; he’s lost sight of everything that’s important.
Archie runs into a bit of trouble securing funding for the football team. He tries to play to “dead brother” card to Cheryl, but it doesn’t go well.
Why do they think Cheryl has the money to singlehandedly fund the town? Even if she is selling fake art and passing it off as the original, it’s not her responsibility to dole out mounds of cash for the local high school.
He eventually resorts to asking Veronica for help, and if you thought it was weird asking your ex for $20K (even though she was more than happy to contribute to her beloved Bulldogs), just imagine how weird it is to get pushback from her overly jealous husband.
There were some cute moments between Ronnie and Chadwick, but ultimately, he’s a snake that’s controlling and doesn’t have Veronica’s best interests at heart.
He brought up doing nice things for her like singing karaoke and being nice to her friends as if they were some kind of chore or like he was doing her a favor to keep her happy. In a normal relationship, those are acts of love.
It was the final straw – well, that and finding out that he’s been secretly chatting with Hiram – that convinced Veronica that they needed to take a break.
Veronica was living a fake life in New York, but by returning to Riverdale, she once again remembered who she was and what mattered to her.
She and Chadwick simply aren’t on the same wavelength.
However, I don’t want her and Archie to get back together in the near future either.
Archie’s relationship with Betty is really growing on me; it’s refreshing and fun to watch. (More of my thoughts on that here!)
Of course, sneaking around when you’re in your mid-twenties should be a lot easier, but I’m not going to complain about that Titanic re-enactment in the car either.
Things between them are steamy.
And if we were just to revert to the previous couples, hitting reset on the show would all be for nothing.
Plus, there are definitely some sparks flying between Jughead and Tabitha Tate.
While the show never established how old Tabitha was, the fact that she made six-figures in Chicago and could have taken a CEO job at any point alludes to her being around the same age as Jughead.
Initially, Tabitha was a little weary of Jughead, but he seems to have grown on her as she’s even offering to help him work on his story!
Aside from his brief interactions with Archie, Jughead spent much of the episode secluded from his old friend group and getting more familiar with his new boss.
He interviewed Tabitha for his small-town story, but she did him a solid and set him up with Dreyfus, a local who told him his story of the Mothman, who kidnapped his friends working the mines and took them abroad some kind of ship.
Yes, it sounds like folklore, but may I remind you that the mines are near Greendale, and we know that supernatural entities are in abundance there. (It’s a Chilling Adventures of Sabrina reference.)
Jughead’s investigation led him to the realization that all of Dreyfus’ friends that went on the ship passed away from cancer. Coincidence or is there something more awry at play?
He also mentioned that the ship was in the woods in a cave off the Lonely Highway… and you know what else was last seen on the Lonely Highway? Polly… three days ago.
Is there a chance the mothman is connected to Polly’s (and Freaky’s) disappearance? My gut instinct tells me there is.
Betty put her FBI training to use as she investigated what happened to Polly. She learned that Polly would frequent truck stops to sell Jingle Jangle and hook up with truckers (boy, did her life really take a turn!) using Nedlist (lol) to set up meetings.
Betty tracked down the last trucker Polly arranged a meeting with (Truckerboy69… really?!), but he informed her that Polly ran off that night in a panic.
Betty then turned to Alice for help and together, the sleuthing mom-and-daughter duo located a bunch of Polly’s things on the side of the road. She eventually decided to ping Polly’s phone, which likely should have been her first move. Betty, Kevin, and Alice then took look around the marsh area at night (because waiting till morning would have been too logical) and stumbled upon a corpse’s hand sticking out from the ground. Does it belong to Polly? We’ll have to wait to find out.
In addition to that cliffhanger, Hiram also sent Archie yet another message by setting a fire all around the perimeter of his home. I guess the message was “don’t play with fire,” and look, I get that Hiram goes to extremes to get what he wants, but almost killing someone is a bit much, don’t you think?
Overall, it was an interesting episode that set up plenty of new mysteries for audiences while also taking a sentimental trip down memory lane by focusing most of its events around Riverdale High.
Other Small Town Musings
- Hiram loves Doritos… who knew?
- It’s hard to do justice by “Shallow” but Veronica and Chadwick killed it!
- Nana has really upped her fashion game! Also, how is she still alive?
- There was a brief Chilling of Adventures crossover when Dorcas made an appearance as Cheryl’s art appraiser Minerva Marble.
- Doris Bell is one little snitch! Keeping Cheryl informed about what happens at Riverdale High is one thing, but giving intel to Hiram? Not cute.
What did you think of tonight’s episode of Riverdale? Are you enjoying the post-time jump reality?
Riverdale Season 7 Premiere Review – Don’t Worry Darling
It’s the beginning of the end for Riverdale. After an 8 months hiatus, The CW series kicked off transporting the Riverdaleans (Cheryl said it!) smack dab into the middle of 1955.
Jughead was seemingly the only one from the group to remember that they were actually from the future, but his attempts at jogging everyone’s memory using a time capsule were fruitless, nearly backfiring as Archie, the picture of an all-American boy, suggested people were going to think he was a “loony” and warned him not to get sent to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. Remember how good it was when that place no longer existed?
Much of the episode focused on Jughead wondering if the cataclysmic event of Bailey’s Comet simply brought them to the past or if this was a past from another alternate universe, while the rest of Riverdale’s finest lived their best lives… or as good as they were going to get in the ’50s.
Veronica Lodge arrived in town from sunny Los Angeles where things were anything but. After a deep heart-to-heart with Archie, who was goo-goo gaga over her the minute she walked into the classroom, she revealed that her parents abandoned her because of their devotion to their hit series, Oh Mija! Is it giving anyone else Live with Kelly! vibes? Veronica hid behind red lipstick and thick-framed spectacles, but in reality, she was just covering up that she’s a lonely girl who wants to be loved.
It was nice seeing the characters in the “original” Archie Comics versions, though I don’t think anyone is actually buying that Archie can pass for a junior in high school, not even KJ Apa. There were times when it almost seemed like he was trying to stifle a laugh over the material, but I chalked it up to Archie’s go-lucky attitude.
Betty spent most of the episode helping Toni and Tabatha spread the message of what they witnessed in Mississippi during the Emmett Till trial. Riverdale has always steered from addressing current events, but you can’t really tap into the fabric of the ’50s without acknowledging one of the most appalling events of the era. There was so much more to the time that would shape the future other than rock n’ roll, hot rods, and poodle skirts—though that was a vibe.
As Jughead put it, anyone who considered the ’50s to be the greatest decade needed their head examined. I’m sure you could say that about any decade, but the focus on Till’s murder lent itself to a point that the real Tabitha made toward the end of the episode about ensuring that the moral arc of this universe bends toward justice. Even without that knowledge, the ladies of ’50s Riverdale went above and beyond to ensure that Till’s story was told, deciding to deal with whatever consequences may come at a later time. They were determined to make a stand, be heard, and make a change, kickstarting important discussions. It was also nice to see Toni get some powerful material to work with.
All of their actions in this timeline ensure that, at some point, they can make it back to a Riverdale that’s not on the verge of moral and societal collapse as it was right before Bailey’s Comic struck. It’s a situation of the past impacting the present.
Riverdale has never been a series that’s forthcoming with answers, so it was nice that the real Tabitha—the one from the present and Riverdale’s Guardian Angel—clarified what happened to not only Jughead, who was kind of spiraling, but also the audience. We don’t have to wait several episodes to get some clarity!
In short, Cheryl wasn’t successful in stopping Bailey’s Comic from extinguishing Riverdale, and the trip to the ’50s was Tabitha’s last-ditch effort to save everyone by throwing them into a timeline where she would have enough time to reverse the effects and hopefully find a way to get everything back sorted and everyone back to their timelines. It’s a tall order, and one she needs to embark on knowing that Jughead isn’t running around causing ripples and corrupting the timeline by asking too many questions. Essentially, there’s no Riverdale to get back to, so why would she let Jughead suffer in the ’50s by holding onto all of his memories, especially when no one else had any recollection of the past-future? It would be torture for him. And thus, she made the conscious choice to erase his memory, which actually might be more torturous for him as now he’ll go on trying to remember what it is that he forgot.
Maybe he’ll figure it all out with time. He did write all those comics logging what happened to them while chowing down a 30-cent burger and fries at Pops! All I know is that his makeout session with Veronica in the teaser trailer makes a lot more sense if Jughead has absolutely no idea what’s going on just like the rest of them.
It’s a different dynamic for Riverdale, but somehow, it feels like the most grounded and normal season… for now, at least. I know things are about to take a wild turn as everyone fully embraces the ’50s and new relationships start forming, but it also feels like the closest we’ve ever gotten to the most authentic Archie Comics characters. It’s a refreshing twist for the final season, that’s for sure.
The slate has basically been wiped clean, and anything can happen, but the innocence of the season likely won’t stick around for much longer either, if the teasers are to be believed. Tabitha mentioned that the timelines have been knotted, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that means that strange things are about to start happening—stranger than we’ve ever seen before.
- Jughead telling everyone where they end up in the future was comical as he really had to hold back for Kevin and Cheryl, simply suggesting that one of them joined an organ harvesting club and the other became a witch. I wouldn’t believe Jughead either.
- Jughead suggesting Betty and Archie make out on his bed while they blow up a bomb underneath wasn’t his best moment… I know that’s how they got into this mess in the first place, but it was pretty desperate.
- It’s strange to see Betty’s whole family back together again as one big happy unit, including Hal Cooper.
- I’m hoping we get to see an appearance from Hiram Lodge this season—he’s a crucial part of Riverdale.
- Jughead owning a dog named Hot Dog truly is so fitting.
- Cheryl’s twin isn’t Jason Blossom, it’s Julian, which might be the hardest change to wrap your head around, especially because her relationship with Julian is the complete opposite of the bond she had with Jason!
- Tabitha and Jughead truly are endgame. Their kiss at the end was mesmerizing, and such a heartbreaking moment for her to give up the love of her life for the greater good.
- “Awesome… I mean swell.” The writers are having a lot of fun here already.
I can’t wait to see how the series comes back from an extinction-level event and reverses all of this. It’s been—and continues to be—a wild ride.
What did you think of the episode? Did you like the reset or do you miss old, tortured Riverdale?
QUIZ: Which ‘Riverdale’ Villain Are You?
Riverdale has seen its fair share of psychos, serial killers, and murderous villains. After all, it didn’t get the nickname ‘the murder capital of the world’ for no reason.
Find out which villain you’d be by taking our quiz below. Share your results in the comments or on social media at @CraveYouTV!
Coffee Table News
Lili Reinhart Claps Back at ‘Riverdale’ Haters Ahead of Final Season Premiere
The wait for the seventh and final season of Riverdale is almost over, but not everyone has nice things to say about it.
While it’s true that The CW series has gone off the rails the last few seasons, it’s undoubtedly one of the reasons why fans continue to tune in. In fact, I’m personally looking forward to seeing how unhinged things actually get in their final hurrah.
On March 2, the network gave fans a look at all the madness, revealing that 1955 might be the craziest time period yet, as all of Riverdale’s finest revert to high schoolers after Cheryl Blossom destroyed a comet and somehow, accidentally caused everyone to travel back in time.
Anyway, the point is, things are all over the place in the trailer as Archie and Cheryl are dating and planning on getting married, Jughead—reportedly the only one who actually remembers the present-day and knows what’s really going on—making out with Veronica for some reason, Betty trying to have sex with Kevin (who is in the closet because it’s the ’50s), zombies… maybe?, the return of Ethel Muggs covered in blood, a possible orgy, and honestly, so much more that I can’t even wrap my head around.
The year is 1955. The final season of #Riverdale premieres Wednesday, March 29th on The CW! pic.twitter.com/3skiIutOEW
— Riverdale (@CW_Riverdale) March 2, 2023
Riverdale is going out with a bang, pushing the boundaries to where they haven’t gone before—and they’ve gone far.
Most fans, like myself, are thrilled, but one comment didn’t sit well with Lili Reinhart, who plays Betty Cooper.
“oh my god….. those poor actors are finally gonna be free,” one user on Twitter wrote, likely prompting the scathing response from Reinhart on Instagram Story.
@lilireinhart I love you for this, Riverdale is living in their heads rent free pic.twitter.com/YVoNrvbCRF
— no context riverdale (@nocontextrvd) March 3, 2023
And honestly, that’s the Betty Cooper energy we need. The cast may have spoken out about their willingness to pursue other projects after seven seasons, but there’s no denying that this is the show that put them on the map and catapulted them into stardom.
There’s also the fact that we’ve all, fans included, invested an enormous amount of time into the series, so no matter what, we’re going to be sad when it ends.
As one comment pointed out, the show prides itself on being “weird” and that isn’t news.
We—and the cast— know what we’re getting into with Riverdale…. and we’re doing so willingly.
Riverdale’s final season kicks off on Wednesday, March 29 on The CW! You can catch up on all of our previous content and reviews right here!
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