It was the perfect murder.
After weeks of leaving Riverdale fans clamoring for answers about Jughead’s fate, everything began falling into place, and the mystery was well worth the wait.
Riverdale has always been a series that required you to suspend some belief, but the murder of Jughead Jones is the least far-fetched in comparison to the Gargoyle King, the Black Hood, and The Farm.
Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for murder mysteries, but watching Donna unravel while Betty played her like a fiddle using classic, proven, and timeless murder plots was so enjoyable.
About halfway through the episode, it was evident that Jughead was alive based solely on how Archie, Betty, and Veronica were acting. But there was always the uncertainty creeping in at each turn as the series kept you tangled in the question mark.
One of the biggest giveaways was the whole Barchie scene. There may be sparks between Archie and Betty, and they may be destined to be with each other because of the comics, but Barchie would never be stupid enough to publicly kiss in the music room.
Veronica would also never believe it nor would she attack Betty in such a manner. None of that was believable if you truly understood the characters, but it was one hell of a performance.
For much of the hour, it felt as if Riverdale’s creator and writers were trolling us through Alice’s documentary that looked like it was filmed in 1999.
The murder capital of the world deserves a proper documentary, you know?
But all the references about some people shipping Barchie, some thinking that Bughead shouldn’t be a “thing,” and even the back-and-forth questioning of whether Forsythe was alive felt like Twitter had come to life.
They made an episode at our expense and got pleasure in toying with us!
There were plenty of clues alluding to the fact that Jughead faked his own death, some of which I pointed out in previous reviews and many in this episode.
Aside from Donna coming to the conclusion herself, which had to happen because she’s honestly too bright for her own good, it was teased with the closed casket, the fact that FP went from arresting and questioning the trio to sharing breakfast with Betty, and the fact that they were all more concerned with pinning it on the Stonies than actually mourning Jughead.
And let’s not forget Kevin quite literally telling the camera that Jughead thought “faking your own death” a la Tom Sawyer was cool back in the day.
As Betty said during the wake/funeral, Jughead loved crime stories and drew lots of inspiration from them.
Still, the episode kept taking so many twisted and curved turns that it was hard to keep track of the facts and everyone’s motivation.
Until… finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for.
Jughead is alive!
We knew it was coming and yet, the moment so victorious and satisfying.
It wasn’t just Jughead, Betty, Archie, and Veronica in on the plan because taking down the Stonies takes a whole village.
FP, Alice, Mary Andrews, and Dr. Curdle Jr (the man!) were all in on it, which means they all have some superb acting.
FP played the grieving father in such a believable way, it was hard to tell whether he was acting or if he was being genuine.
The showdown between Betty and Donna was also juicy because they’re both so fierce and conniving. The only way to make Donna trip up is to make her seem like she’s lost her marbles, which they would have successfully done had she not seen old milkshakes and deduced that Archie and Betty’s relationship was a ploy to continue the lie.
Brett tried to tell Donna to “let it go,” which only confirmed what Betty and Jughead knew — that she calls the shots and is the mastermind behind everything happening at Stonewall Prep.
Hermosa, who was quite the pot-stirrer this episode before proving to be a useful P.I, dug up some dirt on Donna that surprisingly not even Charles could find. Upon seeing it, Jughead knew it was the “final piece of the puzzle.”
But what could it be? My off-the-wall theory (although, how off-the-wall can anything really be in Riverdale?) is that Donna Sweett is actually an Everner. It’s possible she’s Evelyn and Edgar Evernever’s daughter and this has been so long con. The only people we’ve ever met that were as deranged as Donna were the Evernever’s.
What’s your Donna Sweett theory? What could be so bad that it would allow them to take her down?
Other Murder Capital Musings
- Does this mean neither Betty or Jughead are attending Yale?
- Archie and Betty openly flirted with each other but denied having feelings for each other to their significant others. Obviously, if Veronica and Jughead had to ask, they’re worried about something. Will Barchie happen for real for real?
- Nana Rose with a documentary cameo as the oldest resident of Riverdale.
- Despite Cheryl instigating all the necessary drama between Archie, Betty, and Veronica, she proved to be a good cousin when she put Betty on suicide-watch.
- Also, Cheryl’s comment about feeling bad for calling Jughead a hobo that one time was hilarious.
- Hiram is ruthless and really attempted to fire FP while he was grieving his son. FP took it upon himself to quit, which sadly feels like the beginning of Skeet Ulrichs’ exit from the series.
- What happened to Jonathan?!
- Archie and the girls were arrested and let go because they were innocent and yet, the whole town believed what they heard that Archie was a murderer. It goes to show you how dangerous and detrimental to one’s reputation name-calling can be.
- Betty saying “bitch I’m done with you” to Donna was the best moment.
- Oh, Dilton’s bunker.
It’s a game of psychological warfare, friends, and Betty and Jughead are two of the best players.
Next week, Jughead pops back into class like “surprise, I’m alive!” as they walk Donna, Bret, and the other Stonies in a step-by-step guide of how they pulled it off.
And really, the audience needs to know, too. We know Jughead was knocked out but still alive — he has the bruise to prove it. But how did they pull off everything else?
Till next week, Cravers.
Riverdale Review – Mothman (5×06)
You never truly get over the first day of school jitters, even seven years after you’ve graduated.
Veronica, Betty, Archie, and Jughead returned to Riverdale High on Riverdale Season 5 Episode 6, but this time, they weren’t students, they were teachers.
Archie was spearheading the RROTC, Jughead was teaching English, Veronica tackled Economics, while Betty handled Shop Class, which personally, I found to be the most interesting. I would’ve never pegged our sweet FBI recruit for a car gal.
Everyone was there to restore Riverdale to the great town that it once was, well, aside from all the murder.
But in a weird way, it’s almost as though they’ve never really grown up.
This criticism is specific to Cheryl, who still seems way overly invested and possessive over the Vixens.
It’s a bit strange that she would get upset and jealous over Toni reviving the cheerleading squad when she had seven years to manage the team and hid out in Thornhill.
But it’s obvious that this is how the show aims to bring back Cheryl to some sense of reality, and it’s better that she’s at least involved in the school functions rather than hiding in her mansion afraid of some made-up Blossom curse.
If everyone is going to get a gig at the high school, it only makes sense that Cheryl and Toni return as co-HBIC’s.
Riverdale’s success went against Hiram’s plans to destroy the small-town, so he sent his goons from the Stonewall Prep football team to start a fire at the school and send a little message.
But since Archie is never one to back down without a fight, he decided to revive Riverdale’s football team, the Bulldogs.
I’ll admit that it was sad to see that the team, which has brought so much pride to town, was a “thing of the past.” However, with the right coach, it could be the town’s pride and joy once again.
Hope can go a long way. Hiram knows that, which is why he’ll do anything to see Riverdale fail.
Interestingly, we’ve yet again returned to the Hiram versus Archie Andrews dynamic. Archie will forever remain a thorn in his side.
It’s also upsetting to see Reggie side with Hiram; he’s lost sight of everything that’s important.
Archie runs into a bit of trouble securing funding for the football team. He tries to play to “dead brother” card to Cheryl, but it doesn’t go well.
Why do they think Cheryl has the money to singlehandedly fund the town? Even if she is selling fake art and passing it off as the original, it’s not her responsibility to dole out mounds of cash for the local high school.
He eventually resorts to asking Veronica for help, and if you thought it was weird asking your ex for $20K (even though she was more than happy to contribute to her beloved Bulldogs), just imagine how weird it is to get pushback from her overly jealous husband.
There were some cute moments between Ronnie and Chadwick, but ultimately, he’s a snake that’s controlling and doesn’t have Veronica’s best interests at heart.
He brought up doing nice things for her like singing karaoke and being nice to her friends as if they were some kind of chore or like he was doing her a favor to keep her happy. In a normal relationship, those are acts of love.
It was the final straw – well, that and finding out that he’s been secretly chatting with Hiram – that convinced Veronica that they needed to take a break.
Veronica was living a fake life in New York, but by returning to Riverdale, she once again remembered who she was and what mattered to her.
She and Chadwick simply aren’t on the same wavelength.
However, I don’t want her and Archie to get back together in the near future either.
Archie’s relationship with Betty is really growing on me; it’s refreshing and fun to watch. (More of my thoughts on that here!)
Of course, sneaking around when you’re in your mid-twenties should be a lot easier, but I’m not going to complain about that Titanic re-enactment in the car either.
Things between them are steamy.
And if we were just to revert to the previous couples, hitting reset on the show would all be for nothing.
Plus, there are definitely some sparks flying between Jughead and Tabitha Tate.
While the show never established how old Tabitha was, the fact that she made six-figures in Chicago and could have taken a CEO job at any point alludes to her being around the same age as Jughead.
Initially, Tabitha was a little weary of Jughead, but he seems to have grown on her as she’s even offering to help him work on his story!
Aside from his brief interactions with Archie, Jughead spent much of the episode secluded from his old friend group and getting more familiar with his new boss.
He interviewed Tabitha for his small-town story, but she did him a solid and set him up with Dreyfus, a local who told him his story of the Mothman, who kidnapped his friends working the mines and took them abroad some kind of ship.
Yes, it sounds like folklore, but may I remind you that the mines are near Greendale, and we know that supernatural entities are in abundance there. (It’s a Chilling Adventures of Sabrina reference.)
Jughead’s investigation led him to the realization that all of Dreyfus’ friends that went on the ship passed away from cancer. Coincidence or is there something more awry at play?
He also mentioned that the ship was in the woods in a cave off the Lonely Highway… and you know what else was last seen on the Lonely Highway? Polly… three days ago.
Is there a chance the mothman is connected to Polly’s (and Freaky’s) disappearance? My gut instinct tells me there is.
Betty put her FBI training to use as she investigated what happened to Polly. She learned that Polly would frequent truck stops to sell Jingle Jangle and hook up with truckers (boy, did her life really take a turn!) using Nedlist (lol) to set up meetings.
Betty tracked down the last trucker Polly arranged a meeting with (Truckerboy69… really?!), but he informed her that Polly ran off that night in a panic.
Betty then turned to Alice for help and together, the sleuthing mom-and-daughter duo located a bunch of Polly’s things on the side of the road. She eventually decided to ping Polly’s phone, which likely should have been her first move. Betty, Kevin, and Alice then took look around the marsh area at night (because waiting till morning would have been too logical) and stumbled upon a corpse’s hand sticking out from the ground. Does it belong to Polly? We’ll have to wait to find out.
In addition to that cliffhanger, Hiram also sent Archie yet another message by setting a fire all around the perimeter of his home. I guess the message was “don’t play with fire,” and look, I get that Hiram goes to extremes to get what he wants, but almost killing someone is a bit much, don’t you think?
Overall, it was an interesting episode that set up plenty of new mysteries for audiences while also taking a sentimental trip down memory lane by focusing most of its events around Riverdale High.
Other Small Town Musings
- Hiram loves Doritos… who knew?
- It’s hard to do justice by “Shallow” but Veronica and Chadwick killed it!
- Nana has really upped her fashion game! Also, how is she still alive?
- There was a brief Chilling of Adventures crossover when Dorcas made an appearance as Cheryl’s art appraiser Minerva Marble.
- Doris Bell is one little snitch! Keeping Cheryl informed about what happens at Riverdale High is one thing, but giving intel to Hiram? Not cute.
What did you think of tonight’s episode of Riverdale? Are you enjoying the post-time jump reality?
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New Couple Alert: ‘Katy Keene’s Lucy Hale and ‘Riverdale’s Skeet Ulrich Spotted Kissing
This is one couple you didn’t see coming! Who would’ve thought we’d ever see a liar dating a serpent?
Pretty Little Liars and Katy Keene alum Lucy Hale was spotted packing on the PDA with Riverdale star Skeet Ulrich on Sunday, February 21!
Photos of their romantic outing were captured by Page Six.
You can see the 31-year-old star leaning in for a kiss with the 51-year-old actor.
The duo were also spotted holding hands at the table.
Once they finished their meal, they put on their masks and the “Scream” alum embraced the actress from behind.
Ulrich previously dated Megan Blake Irwin and were criticized for their 20-year-age difference, which she defended.
While Ulrich and Hale starred in sister-show’s on the CW, they never crossed paths. Ulrich recently wrapped up his five-season arc as Forsythe Pendleton Jones II (FP Jones) on Riverdale, while Hale starred in the Riverdale spinoff Katy Keene as the titular character for one season before it got canceled.
Neither Ulrich or Hale have commented on the relationship.
Let’s Talk About What #Barchie’s Steamy Shower Scene on ‘Riverdale’ Means for the Ship
It finally happened, #Barchie fans!
If you’re a #Bughead fan, you might want to stop reading at this point because this is a full post dedicated to the Betty and Archie hook-up!
After several seasons, Riverdale finally gave fans the Betty and Archie moment they’ve been waiting for.
This moment has been a long time coming.
There were some close calls through the years, though mainly, fans were left disappointed and wondering if the pairing would ever see the light of day.
At the end of season 4, the duo shared a romantic kiss but ultimately decided to bury their feelings out of respect for their significant others.
But you don’t just write a love ballad for someone and forget about them!
The long-awaited and highly-anticipated moment finally came via a steamy shower sex scene following a seven-year time-jump. It was so hot, I found myself wondering if this is even allowed on The CW. That steam wasn’t from the hot shower, that’s all I’m going to say!
Archie, who survived a war, and Betty, who has been catching serial killers while training to be an FBI agent at Quantico, reunited and fell right back into their old feelings without even realizing it.
Post hook-up, when Archie questioned what just happened between them, Betty informed him that it’s something “we’ve been wanting to do since high school but never got around to it.” And you have to appreciate her honesty here.
Since they’re both mature and single adults — Archie’s ex Veronica is “happily” married, while Betty hasn’t been with Jughead for years — they decided to keep the moment of passion under wraps.
Riverdale can be a bit ridiculous at times, but this was the smartest decision these two ever made. They don’t owe anyone, including Veronica and Jughead, anything.
This moment singlehandedly changed the Betty and Archie relationship forever.
And when I tell you fans were thrilled, I mean they were straight geeking out on Twitter.
“Something we’ve been wanting to do since high school but never got around too.”
— Barchiedaily (@Barchiedaily) February 18, 2021
— Barchiedaily (@Barchiedaily) February 18, 2021
But what does this mean for #Barchie moving forward? Was it a one-time thing that they needed to get out of their system?
Based on the glowing aftermath, methinks not. The chemistry and sexual tension is there, and they’re clearly into each other. And for the first time, they’re both in a place where they can pursue a relationship.
Well, there is the small issue of Betty’s boyfriend, Glen, back in Virginia, but I doubt that will pose much of a problem since she seemed to forget all about him. She didn’t even call him to inform him she decided to stick around for a while and teach at her old high school, which tells you everything you need to know!
And while Archie and Jughead’s new roomie situation may make things a bit more complicated and awkward, I think Archie and Betty owe it to each other to explore these longtime feelings.
They’ve never been given the opportunity to figure what these feelings truly mean — is it love or is it just lust? — because they’ve always repressed them out of respect for others.
There’s no better time like the present to put them to the test.
Though, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t see it lasting long. I’d love the idea of #Barchie babies, but with the core four back in each other’s orbits, they’re bound to fall into old habits.
Jughead and Betty don’t seem like they’re going to get back together anytime soon, but based on their conversation, they never got closure following their abrupt breakup. With a new mystery in tow, I see their paths merging again, though, I am really digging that Betty and Archie have been working together on the “Polly mystery.”
As for Ronnie, she may be married, but it’s not going to last long. She and Chadwick are already having marital issues that stem mainly from his insecurities and jealousy. I wouldn’t rule out a post-divorce reunion for Archie and Veronica.
She’s always wanted someone who can handle her Lodge independence, and Archie has always been that man.
So, while Betty and Archie might not be able to keep their hands to themselves in the short-term, I don’t think that there’s potential for them in the long run. And that’s okay too.
Sometimes the best thing before settling down is the fling you’ve always fantasized about!
At the end of the day, I’m rooting for the ships that will bring each other happiness — whoever that may be!
Don’t forget to check out our full review of Riverdale Season 5 Episode 5 now!
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