Coyote Ugly, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Riverdale Season 5 Episode 13 definitely shouted out some classics.
And honestly, leave it up to Riverdale to find a way to cram all of that into one hour.
Betty is seriously impressive. She spends her nights staking out the Lonely Highway in search of the trucker who kidnapped Polly and plots his demise during the day, which includes dancing on tables as part of a covert operation.
An it worked since she ended the evening by hitching a ride with the shady man in question.
But that’s precisely why it was frustrating to watch her abandon all rational thought and make the reckless decision to jump in the truck.
Sure, she texted Tabitha right before, so at least she wasn’t going in completely blind, but this could have taken a very dark and dangerous turn.
I know Betty will do anything to chase down a promising lead that may save her sister, but why does it have to be at the expense of her own safety?
She wasn’t even armed! And while she didn’t need a gun to defend herself, it would’ve been helpful to stop the guy wielding a chainsaw.
It was already concerning when he talked about the “beauty” of watching someone die.
Tabitha and Betty are a dream team.
Who knew two of Jughead’s love interests could jive so well.
Part of me is kind of rooting for Tabitha and Betty to get together!
The only thing Tabitha didn’t take into consideration is that Betty wasn’t interested in following the rules even after catching the guy. She knew that if she turned the trucker over to the FBI — aka her grimy ex Glenn — she had a slim shot of finding her sister, so she decided to lock him up until he gives over Polly’s location.
Unfortunately, it’s not looking too good for Polly. If the dude was that eager to kill Betty, why would she think that Polly is alive?
And what does this have to do with the Mothmen? I really hope that storyline isn’t abandoned. Also, will this storyline finally lead us to more info about Lynette Fields aka Squeaky?
Riverdale loves itself a musical number, and while I didn’t completely hate the Coyote Ugly scene, I wish they’d just give it a rest.
The show is already weird enough without them. Why make it worse?
Everything about Cheryl’s storyline is so cringeworthy. Cheryl went from scoffing at her mother’s desire to start her own church to embracing the idea of ministry wholeheartedly. Why?
It’s fine if her calling is helping people, but I’m getting cult-y vibes. And we’ve already been down the cult road with The Farm. We don’t need to do it again.
Even worse — Kevin’s been sucked into this mess.
Kevin is impressionable, so it’s not surprising, but is his calling really to serve as an artistic director for some made up religion?
I think being “Teacher of the Year” is significantly better.
Moose and Fangs are together, and after the initial shock and heartbreak, Kevin was supportive. Also, Moose is back, though, it’s unclear if that’s a permanent thing.
Meanwhile, Toni is still missing. My guess is that it’s because the episodes were filmed after Vanessa Morgan gave birth, but it’s frustrating that the series promised to give Toni a largely presence in the season yet she’s been absent from several episodes.
Veronica and Reggie teamed up to push her Wall Street business. Turns out, they’re both really good at cold calling and landing clients. Sales is the name of the game.
The bad news is that they definitely crossed Hiram Lodge for coming for his investors by revealing that he was never planning on keeping his promise to build SoDale.
Hiram is probably regretting letting Reggie go since he knows his deepest and darkest secrets.
With this move, the Veronica and Hiram rivalry lives to see another day.
And finally, Archie has acknowledged that he’s suffering from PTSD after Uncle Frank brought home a stray dog to help Eric deal with his violent outbursts.
Through flashbacks, Archie realized that he never dealt with the death of one of his soldiers, Bingo, and it was affecting him subconsciously.
He took that anger out on a dog breeder who was running a dog fighting ring. He deserved it, hands down, but it was also an indication that Archie wasn’t in a good headspace.
Riverdale isn’t the best when it comes to story continuity, so it’s nice to see them address Archie’s time as a soldier rather than simply ignoring it now that he’s back in his hometown.
It’s also important to raise awareness about the dangers of war and how little is done to help vets find their footing following traumatic experiences in the real world.
How do you think Archie will learn to cope?
What’s Betty’s plan for the trucker? And how will it all connect to Jughead?
Riverdale Season 6 Finale Review – Taking It Back to Simpler Times
As Riverdale wrapped up its final episode of the season, I found myself uttering: “what a trip.”
Riverdale has always been a unique and wacky show, but season 6 was a whole trip through dimensions and alternate universes, ending in the most unexpected way and in a decade we never thought we’d see our Riverdalians in.
After a supernatural battle with Percival Pickens, Riverdale’s finest came together in hopes of stopping Bailey’s Comet from crash landing and wiping the murderous town from the map.
While things looked bleak ahead of the crash, their survival plan came together quite nicely, actually.
Archie’s invulnerability and hero complex have been great assets to Riverdale, but surprisingly, they played a small role in saving the town.
I fact, he was forced to put his heroics aside to let Cheryl and Veronica shine and save the day.
Cheryl was long overdue for an epic storyline, so bringing her strange upbringing into the mystical world was a smart decision from the creative forces behinid the show. And Veronica, who felt like the outsider most of this season and struggled to find her purpose, realized that the powers she was granted actually lent themselves to stopping the comet.
Using her kiss of death, she was able to essentially siphon everyone’s powers via a blood pact before transferring them to Cheryl through a pretty steamy kiss. The hope was that Cheryl could drum up enough power to use her pyrokinesis powers to melt the comet (because they are made of ice!). It’s not queerbaiting when it involves saving the world, okay?
The plan wasn’t ideal, but it did make sense of why the Riverdale core cast got powers to begin with. And as an 11th hour Haily Mary, it’s was their best option.
As Cheryl levitated to the comet — yes, levitated Wanda style — everyone was left hoping for the best but expecting the worst and bracing for impact.
And then it worked… sort of.
In a post-comet scene, fans realize that Archie, Betty, and Jughead survived, but saving the world also came at a cost — they were somehow transported back to the 1950s.
The trio presented in full Archie Comics gear, which, well, is slightly concerning, as is the fact that the only person who remembers life BC “before comet” is Jughead.
When Veronica told Reggie that she wanted to hit a hard reboot on her life, I didn’t think the show would use the explosion and the comet’s destruction as a literal reset of the show to what Jughead refers to as “simpler times.”
In all the scenarios that I played out in my mind (and that Tabitha ran in hers), traveling back in time never made the cut.
And yet, it’s such a Riverdale decision that I’m also not entirely surprised; I coulnd’t help but let out a chuckle as I imagined these easy-going comic book versions of our favorite characters trying to figure out how to return to their timeline without half of their survival instincts on hand to help.
But mostly, I’m just disappointed because Riverdale was on the cusp of greatness when everyone broke through their walls in the final moments that they had to live.
Everyone was so honest about what they wanted from the future — it’s the most progress we’ve seen from the characters in a while. It’s almost a shame that this reset essentially undoes all of that.
Veronica and Reggie established that they were friend-zoning each other as she declared that she would put her absinthe business first and relationships second. Reggie became the owner of the Babylonium. Cheryl and Heather broke up as the latter informed the former that she was a twin flame with Toni. Toni and Fangs got to see their son grow up. Tabitha signed an agreement to expand and franchise Pop’s with Alexandra Cabot. And finally, Betty proposed to Archie (not long after he proposed to her) and they agreed to get married. Betty is heading into the light willingly, which means that the series was finally to let go of the whole Dark Betty/ serial killer obsession. We were trending in such a good direction that it’s truly a shame that we’re going to lose that momentum going into the seventh and final season.
Instead of progressing further into the future, we’re going back and undoing all the progress that was made only to pay some kind of homage to the underlying inspiration for the series.
And it doesn’t just seem like we’re going back in time, it also seems like we’re going back to high school.
Both Archie and Betty, who are still staring at each other through their bedroom windows in a nod that ensures that it’s entirely possible that #Barchie’s romance survived the tumultuous trip (read: it’s written in the stars), are donning high school outfits!
We know Jughead is busy writing the story that we’re seeing pan out on screen, but what are teenage Cheryl, Veronica, Tabitha, and the rest of the characters doing? Since they don’t have memories of the past, they aren’t tethered to their current relationships, so it means that anything goes. Will we reset the ships? And what’s the point of the Barchie engagement if that’s the case? Or will their repressed memories somehow start bleeding through as they did with Riverdale and Rivervale? They may be teenagers again and going through it in high school, but buried somewhere deep down inside, they have these memories from an adult life that will likely come into play at some point and make everything more complicated.
It’s true, Riverdale needed a reset. It needed to cleanse itself from trying to be too much like Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, but going back to the ’50s does not seem like the right decision… at least not for long.
Connecting back to the comics has its sweet moments sometimes, but it mostly made sense in those loopy scenes like when they visited the Sweet Hereafter and Jughead was in full comic-book-burger glory. It doesn’t need to be real life.
I’m not knocking it just yet, but honestly, I’ve never once woken and been like, you know what I want? More Riverdale high school chronicles. No one needs it. We’ve been there, we’ve done it, and we’ve thrived seeing them become young adults.
Lastly, we never found out who TBK was, and I’m not resting until we get some clarity on the matter. Like, are we just supposed to stop caring about this very big storyline that impacted Betty in ways she couldn’t imagine and led her to a moment of clarity where she was finally done punishing and blaming herself for all the darkness in her life and instead choosing to be happy? It’s frustrating.
Anyway, I hope this plot twist doesnt’ take away from some of the really stellar moments of the night:
- Riverdale found its way back to Choni, even if it was through a Thomasina and Abigail sex scene that was almost too hot for The CW to handle. Toni and Cheryl deserve happiness in the final season because they share a cosmic connection. I’ve loved seeing Toni as a mom, but pushing her away from Cheryl and into Fangs’ arms wasn’t a good move in the long run, so it’s time to course correct.
- Jughead and Tabitha’s jump into the future together was picture perfect. I mean, THE FEELS. Little Jabitha’s running around was cute, but senior Jughead and Tabitha still totally smitten with each other decades later sent me over the edge. I was a whole Bughead fan, but I can’t see myself going back to it.
- Because I’m also truly obsessed with Barchie’s romance. Archie proposing to Betty was chaotic and coming from a place of fear, but Betty fighting through her commitment issues and making a free-will choice to propose to Archie was chef’s kiss. My only hope is that she doesn’t push aside her dreams for a man because she was always so goal oriented. If she’s not working for the FBI, she better be applying those talents elsewhere.
- Can Baby Anthony become a baby again? It’s weird that we’re still calling him a baby when he’s a grown man, and I want Toni to be able to experience all the joys of motherhood that she’s supposed to!
- Veronica finally finding the strength in being a single, independent woman was so invigorating. She could’ve clung to Reggie because it was safe, but she didn’t. I do hope that she eventually finds happiness — whatever that may look like for her!
And to cap off the night, for anyone on Twitter right now wondering why anyone still watches Riverdale, well, this sums it up:
i fully make a point to keep up with this show just so i can see the reactions in people who i tell what's happening in this show https://t.co/GRrh74XRtT
— Dyl Advised (@ThatsSoDylan) August 1, 2022
What did you think of the Riverdale Season 6 Episode 22 finale? Will you be tuning into Riverdale Season 7 to see how they wrap it all up?
Riverdale Review – The Stand (6×21)
If one good thing came from Percival’s obsessive desire to take over the town of Riverdale, it’s that it brought everyone together, fighting a common enemy with a common goal.
In the penultimate episode of Riverdale Season 6 Episode 21, our Riverdalians united to take on the biggest foe the small town has ever seen.
And though things seemed pretty bleak for a bit with Percival having the upper hand due to his supernatural abilities, everyone was pretty confident that they’d find a way to defeat him. After all, these are the same people who have faced off against another great villain in town and won — Hiram Lodge.
Percival succeeded in launching some sneak attacks that caught our troops off guard. Should they have seen it coming? Absolutely. Why would anyone assume that an interdimensional warlock who made a deal with the devil would ever play by the rules or fairly?
Percival had one goal in mind, and he was ready to get his hands dirty.
It was silly of them to think that he would take their deal to divide Riverdale when he could little crush them at any given moment, he was just simply waiting to launch his attack. He wanted revenge and ultimate control, and he would stop at nothing to get it. Percy, as they affectionately called him, was enjoying the thrill before his final kill.
And his sneak attack using some version of what we basic folks know as voodoo dolls created quite a chaotic moment and threw Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Cheryl off their game. Reggie attempted to kill Archie with the only blade that could pierce his iron skin, but thankfully, Tabitha was alerted and arrived just as Bingo began licking Archie’s wounds with his healing properties. Jason tried to shoot Cheryl, prompting her to send him back to where he came from. Poor guy has never stood a chance throughout the seasons. He was simply not made for the land of the living, and Cheryl needs to let that one go already. Also, the writers really have to let him rest in peace.
Betty’s undead visitor turned out to be a stitched-up Glenn, and well, given how things ended between them, he clearly had a lot of anger built up. Part of me wishes Betty’s nightmare would’ve been her father, but this also brings me back to a bit of a subplot — who was the trash bag killer?!
And finally, Veronica’s abuelita arrived at the Babylonium guns blazing to get revenge on her niece for Hiram’s death. It was all a bit of a mess, but again, an interesting way to stir the pot and throw off the enemy.
While everyone was dealing with these mind-controlled killers, they didn’t have time to plot a way to defeat Percy, but thankfully, Fangs, Kevin, and Toni were on it.
And it involved some Inception-level mind powers, which Tabitha was thankfully able to accomplish.
Since Percival’s greatest rival was apparently immortal baby Anthony, they decided to use a time loop to speed up his aging process so that he could come face-to-face with Percy and destroy him during a secret ambush.
It wasn’t a terrible plan, but it was definitely wasted in the grand scheme of things. What was the point of emphasizing baby Anthony’s immortality/gripe with Percival for their interaction to barely last a minute? Percival immediately sealed Anthony and the other Serpents inside the casino and continued on with his next act.
Tabitha wasted all that energy on baby Anthony, while his parents gave up his whole childhood all for a pointless encounter. Unless baby Anthony is somehow the key to stopping Bailey’s Comet, color me unimpressed.
It wasn’t even Archie Andrews who found a way to defeat Riverdale’s big bad. Nope. Archie stood his ground and fought valiantly to weaken Percival, but in the end, he proved to be no match for the evil spirit as he was turned into an iron statue while his friends also had their powers turned against them: Veronica was poisoned, Betty lost her ability to see, Cheryl turned to ice, and Reggie became a dummy.
The final power player was Jughead, who in addition to luring Percival into his mindscape, also created the plan to ensure that when he stepped through Pop’s diner, he walked through a portal that transported him to Rivervale — an alternate dimension where they all had a slightly better shot at defeating him. How? Tabitha said it had something to do with the energies.
Regardless, it was a sneak attack of epic proportions because it caught him quite off guard.
Percival was so focused on his moves that he failed to anticipate their moves, nor was he clued into how powerful their powers had become.
The takedown (and destruction) of Percival was pretty wicked as it connected to Rivervale while also tapping into Jughead’s preexisting powers. It’s nice to know that there was a reason for them.
Once Jughead and his friends from Rivervale were able to weaken Percival, Tabitha then used her time-traveling powers to bring him back to the 1500s when he wasn’t yet the powerful warlock he is now. And Mr. Cypher, who was all too upset with Percy, was waiting for him to enact his own revenge.
It was a satisfying ending to a pretty villainous arc. When the devil himself comes to collect your soul, well, you know you’ve messed up quite a bit.
I’m a little hazy as to how Jughead and Tabitha walked out of Pop’s to be greeted by their friends — who were just killed — but I’m guessing she went back in time to when they were still alive and all was well. It seems like time traveling between eras and dimensions truly has no limits or rules.
But don’t go celebrating just yet. They may have defeated one villain, but in his final breath, Percy pulled an obsessive “if I can’t have you, no one can” card about Riverdale and uttered a spell that set Bailey’s Comet on track for Riverdale.
The apocalypse may be near, but after everything, I truly hope our troops aren’t giving up just yet.
They destroyed an evil warlock, they found a way to sew on severed heads and bring the bodies back to life, are they really afraid of a little comet?
Not to mention that Sabrina Spellman has experience with comets. so maybe she can come and assist once again.
Her expertise is unparalleled.
For this reason, though, it almost feels like Riverdale’s season is a bit stale as so much of it seems ripped off of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.
And while I don’t wish that any of the deaths would stick, it’s almost playing into that gimmick where no important characters ever die because they always find a way to bring them back to life. The deaths don’t hold any value, and there are no emotional beats or moments as they exist purely for really short-lived shock value. Even then, with everyone coming back to life, the shock value is almost non-existent.
Seeing Betty reunite with her mom and Polly is sweet, but it’s not as great as it could be. It doesn’t feel like she actually mourned her mother at all with everything else going on.
It’s all entirely too chaotic that if Riverdale just imploded from all the storylines that have been started but never finished, I wouldn’t be surprised.
What did you think of their plot to defeat Percival? Was it too easy? Should they have fought harder to get rid of him after all the momentum that had been built up? Should there have been more energy from his demise? Or is everyone still in shock and slowly picking up the pieces? Are you happy Riverdale’s soul was spared by Jughead and Tabitha?
Will Tabitha’s vision still come true — will Jughead die?
And how do you think they will defeat the comet? Will they find the spell to reroute it or set it back on its original trajectory?
This seems like a job for a very skilled and powerful witch! Or is it possible once to comet hits, it will trigger some kind of explosion that resets everything to the way it was?
Share your thoughts below ahead of the Riverdale Season 6 Finale!
Riverdale Review – Return to Rivervale (6×20)
How is it that Riverdale used up a whole episode to explain what’s been going on and it’s still just as confusing as ever?
Okay, I may be slightly exaggerating. It was nice to get confirmation that Riverdale and Rivervale are, as many guessed, two alternate parallel universes bleeding into each other and influencing behaviors.
The bomb at Archie’s house was the epicenter of it all. When it went off, it split the dimensions and they would’ve remained uninfluenced by each other if it hadn’t been for bunker Jughead #2’s decision to call Betty and warn her about the bomb.
The fact that he did lent itself to a huge rift that has allowed, as Ethel put it, seepage into the universe, including Percival’s crossover into Riverdale from Rivervale.
All of that tracks, but I do get slightly confused on the three Jughead’s. As Ethel is basically berating bunker Jughead for still being in love with Betty, he informs her that those are “still his friends.” Is he saying that because he knows a version of Betty or Jughead? Or is it because he’s actually Riverdale’s Jughead? And if so, who is the Jughead in Riverdale now? It’s literally too confusing to even keep track of.
However, Jughead and Tabitha were truly the reason that they got any answers in the first place.
Percival may have given his interview to Alice Cooper, which is why she knew his villain origin story, but it never aired in Riverdale.
We knew the truth, but the characters that would have benefited from it didn’t.
Percival was one of Rivervale’s founding fathers, who came over on the Ruby Pearl in the 1500s along with the early settlers, descendants of those living in Riverdale/Rivervale today. While they all began building up Sweetwater Village, he began his studies into the dark arts until one day, Asher Andrews, came across his rituals and the council decided to execute Percival by allowing him to die a slow and painful death alone in the woods. It explains why he has such hatred for some of the locals, particularly Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead.
Percival didn’t die, instead bargaining a deal with the devil himself, known as Mr. Cypher, by selling his soul. He also worked in an immortality clause in there, but the devil seems sure it’s not going to work out in his favor.
And since there, Percival has been planning his revenge. It’s actually rather silly because the modern-day versions of the locals have nothing to do with their ancestors, but Percival is also an ego-driven man who admitted her wants to turn Riverdale into his own version of dark arts paradise.
Though he may be powerful and skilled, he still doesn’t seem a match for the devil, who didn’t seem pleased to hear that Percival is hiding in another dimension. My guess is that Cypher is somehow going to stop Percival before he’s able to fulfill his plan of capturing Riverdale’s soul.
Jughead and Tabitha’s journey to Rivervale unearthed quite a lot of information, particularly why they all have superpowers.
At the behest of Cypher, the Jughead living in Rivervale outside of the bunker created a comic book series called the Superteens who all possess the same powers as the residents of Riverdale.
Percival truly gave himself too much credit when he suggested the arcane power followed him during the ripple. It’s proof that while he knows a lot, he doesn’t know everything.
And an origin story is truly important. The Superteens comics are basically a blueprint of what’s going to happen in Riverdale, right down to the big battle between the superheroes and Percy the Perverse, Jughead’s recurring nightmare.
Since he made a deal with the devil to become the most known comic in the world, he has been tasked with writing only dark and bleak stories that snuff out all the hope. And therefore, the final battle is victorious for Percy. I wonder if Jughead and Tabitha could’ve simply asked Jughead to find an alternate grim ending so that they could win against Percival in Riverdale, but I have to assume they tried and were turned down.
A lot was revealed about Percival’s plans for the ghost train.
JJ told Cheryl he was glad he wouldn’t have to fight in the war, a war that Percival’s dead ancestor has been recruiting ghost men for. The plan is to bring them back to life using the ghost train and create an army.
Yes, Percival definitely has an upper hand here on many fronts.
Their meeting with the devil also revealed a smidge more as to why Pop’s plays such a key role. It’s not about Pop’s at all, though the diner does instill hope, it’s about the fact that there’s a Hellmouth right under it. Uh, hello Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
The Hellmouth has been fueling Percival’s powers this whole time.
While Riverdale’s finest are expected to lose, they figured that they could cause a temporary setback by blowing up the ghost railroad, but that only infuriated Percival.
He wasn’t expecting Jughead to be alive, so he didn’t think that he could use his powers of opening a portal to save his friends — Reggie, Kevin, and Mr. Mantle. And admittedly, I’m kind of confused about the rules as to when he can open up portals and when he struggles to.
However, they were able to successfully fetch the trio pegged for execution, yet it wasn’t enough to taper Percival. It was an eye-for-an-eye reaction, and thus, he claimed his next three victims: Alice Cooper, Uncle Frank, and Mr. Keller.
This goes to show just how ruthless Percival actually is in the grand scheme of things. He has no loyalty to his most loyal followers. He’s pure destruction in human form.
The prognosis, no matter how you spin it, doesn’t look good for the Riverdale friends. Percival is too strong and too prepared for them to win this fight without any out-of-the-box ideas.
And with so much going on, I would rather Cheryl just let the dead stay dead. JJ and Polly’s return may have allowed Betty to apologize to her sister and stop blaming herself, but it almost felt like a distraction at times when they should be solely focused on defeating Percival.
Polly washed Betty’s feet in the biblical sense to wash away her original sin — the MAOA gene — thus allowing her passage into the Sweet Hereafter when the moment came. Admittedly, I was fully expecting Polly to break down into zombie form several times throughout that scene. Dark Betty just needs to give it a rest. We’re over it. We’ve embraced hero Betty!
What is the purpose of JJ and Polly’s return for the final battle?
Will Heather find a spell potent enough to fight against Percival? Will they find that the devil comes to claim Percival’s soul in time to preserve Riverdale?
And will we see anymore Rivervale in the final few episodes? Will the series explode this season in the finale so season 7 returns to the series we’ve come to know and love. Rivervale was a blatant attempt to introduce supernatural forces and powers into a world that was better off without them!
Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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