Coyote Ugly, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Riverdale Season 5 Episode 13 definitely shouted out some classics.
And honestly, leave it up to Riverdale to find a way to cram all of that into one hour.
Betty is seriously impressive. She spends her nights staking out the Lonely Highway in search of the trucker who kidnapped Polly and plots his demise during the day, which includes dancing on tables as part of a covert operation.
An it worked since she ended the evening by hitching a ride with the shady man in question.
But that’s precisely why it was frustrating to watch her abandon all rational thought and make the reckless decision to jump in the truck.
Sure, she texted Tabitha right before, so at least she wasn’t going in completely blind, but this could have taken a very dark and dangerous turn.
I know Betty will do anything to chase down a promising lead that may save her sister, but why does it have to be at the expense of her own safety?
She wasn’t even armed! And while she didn’t need a gun to defend herself, it would’ve been helpful to stop the guy wielding a chainsaw.
It was already concerning when he talked about the “beauty” of watching someone die.
Tabitha and Betty are a dream team.
Who knew two of Jughead’s love interests could jive so well.
Part of me is kind of rooting for Tabitha and Betty to get together!
The only thing Tabitha didn’t take into consideration is that Betty wasn’t interested in following the rules even after catching the guy. She knew that if she turned the trucker over to the FBI — aka her grimy ex Glenn — she had a slim shot of finding her sister, so she decided to lock him up until he gives over Polly’s location.
Unfortunately, it’s not looking too good for Polly. If the dude was that eager to kill Betty, why would she think that Polly is alive?
And what does this have to do with the Mothmen? I really hope that storyline isn’t abandoned. Also, will this storyline finally lead us to more info about Lynette Fields aka Squeaky?
Riverdale loves itself a musical number, and while I didn’t completely hate the Coyote Ugly scene, I wish they’d just give it a rest.
The show is already weird enough without them. Why make it worse?
Everything about Cheryl’s storyline is so cringeworthy. Cheryl went from scoffing at her mother’s desire to start her own church to embracing the idea of ministry wholeheartedly. Why?
It’s fine if her calling is helping people, but I’m getting cult-y vibes. And we’ve already been down the cult road with The Farm. We don’t need to do it again.
Even worse — Kevin’s been sucked into this mess.
Kevin is impressionable, so it’s not surprising, but is his calling really to serve as an artistic director for some made up religion?
I think being “Teacher of the Year” is significantly better.
Moose and Fangs are together, and after the initial shock and heartbreak, Kevin was supportive. Also, Moose is back, though, it’s unclear if that’s a permanent thing.
Meanwhile, Toni is still missing. My guess is that it’s because the episodes were filmed after Vanessa Morgan gave birth, but it’s frustrating that the series promised to give Toni a largely presence in the season yet she’s been absent from several episodes.
Veronica and Reggie teamed up to push her Wall Street business. Turns out, they’re both really good at cold calling and landing clients. Sales is the name of the game.
The bad news is that they definitely crossed Hiram Lodge for coming for his investors by revealing that he was never planning on keeping his promise to build SoDale.
Hiram is probably regretting letting Reggie go since he knows his deepest and darkest secrets.
With this move, the Veronica and Hiram rivalry lives to see another day.
And finally, Archie has acknowledged that he’s suffering from PTSD after Uncle Frank brought home a stray dog to help Eric deal with his violent outbursts.
Through flashbacks, Archie realized that he never dealt with the death of one of his soldiers, Bingo, and it was affecting him subconsciously.
He took that anger out on a dog breeder who was running a dog fighting ring. He deserved it, hands down, but it was also an indication that Archie wasn’t in a good headspace.
Riverdale isn’t the best when it comes to story continuity, so it’s nice to see them address Archie’s time as a soldier rather than simply ignoring it now that he’s back in his hometown.
It’s also important to raise awareness about the dangers of war and how little is done to help vets find their footing following traumatic experiences in the real world.
How do you think Archie will learn to cope?
What’s Betty’s plan for the trucker? And how will it all connect to Jughead?
Riverdale Review – Biblical (6×18)
Percival Pickens is stoking the fire and pressing the gas on his plans to destroy Riverdale.
And, unfortunately, his plans were on a collision course with Toni and Fangs’ wedding.
It’s unfair that the one and only true wedding we’ve ever gotten on the series ends with the death of all first born’s in town, but it’s also quite fitting for the wicked town.
And the group had to have known that something was bound to go wrong as Percival continuously cursed them with various Biblical plagues leading up to the “I do.”
I don’t think it’s entirely justified to say that they underestimated Percival because they were all very much aware that he’s a powerful and dark sorcerer, but on some level, I think they just assume this is the kind of threat that they’ve faced before and overcome, which is absolutely not the case.
The residents of Riverdale have a lot going for them, but they have absolutely no idea of the kind of forces they are dealing with.
They are sharp and skilled, I’ll give them that, but it’s no match for the powers that Percival possesses. I mean, the guy is building a ghost train for crying out loud, why would they ever assume that his only ability was mind control? The guy has a whole arsenal of powers that he’s just waiting to use when the time comes.
It was clever to use Cheryl and Heather’s powers of invisibility to plan an ambush on Percival and put him in the stockade that rendered his powers useless, but why did they think it was a good idea to take their eyes off of him? They should have been taking turns watching Percival to ensure that he wasn’t up to anything.
Instead, they all decided to pretend that everything is fine for a night and enjoy themselves, and while they did briefly, the good times were fleeting as they resulted in one of the direst plagues: the death of their loved ones.
With Archie, Fangs, and most of the town dead, including Jughead, it’s up to the women + Kevin and Moose, to put Percival in his place and save Riverdale.
Heather, however, realized that the scope of the situation was far above her pay grade, so she suggested looping in a Necromancer (no, The CW fans, not that one) — Sabrina Spellman.
Betty, Veronica, Cheryl, and Tabitha in a coven of their own run by Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka)? Pinch me, I’m dreaming.
I don’t want to celebrate the death of the men, but if there’s anyone that can save Riverdale’s soul, it’s the women who make it a worthy place to save, to begin with.
Sabrina Spellman would also be the only witch strong enough to stand a chance against Percy. Dark magic recognizes dark magic. And he likely didn’t foresee this ace up their sleeves. I was going to say that she already dealt with thwarting the implosion of two universes, but I believe the timeline is off here and that hasn’t happened just yet.
It’s important to note that all the events of the last Rivervale implosion also took place at a wedding, though Archie and Betty’s, so maybe this is just history repeating itself only in a slightly altered?
The women on Riverdale have always been powerful, but we can’t discredit the men entirely.
Prior to their deaths, Archie and Jughead played a significant role, and without them, pieces of the puzzle are missing.
Archie was more so the muscle of the operation, but Jughead was critical in connecting with the other author, another version of himself — our Jughead — to write the stories that needed to be written.
It’s kind of confusing to explain, but as the worlds continue to bleed into one another, it seems Jughead’s writing was essential to saving the universes. He was told “keep writing” via a message through the portal in the bunker, just like we know that our Jughead was writing to save Riverdale. Maybe it’s the same idea that this Jughead must write to save Rivervale?
That said. I do think our Jughead saved Parallel Jughead in some way. The Pop’s burger couldn’t have been just a peace offering. I think our Jughead knew what was going to happen, so he gave PJ some kind of anecdote early on (which is why he got so sick after eating it) so that he will wake up ready to do his part in destroying Percival once and for all. But our Jughead also seemed pretty puzzled by what was happening to his counterpart, so maybe he didn’t anticipate any of this at all?
I could’ve sworn that we’ve seen the scene about the cast discussing baby Anthony’s fate mirrored the ones in Rivervale and trying to protect the child from La Llorona, which is further proof of the twin-versus. There was a lot of mirroring going on, quite frankly, and while I can’t remember everyone who died in the Rivervale timeline, it seems as though the same is happening now as they prepare for the big fight. Even Sabrina’s arrival mirrors her arrival in Rivervale to help Cheryl and Nana Rose before the final battle.
We’ve seen all of these moments, again slightly altered, before.
And the characters are beginning to realize it to.
Everyone is having dreams, memories, vision — you name it, they’re having it. It’s clearer by the minute that something very strange is happening, and no one is able to deny it any longer.Just like Betty’s vision of being the Harlot, something she vividly remembers the TBK calling her. Who knew the TBK would somehow be connected to whatever Percival is planning?
Also, we still have no indication of TBK’s identity despite Betty vanquishing him, so that’s a little frustrating.
The mystery of this season has been gripping, albeit confusing, but the slow pace of the answers has always been one of the show’s biggest flaws.
It’s truly a shame that all of this took away from Toni and Fangs’ wedding because again, it was a sliver of happiness that this town so desperately need.
Furthermore, Toni and Fangs deserved a moment where they could just bask in their happiness without a care in the world with baby Anthony by their side. I hate when promising character moments are overshadowed by a show’s darkness almost as if the wedding is just a plot device to bring on the reckoning or what not.
Both Cheryl and Toni are very mature in how they are handling this new phase in their relationship. It was bold of Toni to ask Cheryl to marry her and Fangs, but even bolder of Cheryl to say yes. There’s still so much love between them, and they are both able to recognize it and be happy for each other regardless.
It also seems like #Varchie isn’t over just yet. While #Barchie looked totally smitten with each other, Veronica, who was totally in her feels about being single, seemed to admit that maybe she’s not quite over her ex just yet. While everyone seemed to know what they were fighting for, Veronica felt lost and confused. Eventually, she realized that she was fighting for her friends, but it might just be that she was fighting to be more than friends with Archie.
And naturally, this would complicate everything. When she asked Tabitha about who is “endgame” since she’s seen the future, she was about to find out if Archie’s future heart pines for her or for Betty when everyone started collapsing and dying.
My thing is — if Tabitha has seen that far into the future, why didn’t she see this plague coming? Or that Jughead was going to have this experience with his other self? It doesn’t track.
At least going into the upcoming episode (which will air July 10), we have some hope with Sabrina’s arrival. If she’s able to resurrect the rest of the squad, they might just beat Percival at his own game.
- Baby Anthony, despite being an only child, is still very much alive, but that’s a very bad sign because it means Percival has big plans for him.
- Is Nana Rose gone for good? I can’t believe Percival just snuffed her like that after everything the poor lady has been through.
- Kevin finally came to his senses when he saw just how dark and twisted Percival truly is. And that convinced him to put an end to the custody battle over baby Anthony. Of course, now, with Fangs and Toni gone, he’s baby Anthony’s sole caretaker. Funny how that worked out.
- Jughead’s love for burgers knows no bounds.
- Veronica’s solo was… well, it definitely wasn’t wedding-appropriate.
- Things got so biblical that Sweet Water River turned blood red. The strangest things happen in Riverdale and the citizens don’t even seem phased half the time.
- We know the bomb explosion between Riverdale and Rivervale wasn’t supposed to happen, so is that the catalyst for the world’s bleeding into each other?
- Or are these characters two halves that are going to morph into one fully realized version?
It’s all confusing, but hopefully, the answers aren’t too far off. It’s hard to fully comprehend what’s going on or where the show is headed when Rivervale feels like it aired so long ago and our recollections of those events are choppy at best.
What did you think of the episode? Do you have any theories as to what’s happening to Riverdale? The curse of the first born’s was to be the last plague, but what next? What’s Percival’s ultimate chess move is going to be?
Sound off in the comments below!
5 Hottest Moments Between Betty and Archie on ‘Riverdale’
There are a handful of ships on Riverdale that make fans go wild, but when it comes to Betty, you’re either team #Bughead or team #Barchie.
While #Bughead had some really fantastic moments, many fans will argue that #Barchie was always meant to be — I think the proper term for that is “soulmates”!
In celebration, we’re looking back on a few of Betty and Archie’s steamiest moments on Riverdale!
Season 4 Episode 15 — “To Die For”
Fake dating? Don’t have to ask them twice. When Jughead fakes his death in order to solve the Stonewall Prep mystery, Betty and Archie pretend to be a couple. And in order to sell it to everyone, they share a kiss in the music room. But the only people they seem to be fooling are themselves because there’s so much chemistry and feelings wrapped up in that one moment that they begin to question everything.
Season 4 Episode 17 — “Wicked Little Town”
Okay, so fake kissing almost always leads to real kissing. Betty and Archie learned that the hard way when they locked lips for real in the musical episode. While practicing a song together — a ballad that Archie wrote for Betty, nonetheless — they share a passionate smooch (one of television’s finest!), but since they are both in committed relationships, (er, Jughead and Veronica, anyone?) the guilt consumes them and they decide that being friends is the best course of action… for now. That’s the perk of knowing the future, you know that they will end up together when the time is right. And timing, as they say, is everything.
Season 5 Episode 5 — “Homecoming
Okay, this may have been the absolute hottest scene between Archie and Betty like… ever. After several seasons, Riverdale finally gave fans the Betty and Archie moment they’ve been waiting for. The long-awaited and frankly highly-anticipated moment finally came via a steamy shower sex scene following a seven-year time jump. It was so hot that I found myself wondering if this kind of thing is even allowed on The CW. That steam wasn’t from the hot shower, that’s all I’m going to say! When these two reunited, sparks flew and caught fire.
Season 5 Episode 6 — “Unbelievable”
The Titanic hook-up that’s worthy of its very own Oscar! While things may not have ended so well for Jack and Rose, the odds are faring slightly better for Betty and Archie (aside from the whole bomb going off under the bed and creating some alternate dimension that has given them superpowers thing). The couple finally gave romance a try as adults, and since then, they haven’t been able to keep their hands off of each other. The video is a lot, but hey, that’s why you’re here, right?
Season 6 Episode 17 — “American Psychos”
Okay, hear me out — passion and intimacy don’t always have to be physical. It can be in the emotional, in the exchange of “I love you’s” and the realization that the person you’re with sees the parts of you that you don’t see in yourself. All six seasons have been building up to this moment!
As Betty questioned whether her darkness was too consuming to allow her to be in a happy relationship with Archie, he reminded her that he knows exactly who she is and has always loved her for it. She’s been so focused on the incident with her cat that she totally forgot about the time she saved a bird with Archie. Not only is it a reminder that darkness doesn’t define her, but it’s a reminder that they were friends before they were lovers, which ensures that they have an intimate and unbreakable bond. The relationship has been a long time coming, but it was always the right one. Even Veronica acknowledged it.
"I love you Betty."
"I love you too Archie."
Six seasons and one hundred and twelve episodes later and Archie Andrews finally told Betty Cooper he loves her!
— BarchieScenes (@barchie_scenes) June 13, 2022
What scenes would you add to the list?
Riverdale Meets Rivervale in New Promo – Will Jughead Figure Out The Parallel Universe?
Is the veil between Riverdale and Rivervale merging?
The new promo for Riverdale Season 6 Episode 18 is definitely giving off vibes that a return to the supernatural parallel universe isn’t too far off. And that means… all hell is bound to break loose.
Rivervale was first introduced in a five-episode event that ultimately ended up with Archie waking up from a strange dream when a bomb in his house was set off. However, the events from that alternate reality have been bleeding through into the “real world,” and it seems like we’re about to find out why!
Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait a bit to see how Archie and friends will weather this storm as the episode Riverdale Season 6, Episode 18 will air on Sunday, June 26, at 8 p.m. ET on The CW.
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