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Riverdale

Riverdale – Tales From The Darkside (2×07)

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Black Hood, Riverdale Reaper, pancake mix, oh my.

It’s become pretty clear that the Black Hood’s main goal is to eliminate the sticky little town of sinners.

On this week’s episode, our hooded villain put the fine citizens of Riverdale up to a test — could they actually be decent human beings?

Apparently not because the first thing that everyone does after being put to test is to SIN all over the place.

Let’s start with Jughead and Archie. Jughead is arguably one of the smartest characters on the show yet he somehow allowed Penny Peabody, who his father warned him about, to get him involved in something really shady.

Penny was so obviously lying about FP and setting Jughead up and I was upset that he was so naive that he flat out believed her instead of doing his due diligence, which you would expect from a young novelist and brimming detective, and checking out the facts himself.

If FP really distrusted Penny so much, why would he call her in a time of need? And why wouldn’t they have called Jughead to inform him?

Of course, Jughead had to drag Archie down with him and Archie proved that he was a ride-or-die friend because he followed their mission through to the very end. Surely the guilt was a contributing factor since Penny told Juggy that FP took a beating because of that little racing fallout with the Ghoulies, which was Archie’s fault.

Whoever is writing for season 2 of this show really studied up on their horror movies because man, I’ve never been so anxious watching a CW show in my life.

I couldn’t even bare to watch Jughead hop into that truck with that stranger (and if he looked familiar it’s because he’s the OG murderer the Candyman!) with what I’m assuming was pounds and pounds of Jingle Jangle.

The Candyman brought up a parallel-serial killer the Riverdale Reape, which I’m surprised Jughead, a connoisseur of murder mysteries, had never heard about. Could the Reaper really be connected to Black Hood? Could it be the same person? Was it that truck driver? Why was he killing deer? And why did Archie have some weird connection with said bloody deer? It was all types of bizarre.

Still, Archie came through when the guy wanted to run off with Jughead’s drugs by leaving him behind at the diner. Shady on all levels.

And taking an even shadier level was the realization that Penny set Jughead up as revenge for FP not paying his dues and now he was going to be her drug mule, which if you ask me is a huge sin and skyrockets him up right to the very top of the Black Hood’s hit list.

Next up we’ve got the very odd story of poor little Josie, a small town girl with big dreams of becoming the next Whitney Houston. She’s having a bit of a Destiny’s Child problem since she’s trying to go solo and leave the Pussycats behind. And if that isn’t enough stress on her vocal chords, she’s also being stalked by someone who keeps leaving creepy presents in her locker.

Look, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s the Black Hood. Why that doesn’t occur to her I’m not sure. She believes that it’s newly-reformed Chuck Clayton; you may remember him from the slut-shaming episode. Yep, he’s back just in the nick of time and he swears that he’s innocent. The Sheriff backs up those claims, her mother tells her all about the death threats she’s getting, she has that horrifying dream that BH is slicing her throat and yet she still goes to practice after-hours at the school by herself. What a bold girl I tell ya.

So who is terrorizing Josie? It would seem like none-other than Cheryl Blossom, who was spotted drawing a portrait of her and the girl who saved her life from Nick a few episodes ago, which was similar to the one in the locker. What’s the deal her though? Is Cheryl just so grateful she becomes obsessive? Is she having a breakdown? Does she have a crush?

Out of all three stories, the adventures of Bee and Vee seem the lightest and that’s really saying something. Betty came to the crazy conclusion that Sheriff Keller was Black Hood and oddly enough, it was a plausible choice. Veronica, on the other hand, seemed to think that Keller was simply having an affair. Either way, when you’re told that someone you thought was good is now up-to-no-good, you begin to see them in a different light. Everything they do is suspicious.

Veronica decided to prove her women’s intuition by orchestrating a sleepover at Kevin’s house. Don’t you love just how much these two have bonded? During her snoopfest, she sneaks up on Keller who is all types of older daddy goals while working out in the basement. She begins prying about Mrs. Keller but is interrupted by Kevin, who was up to get his glass of milk, bless his little soul.

Betty is resilient so she investigates more by sneaking into the Keller house to discover the Sheriff’s A-inspired lair. Obviously, Keller caught her and obviously, he had a logical explanation for it — it’s the one they found in Archie’s locker. Silly Betty.

Finally, she convinced Veronica to help her spy on Keller in the middle of the night and it turns out, Vee was on the money.  How sad is it that she’s so exposed to this stuff, she can pick up on the signs of a man having an affair?  The mystery woman….. Mayor McCoy.

McCoy is quite the hypocrite; she forbids Josie from doing anything because she “fears for her safety,” but last I checked, sneaking around with a married men at tacky motels at 4am in the morning is the worst type of SINNING. No wonder she’s getting death threats.

This new alliance has me wondering if maybe Keller really is the Black Hood and in cahoots (and in bed) with the Mayor to make Riverdale the kind of town they want.

Just when you think you’ve figured it all out, they keep surprising you.

Who do you think is the most screwed? I would say Jughead is topping my list right now because if he doesn’t find a way to free himself from Penny and the Serpent’s, he’s going to end up like FP… or worse. His only saving grace would be for FP to actually get out of jail and bring back order.

And what exactly does the Black Hood mean by the reckoning? Someone call Sabrina stat.

Other Thoughts

  • Even though this is such a small town and most of the people in that diner when Black Hood made the call are dating or otherwise connected, neither of them knew what the other was up to. It was weird seeing V & B and Archie and Jughead there but not actually acknowledging each other.
  • I love that Betty is 100% behind her man and wearing a Serpent t-shirt in bed! So badass!
  • Where are all the parents actually parenting this week?

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Riverdale

Riverdale Midseason Premiere – Yale, Spirit Week, and Maple Syrup Rum (4×10)

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Riverdale Varsity Blues Review

Riverdale did something wild on this week’s episode – it channeled high school sports as the students acted like, dare I say, high school teenagers.

*Gasp*

It’s totally normal if you forgot that Archie still plays football or that he’s QB.

The series has been trying to return to the high-school setting for one more season, but no episode is more teen drama than “Varsity Blues.”

The championship game between Riverdale and Stonewall Prep, seemingly the only other school in the area, divides everyone.

Betty takes her assignment from Mr. Honey about the Bulldogs making the championship and elevates it by writing a riveting expose about how Stonewall Prep plays dirty. And yet, Mr. Honey nixes it because it stirs up too much trouble and he was eyeing a fluff piece, which he should’ve known is Betty’s style.

It doesn’t deter Betty, however, as she’s determined to bring down Stonewall, and Brett, in some capacity and proposes that they start a quiz team to enter the quiz show competition. What’s this new competitive nature that’s gotten into Betty? She clearly doesn’t like Brett because he’s a pompous, egotistical ass, but is there something else driving her need to beat him? Also, is it a coincidence their names are so similar? The sheer amount of times I wrote “Bretty” right now is sickening.

There’s some tension between Betty and Jughead, though, they do their best to work through it.

Despite not applying, Jughead has landed an interview with Yale, but he’s concerned it won’t sit well with Betty who didn’t get in.

Betty offers the “I wouldn’t ask you to give up this opportunity” response, which seems genuine enough.

And yet, the moment she learns Jughead has joined the Quill and Skull secret society, she can’t help but exude a little resentment.

While it seems like they smooth it over, there’s the lingering knowledge that we all have from a previous episode that showed Betty clobbering Jughead over the head and Archie pronouncing him dead.

And we cannot forget the episode where FP Jones arrests Betty, Archie, and Veronica for Jughead’s murder.

The flashforward offered on this week’s episode adds onto the mystery of what happened with Jughead, but instead of providing any clarity, it raises more questions.

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A month from now, we see Betty cleaning out Jughead’s room and crying as Brett informs her that Jughead will not be attending Yale. “It’s just you and me in New Haven,” he adds, which means that Betty is now going to Yale.

Did dark Betty possess her and take Jughead’s spot? Did Jughead get her in somehow?

The reason “why” Jughead isn’t going to Yale isn’t immediately clear, but if those flash-forwards are any indication, it’s because he’s dead.

If he isn’t dead and this is some evil trick being played on us by the writers, then maybe it’s for the best because Jughead’s admission seems to be hinged on some more shady dealings with Stonewall Prep.

Everything is so cryptic with them, and I just cannot trust Brett when he tells Jughead that maybe they’ll be roomies.

Back in Riverdale, Archie is gearing up for the big game, but after Stonewall’s bullies take out the team’s best player, Mad Dog, by physically assaulting him and injuring his knee, the team loses its best player.

That’s when Archie’s uncle Frank swoops in and offers some pain killers because that’s totally normal — an adult offering a kid drugs. Actually, in Riverdale, it is.

There’s a reason why Mary is so adamant in her hatred for Frank and it’s because he smells like bad news.

Mad Dog is an adult, so he takes the pills and plays the game. Archie breathes a sigh of relief because nothing happens to him and he impressed a recruit, but it could’ve. Now, if Riverdale had better story consistency, I would say that this storyline isn’t over and Mad Dog will suffer some consequences for playing with an injury, but I doubt this will ever be brought up again.

The Lodge wars continue as Veronica and Hiram go battle it out for the best whiskey in town. I wouldn’t have pegged Riverdale for a rum town, it seems more like a draft beer town, but sure. The best part of this whole storyline is that Veronica isn’t even 21 and yet, she’s out here selling off cases of her special blend rum. Girl, you’re not even old enough to try it.

Although, I’m really digging Veronica and Cheryl’s team-up. If she’s going to make a rum, it better be a maple-syrup flavored one.

But those two are definitely not old enough to take those shots.

Cheryl spent most of the episode quibbling with the new HBIC brought on to coach the Vixens. She didn’t know what hit her when Ms. Appleyard stood up to her and wasn’t intimidated by her mean girl demeanor. Newsflash: that’s the real world Cheryl.

Of course, Cheryl staged a coup and got her Vixens back in time for the game, but maybe it would have been for the best if she let Appleyard take the wheel. The pop song they performed was cringe-worthy yet again proving that Riverdale’s strong suit isn’t musical numbers. They are really good at murders, though, if anyone is concerned.

Other Riverdale Musings

  • As part of his initiation, Jughead told the Q&S society his deepest darkest secrets. Did they not learn ANYTHING from The Farm? This is how they get you – this is how cults operate!
  • Brett and Donna’s deepest and darkest secrets reveal they have both endured some trauma. Hurt people hurt people, which explains their behavior towards Jughead, but it doesn’t excuse it.
  • Archie got arrested again. But at least he’s brave enough to own up to the punches he throws rather than hiding under bunny masks. Cough, Brett, cough.
  • A classic B&V brings us to old school Riverdale days. Too bad Jughead ruined everything.
  • Veronica and Reggie keyed Hiram’s car and poured rum into his engine. What is this middle school?
  • Cheryl telling Appleyard that her body is perfection is a 2020 mood.

What did you think of the Riverdale midseason premiere?

Did Betty kill Jughead?

Catch up on episodes of Riverdale right now

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Editorials

12 Crazy Moments from the Riverdale Season 4 Fall Finale

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Craziest Moments from the Riverdale Season 4 Finale

Riverdale is known from its crazy plot twists, and given that this was the midseason finale, we were expecting the cream of the crop.

We were not disappointed.

Take a look back at the wildest moments of the night.

Caution: spoilers ahead. 

You can read the full review of Riverdale Season 4 Episode 9 right here!

1. Polly Clawed off a Nurse’s Face

We haven’t seen Polly for a hot minute. If I’m being exact, I think the last time we saw her was when she tried to drown Alice as part of some Farm “rebirth” ritual. And now when we saw her, she was tied up to a bed after disfiguring a nurse at Shady Grove named Betty. Yes, disfiguring.

2. Alice Tries to Attack her Daughter with a Butcher Knife

Honestly, the headline says it all. Both Alice and Polly went full psycho after picking up a phone call that hypnotized them into attempting to kill Betty. Somehow, there’s a logical explanation.

3. Tangerine, Tangerine, Tangerine

Anyone else wondering if there’s some unrevealed backstory to the word tangerine? Does Betty hate tangerines? Did she give them to a student that was allergic? Or is the word innocent enough to hide the fact that it hypnotizes people into turning into Betty and attempting to kill her dark side aka her?

In Betty’s case, that means she’d have to kill herself, which was all part of The Farm, Edgar, and Evelyn’s plan. Seriously, how is she still getting phone privileges?

4. Cheryl Gassing Thistlehouse

While gassing the house up maybe have been a bonkers idea, it worked to snuff out the darkness hiding within the brick walls of Thistlehouse: Penelope. Cheryl figured out it was her mother who was gaslighting her in hopes that she’d lose her mind because of the Julian doll. Who knew a little roach gas was all she need to see clearly?

Read the full post at TV Fanatic! 

 

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Riverdale

Riverdale Fall Finale Review – Who Killed Jughead? (4×09)

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Riverdale Tangerine Review

Riverdale took a sharp turn for its midseason finale bringing the Jughead death into clear, well, clearer, view.

SPOILERS AHEAD

There were clues leading up to the killer’s identity throughout much of the episode.

Betty has always lived with Dark Betty’s shadow looming over her, and she’s been terrified of her serial killer gene ever since taking the FBI for kids (or whatever it was called) class, so her desire to eliminate this part of her wasn’t random, but the way the storyline was carried out was.

Evelyn was able to make two calls from Shankshaw Prison to Polly and Alice and hypnotized them via a trigger word that made them kill “Betty” aka the person in the vicinity that they believed was Betty.

Oh, and the trigger word was “tangerine” because apparently, Riverdale has a thing against sweet, orange, fruit.

At this point, I just shrug my shoulders and roll with it.

Betty was afraid that she’d be affected by the trigger word, though, it’s unlikely since she was never brainwashed by the Farm, right?

Then again, we don’t know what happened while she was briefly holed up inside those walls.

However, Betty tested it in front of Charles, which, knowing what we know, was a terrible idea, but Charles has made himself trustworthy so Betty figured this was fine.

She wasn’t phased by the trigger word immediately, but she was taken back to her youth, specifically, the moment Dark Betty was born. I cannot watch poor Caramel get crushed to death by a rock over and over, guys.

Betty’s logical was that if she could go back in time and prevent Dark Betty from being born, she’d fix the dark part of herself that she hated.

Again, sure. I’d be more inclined to think that was a good solution if it came from a therapist and not from Charles, who we know has ulterior motives.

But Betty did it and went to sleep thinking she was safe despite breaking her mirror with her fist and being completely unphased. Oh boy.

So, when the series flashed forward to Betty standing over Jughead holding a rock and presumably killing him the same way she’d killed Caramel before, it wasn’t surprising in the context of plot development.

However, looking at it as fans of the series and Betty and Jughead solo as well as a couple, it was outrageous.

The series would never allow Betty to kill her boyfriend unless they wanted to enrage fandoms and ensure the end of the series as we know it.

Which means that a. that isn’t Jughead, it’s an evil twin brother, b. Archie assumed he was dead when he was just knocked out, c. it’s a sequel to Jughead’s Baxter Brothers novel since the one that got him the contract drew inspiration from the murder of Jason Blossom, or d. I don’t know, and I’m packing.

What do you think the final scene means for Jughead going forward? Is he dead?

After scoring the contract to become the next Baxter Brothers ghost-writer, Jughead attempted to locate his grandfather.

And, he found him. Or someone who claimed to be Forsythe. He looked more like Santa than what I’d imagine FP’s abusive father would look like but whatever.

It was surprisingly easy for Jughead to locate a man who went missing years ago and didn’t want to be found. The fact that Charles helped him find Forsythe also doesn’t sit well with me. If Charles and Chip are working together to destroy Betty then chances are, they’d want to destroy Jughead too.

What are the odds this is an actor who was paid to tell Jughead what he wanted to hear about the Baxter Brothers novel so he would sign the contract?

Based on Jughead’s first words to the man, he didn’t know what his grandfather looked like, and FP never saw him since the man cleared out the trailer before Jughead could reunite them.

It’s too fishy.

Charles has been trusted by both Betty and Jughead so he knows everything and thus, can manipulate them with their weaknesses.

Another day, another terrible Archie idea.

Archie refuses to give up his vigilante life because he thinks he’s making a difference. He wants to follow in his father’s footsteps but really, his father would be disappointed in him handling everything with his fists and not his brain, though, he’d probably understand since thinking logically was never Archie’s strong suit.

Somehow, FP managed to get roped into Archie’s crusade, which would be fine if FP was solely a Serpent, but he’s also the damn Sheriff and shouldn’t be encouraging violence.

Nothing has ever truly been solved with a fistfight.

Archie didn’t just put himself in danger, but he caused FP to get shot at Pops again! How many times can a masked criminal shoot someone Archie cares about? This town, honestly.

FP fared better than Fred did when he took a bullet last time, but this triggered Archie to make another rash decision — beating up Dodger one last time.

He couldn’t let it go. Dodger and Darla were on their way out of town and yet, Archie had to go and pound him into the ground.

I’m sure there was satisfaction in that, but Archie’s grief anger brought him too close to killing a man.

And now, he’s going to have to make it up to the kids in the center who look up to him as a role model but saw him standing over a bloodied man and threatening to murder him. He’s no better than Dodger.

Veronica’s beef with Hiram is getting unbelievable. She tattled on him to his mom and he attempted to sabotage her chances of getting into an Ivy League college.

How old are they?

Veronica should have known that her father would have a patent on the rum. He’s a brilliant businessman!

And she also needs to just cut herself off from him completely, which means giving up this rum competition and focusing on what brings her joy outside of taking down her father.

Also, there’s no way any admissions interviewer would be impressed with that show Ronnie put on. Everything about it was so terrible.

And then there’s Cheryl who seems to be regaining some sanity despite locking her mother up in a bunker as a hostage. Look, Penelope had it coming.

After her productive chat with the therapist on the former Riverdale episode, Cheryl realized someone was gaslighting her and making her believe she was crazy.

The only logical person would be Penelope, so Cheryl snuffed her out by gassing Thistlehouse.

She then put her on trial so that Penelope would face all the horrendous things she’s done, and Penelope admitted she was fueled by jealousy over Cheryl’s relationship with dead Jason. Again, what?

The positive outcome was that Cheryl acknowledged it was time to let Jason rest even if the way she sent him away was by re-enacting his death down Sweetwater River.

You know, I’m going to let this one slide for Cheryl’s sanity.

Other Riverdale Thoughts

  • Is the Farm responsible for those stalker-ish VHS tapes too? Isn’t it time to wrap up the Farm storyline? It keeps rearing its ugly head when it should have been left behind in Season 3.
  • Why didn’t anyone question why Cheryl had a mummified corpse of Jason?
  • Jughead was initiated into the secret society, but he should have just rejected the offer.

What did you think of the Riverdale midseason finale?

Are things getting too insane even by Riverdale standards?

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