Riverdale loves messing with our minds.
Everyone fought to get their power back on “Hereditary,” but not everyone was successful. Actually, most of them weren’t successful.
Archie made a deal with the devil, again. You’d think that by now he would know what happens when he trusts Hiram Lodge. Nothing is ever free with him. He took care of Archie’s Dodger problem rather drastically, although, it was nothing compared to Dodger’s goons shooting up Archie’s house. Dodger had it coming, sure, but what does this mean for Archie? Is he working with Hiram now? He may have taken care of one loose cannon by indebting himself to another. As always, Archie’s intentions were in the right place but his solutions were downright questionable. Hiram proved he’s no less of a bully than Dodger.
Veronica was also having a Hiram Lodge problem, but it was Hermione who fell for his old ways. Veronica thought she was hitting Hiram and Hermosa where it hurt them by aligning with her mom and helping her score a job to become independent, but that all went to hell when Hermione let Hiram right back into her life, her bed, and her house. Honestly, Hermione, do you have no backbone? Hermione proved that she’s never wanted to do any of the heavy lifting because she’s comfortable lying for her husband.
After all the crap that Hiram pulled and how he tried to destroy her and make her rot in prison, all it took was a graze on the shoulder and a whisper in her ear to convince Hermione to take him back.
She not only took Hiram back, but she agreed to renew her vows immediately. If I knew Hiram at all, he’s plotting something where he either needs Hermione to support him or to be his scapegoat. Either way, she doesn’t deserve Veronica’s mercy anymore. It almost seemed like Hermione was drugged into being obedient when Veronica confront her.
Hermosa cannot be trusted either. She claims there’s good in Hiram, and that may be true since he has always protected his family, but that doesn’t give him a free pass or erase the truly terrible things he’s done. Hermosa is up to something, I just cannot figure out her plan yet.
Betty made a move in an attempt to figure out who Charles really was. Mainly, she wanted to see if she was right about him being a serial killer. Sadly, her whole plan backfired. Why? Because she never stood a chance. Charles is a complete psychopath as we all suspected.
Betty questioned Chic who told her that Charles killed a man during their threesome. When Betty confronted Charles and made him do a lie detector, he blamed Chic for the murder explaining that it forced them to break up. But obviously Charles knows how to rig a lie detector test, he’s the FBI for crying out loud.
Shortly after, Charles claimed Chic reported the murder of the shady man at Alice’s house, which seemed suspicious. If he reported it, why weren’t there other FBI agents at the house? Because Charles lied to his family so that he could locate the body, move it, and then get into everyone’s good grace. And it worked. Betty felt indebted to her brother and ignored her gut feel, which has been right all along.
Charles and Chic are still in love and have some kind of plan for the Cooper family. If you weren’t interested in yet another fake brother, the fact that they’re both working together and in love makes this juicy even by Riverdale standards.
Things at Thistlehouse are getting a wee bit out of hand.
Cheryl still won’t bury Jason’s rotting corpse, she believes she’s being haunted by Julian’s unsettled spirit and attempts to drown him in a tub, oh, and she and Toni killed her Uncle Bedford after he snuck into the chapel and saw Jason’s body.
Normally, I would argue that Cheryl’s family is money-hungry and trying to undermine her to sell the not-profitable maple syrup business, but there’s some truth in Bedford pointing out that Cheryl is deranged and should seek treatment.
At this point, we have to stop hoping that Toni will be the beacon of hope because she’s just as messed up in all of this craziness as Cheryl. Though, she did have a valid point about selling Thistlehouse and all the bad luck it brings to start over somewhere fresh. Preferably somewhere where Penelope doesn’t have access. She has to be behind the torment being caused by Julian, right?
I don’t know how the ladies covered up the murder, but Aunt Crickett isn’t going to go down without a fight.
Jughead definitely had it the worst out of everyone, but maybe that’s just because I know his endgame finds him in a morgue.
There’s either two ways this plays out: either Jughead fakes his death to write the “perfect murder” for the Baxter Brothers series or someone at Stonewall Prep kills him.
Both options are looking pretty possible at this point.
Jughead completed an analysis of the Baxter Brothers text (this is why we love him) and realized that the first book had a significantly different tone than the remaining five. Therefore, he doubted that Mr. DuPont was the ghostwriter for all of them.
Needing some proof before he made his findings public, Jughead did some digging and found a very similar story in a Riverdale newsletter written by Frosty Pajamas, his grandfather’s pen name, a few years before he transferred to Stonewall Prep.
The findings were impressive and proved that Jughead was superior to everyone else in the class.
However, Mr. DuPont was not having any of it and threatened Jughead, which definitely proved he had something to hide like the fact that he’s not the actual ghostwriter of the first book.
Jughead took up his concerns with Mr. Chipping, who agreed that the situation needed to be remedied.
And then, the wildest thing to ever happen on Riverdale happened. And yes, I do remember that Edgar Everner wore an Evel Knievel suit and attempted to escape on a self-built helicopter.
Mr. Chipping walked into glass normal as can be, took a deep breath, told Jughead he tried to help and JUMPED OUT OF THE FRICKING WINDOW.
Just like that. And what’s worse is that no one in the class even flinched.
Brett later made a comment about Mr. Chipping’s “fall from grace,” as if everyone is in on something except for Jughead.
Now, this has me convinced that something truly awful happens to Jughead. He clearly hasn’t made a good name for himself at the school and Mr. DuPont, who is taking over Chipping’s class, doesn’t even think Jughead belongs there.
There’s a longstanding hatred for the Jones men and it’s unclear why, but I don’t think Jughead was brought to the school on accident.
What I cannot figure out is why the Baxter Brother’s novels are so important to Stonewall Prep. And why is keeping the secret of the first ghostwriter a life or death matter?
What is DuPont hiding?
What do you think happens to Jughead?
What’s Hiram Lodge’s next big plan?
And what are Chic and Charles plotting against the Cooper-Jones’?
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Riverdale Review – Dance of Death (5×17)
The mystery of the Mothmen finally came to an end, along with the mystery of what happened to Polly Cooper.
Jughead, Betty, and Tabitha closed in on the truth on Riverdale Season 5 Episode 17 as another young girl named Britta went missing while Lynette Fields aka Squeaky was confirmed dead.
Is anyone else a bit bummed that the Squeaky mystery didn’t have too much meat to it?
The Mothmen mystery also wasn’t supernatural in the slightest, which isn’t exactly shocking when it comes to Riverdale.
The series always hints at the supernatural before elaborating on a story of serial killers.
In this case, the serial killers picked up women on the Lonely Highway because they enjoyed the hunt.
When compared to all the previous mysteries, this one was definitely the weakest.
Jughead’s former student, the sleepwalker who turned up after a week, is the one who clued them into the location of the Mothmen’s lair.
Turns out, it was none other than old man Dreyfuss, the one who told Jughead all about the Mothmen in the first place.
Dreyfuss was a Starkweather, a member of a family of Blossom offspring that were given away and raised in the woods. Yes, this is a true story straight from Nana’s mouth.
Another Starkweather brother included the man Betty captured that bit off his own tongue.
They were all in cahoots working the Lonely Highway and protecting each other.
They assumed they were preying on women that no one cared about — that is until Polly came along.
Eventually, Betty was able to get the location of Polly’s body out of Dreyfuss, and while it provided her family with some closure, it was far from the outcome Betty wanted for her sister.
And it was even more disturbing that it was an act of crime on Betty’s family by her own family.
On the plus side, it was nice to see Betty and Jughead team up for yet another mystery. There hasn’t been one that these couldn’t solve.
Toni was back, and she joined the crusade along with Fangs, who is helping her raise baby Anthony.
There hasn’t been much of a storyline for Toni, but it was sweet that she went to bat for Britta, a student who confided in her about being gay and asked her to be there to come out to her parents.
But all of this was maple syrup under the bridge because the most shocking moment came when Veronica killed Chadwick and turned on Hiram Lodge.
I know she’s turned on her father plenty of times before, but this time felt different.
This time, she took Archie’s side 100%.
And she didn’t even seem phased to shoot Chad as she zenned out in a tub with Archie just hours after.
This whole show is bonkers.
Chad deserved everything that came his way after he plotted to kill Archie and then attacked Veronica in her own home.
Clearly, taking advice from Hiram Lodge wasn’t a sound solution.
Veronica also realized she could never forgive her father for drumming up a mine explosion to kill Archie.
It’s honestly insane that this adult is still so hung up over a man half his age.
Archie may have been collateral damage in Veronica’s beef with Hiram over the palladium, but it was still very a very childish decision on his part.
Will this be the final straw in Veronica’s relationship with Hiram?
I feel like after all that has transpired, she either abandons her father or faces the consequences of losing Archie.
Will she pay to price for what happened to Chad? Or will self-defense hold up considering he tried to ambush her?
Cheryl may have found her calling as the divine.
Though her friends, including Kevin, had little faith in her religion, Cheryl seemed to believe in herself after seeing her prayers to Mother Earth aka Gaia answered as Archie emerged from the mines.
Will Kevin return to stand by Cheryl’s side?
And am I the only one completely annoyed with this church storyline?
What did you think of Riverdale? Are you enjoying the fact that it gets crazier by the week?
Let us know in the comments below!
Riverdale Review – Band of Brothers (5×16)
Riverdale is slowly trudging along toward some kind of resolution for the varying stories it introduced throughout season 6, including the Moth Men, TBK (Trash Bag Killer), the Trucker Killer on the Lonely Highway, the Church of Cheryl, and Hiram’s obsession with palladium.
As of right now, none of these things seem to intersect, but we’re all still watching hoping that it all feeds into some bigger picture.
Otherwise, this may go down as the most random season of Riverdale to date.
Archie continued to deal with the ghosts of his past by attempting to get justice for his men and putting General Taylor in his place. Seeing how Taylor threatened Archie, I anticipated that we would see Archie and Eric testify at the tribunal. At the very least, I expected to see some form of retaliation from Taylor, but the storyline wrapped up almost as quickly as it ended.
Are we to believe that Archie finally found peace? And that Taylor went down without a fight?
Jughead was making amends with an apology tour. Mr. Weatherbee made the cut, as did Tabitha, and, eventually, Betty.
He needed to apologize for the voicemail he left the night of his book release.
But for Betty, it was all under the bridge as she admitted to willingly choosing her obsession with serial killers over him.
I’m glad Betty and Jughead worked it out and found themselves on good terms, but I’m even happier that Jughead came clean about the fact that he submitted Cora’s novel as his own.
While he may have found himself in a tough spot with his writing career hanging in the balance, it’s never okay to pass someone else’s work off as your own.
Not meeting deadlines is bad, but plagiarism will get you canceled.
Thankfully, he knew better and took the hit.
Jughead’s first novel was born from spontaneity, and clearly, forcing another best-seller isn’t how it works.
Though, if he really wanted to, I’m sure he could find plenty of inspiration right in Riverdale.
He could always take inspiration from Betty, who admitted that she would rather investigate serial killers than socialize with other people.
It’s weird, yes, but Betty has always had a darkness about her that made her different from everyone else. It’s not exactly surprising.
Her work on the Lonely Highway is proving to be fruitless, and that’s probably because word of the truckers disappearance got around.
Unfortunately, the episode ended with an ominous warning from Jughead about something bad happening to both Betty and Tabitha.
Cheryl has gone off the deep end, I’m convinced of it.
She teamed up with Kevin to gain authority over the church, but while he thought they were simply punking the general public, Cheryl seemed to believe that she was really a gift sent from the divine.
Kevin’s face when he realized what he’d gotten into was priceless.
I don’t really understand the storyline with Cheryl, and to be honest, I feel like it’s a wasted character.
And finally, no one messes with Veronica Lodge.
In one fell swoop, she freed herself from Chad’s grasp and undermined Hiram Lodge. Win-win!
I’d expect plenty of retaliation from both parties, but when Chad sent the SEC on her company, she pushed back by stealing the palladium from Hiram Lodge, auctioning it off for a hefty price, and paying back all the investors he screwed over.
And then, as he celebrated his company going public, she tanked his stocks to ensure that no one ever messed with her again.
Petty Veronica is my favorite Veronica.
What did you think of the episode? Let us know in the comments below!
Riverdale Review – The Return of the Pussycats (5×15)
As the title of the episode revealed, Josie and the Pussycats returned to Riverdale.
Well, to be honest, I have no idea where Val and Melody have been this whole time, so it’s possible they’ve been thriving in Riverdale and it was just Josie who rolled back into town.
Regardless, Riverdale Season 5 Episode 15 saw their overdue reunion of the girl group and even sparked a reconciliation.
If memory serves me, Riverdale takes place roughly two years after the events of the now-canceled Katy Keene, which is when fans last saw Josie living in New York as a struggling artist.
It’s safe to say that her efforts paid off; By the time she arrives back in her hometown, she’s a global superstar!
Josie the pop icon has a nice ring to it, even if it does feel slightly forced.
Her return to Riverdale is personal as we find out that she ditched a show in Berlin after finding out that her father died of a heart attack unexpectedly.
It doesn’t take long for Josie to be reminded that Riverdale is a dark place when a man named Mr. Sweets approaches her and her mother to inform them that her father was mixed up in some bad stuff in New Orleans and may have been murdered.
Normally, one would question such an accusation made by a random man, but again, this is Riverdale; Josie and her mom simply get on the tour bus and decide to make NOLA their first stop in order to investigate.
The whole episode basically felt like a backdoor pilot to yet another spinoff, which should’ve happened long ago.
While I love Josie and I love that she finally got the recognition she deserved throughout most of the series, I don’t see this working simply because Katy Keene failed.
And what would it even be? A musical series hinged on a murder mystery? The CW sure loves those, so I’m not putting it past them.
Everyone on that tour bus would surely appear on the spinoff, including Sweet Pea (Josie’s new-again lover) and Alan Mayberry, Val’s boyfriend. Yes, Alan Mayberry, just like character from the comics who also appears in Scooby-Doo. Now, I’m convinced there’s going to be a murder mystery, detective-aspect to the spinoff!
The only way I’ll be fully behind a Josie spinoff is if they cast a live-action Scooby-Doo, too!
While Val and Melody were even more sidelined on Riverdale than Josie, the episode tapped into their backstories, and it turns out, they’ve both been pretty successful.
Val is an artist and a political activist, while Melody wrote a book that was optioned by Tyler Perry.
Both of their trajectories make me think that they were able to get far, far away from Riverdale considering the rest of their peers haven’t seen even a sliver of their success.
As Josie navigated her old stomping grounds, she made it clear that she wasn’t someone to be messed with.
When Hiram Lodge tried to file a noise complaint, Josie proved that she had way more pull than he did, and it was the icing on the cake that she called him out for still being a “little b****.” Don’t mess with Josie!
However, the episode felt very disconnected from what’s been happening on Riverdale this season, which, in its own right, has been all over the place. There was no mention of Archie’s PTSD, Betty was somehow totally over the fact that she’s been hunting down creeps on The Lonely Highway, and Jughead’s Rat King story seemed like a very faint, faint, faint memory.
It almost seemed normal…. almost.
Coincidentally, Alexandra Cabot also happened to be in Riverdale at the same time Josie returned. A little refresher: Josie dated Alexandra’s brother, Alexander, on the brief spinoff, so the two are rivals.
Alexandra confronted Veronica in hopes of getting back the money she invested with Ronnie’s husband, Chadwick, whom we know put her in a really tight financial situation.
Instead of paying out, Veronica took the opportunity to present Alexandra with an investment into Pop’s as Tabitha explained that she wanted to franchise the business.
Small town vibe at a diner with delicious food? Alexandra would be a fool to pass up on this opportunity!
Since Riverdale can’t pass up on a musical number, Alexandra, Tabitha, and Toni joined forces up for a little choreographed performance to sweeten the deal.
Was anyone else as surprised to see Toni as I was? I thought the show forgot about her!.
Thankfully, her presence was felt as she went into labor during Josie’s set, once again upstaging the Pussycats.
In true small-town fashion, everyone stuck around to be there for the birth, which happened in a backroom of Pops’…. I can’t imagine that’s sanitary!
Cheryl and Fangs teamed up to deliver the baby, which is also strange. I wouldn’t want my ex to deliver a baby, but weirder things have happened in Riverdale.
And finally, Toni, Fangs, and Kevin introduced their baby boy, Anthony a.k.a. Tony, to the world. Yep, Toni and Tony. That’s bound to get confusing.
Tony’s birth was a glimmer of hope and light in an otherwise dark and twisted town!
What did you think of the episode? Would you watch a Josie-centered spinoff?
It takes courage for a series to acknowledge the missteps it made with characters, particularly characters of color, Riverdale did more than acknowledge as it seemingly tried to make amends. Let’s hope the sentiment is extended to Toni as she was promised so much screen time but hasn’t had much of a storyline all season!
Sound-off with your thoughts in the comments below!
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