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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)

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I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.

These writers, they’re good.

They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.

All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.

There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.

Who is the Gargoyle King?

After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.

Come again?

The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?

Yes, the very same.

Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.

How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.

It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.

Was he always wearing his GK garb?

It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?

After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.

Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.

This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.

Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.

No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.

It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.

Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.

Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.

Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.

But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”

Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.

And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.

Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!

Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.

She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.

Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.

It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.

Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.

Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.

Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”

Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.

Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!

The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.

Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.

And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!

Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.

Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.

Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.

“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.

Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.

And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.

I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”

Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.

Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.

Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.

Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.

Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.

Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?

And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?

Is he working with the Gargoyle King?

Other Riverdale Musings

  • Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
  • Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
  • Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.

How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?

Is Jason really alive?

Sound off in the comments!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Witness the Prosecution (4×05)

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Riverdale Witness for the Prosecution Review

Dear Riverdale, you keep getting crazier, and I just can’t quit you.

I’m addicted to the dysfunction… that’s the only logical explanation.

Riverdale delivered another wacky episode in which Jughead almost quit Stonewall Prep (should have followed through), Betty learned a lot about serial killers (and, in turn, about herself), and Archie assumed a role as the town’s vigilante (noble but a wee-bit over the top).

Oh, and we met a second Lodge daughter. Surprise!

I’m going to start with the jaw-dropping ending in which Betty, Archie, and Veronica got pulled out of class and arrested for Jughead’s murder by his father, FP.

But let’s call it out for what it really is — a red herring.

None of them looked shocked that they were caught nor did any of them look truly guilt, which leads me to believe that this is all a hoax and they are helping Jughead fake his own death.

Why? It’s unclear, but it likely has something to do with the secrets that are buried within the confines of Stonewall Prep.

Nothing about that school is normal, and when Jughead suggested dropping out, I was hoping FP would be like “yeah, kid, do it.” Riverdale has killers and all, but the scariest thing is prep school kids with money. Shudder.

The kids at that school, specifically Bret, are hellbent on chasing Jughead away, the teachers are shady (yes, even the ghostwriter behind those Brooks Brothers novels), and Jughead’s getting in over his head with his Stonewall Four investigation.

My theory is that he either uncovered the truth about what happened to those missing students, which now include Moose.

There’s no way in hell the picture Donna showed him of Marmaduke at training was legit.

The other theory focuses on Jughead’s desire to become the next ghostwriter of his beloved mystery franchise.

Jughead’s an extreme person. That’s a quality specific to writers, but especially writers that hail from a messed up town like Riverdale.

It also cannot be a coincidence that the theme of the novel is “perfect murder.”

Faking your death in order to write the best novel is something Jughead would do.

Though, I’m not entirely convinced that there isn’t a twin twist that’ll bring Cole Sprouse’s real-life twin, Dylan Sprouse, into the fold.

There’s no denying that it was Jughead’s body in the morgue… or someone that looked strangely like Jughead.

We also have to submit that final season of Riverdale Season 3 in which Betty, Archie, and Veronica are covered in blood, burning Jughead’s beanie, and vowing to NEVER speak of this moment again.

No one could ever find out about what they did meaning how they helped Jughead “die.”

When you take that clip into consideration and what it’s alluding to, the arrest for Jughead’s murder only makes sense.

As the season goes on, we’ll be filling in all the blanks in between as we try to piece the story together and unravel what really happened to Jughead.

Still, I remain optimistic that he’s alive somewhere because the writers wouldn’t dare kill off a fan favorite.

Betty’s timing to worry about the fact that she might be a killer because of her serial killer genes and because she once put her cat out of her misery was convenient.

Having her responsible for her boyfriend’s murder in the same breath as she explored worries that she might be a murderer seemed almost too coincidental. They wanted you to believe that she was capable, but none of us believe Betty’s responsible of killing people in cold blood, not even Kevin.

The very fact that she worries about being consumed by the darkness and giving into these “darker” urges means she’s nothing like her father.

The gruesome scene of her stoning her cat isn’t even a good example because she didn’t just decide to kill her cat, she was coaxed into it by deranged father.

It’s not a reflection of her mind, it’s a reflection of his and how twisted he was to convince a little girl to do something so grim.

Not to mention there’s the aspect where killing the cat is actually the best course because she put it out of its misery; she did him a favor.

Watching Betty question herself wasn’t as exciting as her finally getting it together to ask the real question: it’s not about whether she’s a serial killer but rather is Charles?

My gut is telling me Charles started this FBI training academy to mess with Betty’s head and to convince his sister that she’s evil.

I don’t know what the motivations are behind it, but everything he’s saying aligns with Betty and he knows it would trigger her.

Charles then one-upped Betty and told her he too carried the serial killer gene, which would have made sense if they shared the same father, but they don’t.

How does he have the gene?

We’re assuming that Betty’s serial killer gene stemmed from Hal, but what if it really comes from Alice?

Regardless, there’s definitely something off about Charles and something that’s worth investigating.

Betty can now go back to her detective roots and figure it out — what does he do all day? Why is he still in Riverdale? What are his true intentions?

Archie made good on his decision to become a vigilante and protect Riverdale, but he should probably rethink the black mask. Running around town with a mask that resembles the Black Hood isn’t going to make people feel safer.  But it is a surefire way to get killed.

His dedication to eliminating Dodger and making the town a safe place for the younger generation but it’s almost too out there.

Archie loves being the hero, but the kids pose a great question: what happens when they all go away to college?

Will Archie stick around simply to babysit everyone?

There wasn’t anything on the Cheryl and Toni front, and though I love both characters, I was grateful. I need a break for Cheryl and her zombie brother, Jason.

Veronica did her best to get her mother out of jail and that included bribing Governor Dooley… again.

Oh, Riverdale — a town where high school seniors get away with blackmailing government officials. Hermione’s case kept taking wrong turns because she was constantly being framed by Hiram Lodge.

When will she and Veronica learn that they don’t stand a chance against him? He has friends in high places.

But while Veronica was in her mother’s corner, Hiram had his other daughter in his corner.

This is a turning point in the Hiram and Veronica relationship.

Up until now, Veronica always had Hiram’s backing and even when she did him wrong, she could do no wrong because she was his only child.

Now, the realization that there is another Lodge daughter means that Veronica’s upper hand is no longer as strong. Hiram has someone else that he can scheme with and use to his advantage and Hermosa is more than willing to play her father’s game; they’re like two peas in a pod.

Could she be more dangerous than Hiram?

It’s safe to assume that she isn’t Hermione’s daughter considering how much she resents both her and Veronica.

Shortly after getting out of prison, Hiram announced his biggest move yet — a run for Mayor, which proves that he’s never going to stop attempting to gain control of Riverdale.

With everything happening in town already, this storyline seems excessive, but they’ll likely find a way to tie it all in so that it makes sense.

Meeting Ronnie’s sister adds a new layer of drama and will really test Veronica’s limits. She wanted to be free of the Lodge name, but now she’s going to see what it truly means to be replaced and not have the protection that comes with that privilege. How do you think she’s going to react?

Other Musings:

  • Jughead was so cute whenever he geeked out about meeting his favorite writers!
  • His grandfather, Forsythe, is alive, right? We’re going to meet him eventually and get the truth about Stonewall Prep?
  • Bret is the biggest douchebag on the planet.
  • I didn’t need the imagery of baby Betty killing Caramel.

What did you think of the episode?

Is Jughead really dead on Riverdale?

 

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Halloween (4×04)

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Riverdale Halloween Review

Riverdale is one town where I’d avoid Halloween like the plague.

It’s bad enough that creepy and terrible things happen there on a daily basis, but a day dedicated to spookiness brings out the worst in the mysterious town.

Some of the storylines, like Veronica’s, were done purely for entertainment value.

There may have been more to the story when it came to her getting attacked by a serial killer while closing up shop at Pops, but since she lit the guy on fire, it’s unlikely that he’ll have a bigger impact on the storyline.

Don’t think for a second that I missed that the man escaped from the same institution, Shady Grove Treatment Center, that Polly’s currently in.

Cheryl’s obsession with Jay Jay took on a life of its own after she tried to fight Toni against burying him.

Toni figured it was better to just have a mummified corpse sitting around Thistlehouse than to continue getting haunted by a doll, who Nana claims is Cheryl and Jason’s triplet whom Cheryl ate in the womb.

But after retrieving Jason, Julian kept popping up and by that time even Cheryl was convinced that Thistlehouse was being haunted.

I wonder where this triplet storyline will go or if, like Veronica’s story, it was used solely as a Halloween plot.

Toni must really love Cheryl to stick around through all this craziness.

If a mummified corpse brother and a vindictive dead brother don’t scare her away, nothing will.

Unsurprisingly, the most popular costumes in Riverdale for the Halloween season drew inspiration from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood.

As you’d imagine, that wasn’t so great for Betty’s PTSD.

And neither was receiving calls from someone claiming to be the Black Hood. I wouldn’t put it past Riverdale to somehow bring Hal back from the dead, but Charles swung by the house and offered up another explanation: the comments were coming from inside Shady Grove Treatment Center, which meant it was likely Polly playing a sick joke on her sister.

However, when Betty called her sister, Polly didn’t seem to know what she was talking about.

Seeing how suspicious Charles is — he definitely has some nefarious motivations if he’s bugged Betty’s phone — I’d say it was probably his twisted joke.

Is he being serious about having her come on-board for the junior FBI program? Is that even a real thing?

Archie spent his Halloween fighting crime like the superhero he was channeling.

I’ll never complain about Archie in tights.

Spending the night protecting the neighborhood kids from Dodger and his gang gave Archie the inspiration to become Riverdale’s vigilante.

Yep, we’re on our way to having a full-blown crossover with Arrowverse.

Jughead had the worst Halloween of them all after he was drugged by one of the students in his writing club (I knew that was going to happen the moment she handed him that coffee), and buried alive in a coffin as a part of some twisted initiation.

My palms were sweating profusely watching all of his scenes. I’m pretty sure that tops everyone’s “biggest fears” list.

There’s no way in hell the professor wasn’t in on that otherwise, he would have been fuming.

Though while Jughead may have survived this vanishing, it’s not looking too good for him in the future.

A flash-forward revealed FP Jones and Betty at the morgue identifying Jughead’s body.

As yes, a quick glance at the body reveals our author friend meets a grim fate soon probably because of the shadiness that engulfs Stonewall Prep.

I wish he’d never gone to that school.

Usually, it’s fun to see a mystery unfold on Riverdale, but it’s not going to be as exciting when we know the outcome is the loss of our beloved Jug.

There’s also a new mystery plaguing Riverdale which involves everyone receiving strange VHS cassette tapes with hours of footage of their house recorded on them.

Who is going through all this trouble to “stalk” people in town? And why?

Other Observations

  • Kevin is a straight-up snitch.
  • There’s something so very strange about Principal Honey. He’s exploiting Kevin’s weakness while making an enemy of Reggie and Cheryl.
  • Alice and FP are living together now, which was haste development, but it seems like they’re all getting along just fine, especially Betty and Jellybean.
  • Riverdale is slowly exposing its fanbase to Katy Keene. This is the first time Veronica has mentioned her gal pal in New York, but maybe this means that Josie won’t be the only one crossing over to the spinoff.
  • Uber exists in Riverdale. Shocking.
  • Poor Polly is going to need a lot of therapy. Did you hear how excited she got when she thought Edgar reached out to her? Poor girl.
  • Moose vanished from Stonewall Prep. While the teacher said it was an urban legend and most of the victims simply dropped out of school, it doesn’t seem like the case with Jughead’s roommate. What happened to Moose?

Did you enjoy the Halloween episode of Riverdale?

For a series that thrives on thrills, a Halloween episode was overdue.

Do you think Jughead is going to die?

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Dog Day Afternoon (4×03)

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Riverdale Dog Day Afternoon

You’d think I’d be used to Riverdale going off the rails by now, but it still manages to surprise me.

Nestled deeply within what seemed like a normal episode, by Riverdale standards that is, was the conclusion of an already outrageous storyline… The Farm.

Now, everything about The Farm has been downright ridiculous, but there was always some believability to it.

Cults exist just as harvesting organs exists.

Maybe not to the degree presented on the series, but it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility.

But how they wrapped up the storyline of The Farm was, well, it was a lot.

After seeing that her FBI brother Charles wouldn’t be much help, Betty rounded up the objects that Edgar requested: 250K dollars (thank god they have V Lodge who a limitless supply of funds), food, water, and a school bus.

It’s a shame they didn’t show us how Betty acquired the school bus, but we’re just left believing that she can do anything she sets her mind too. Especially when her mother’s life is on the line.

Betty, the girl who was smart enough to figure out how to disarm a bomb and stopped it in the knick of time with a hairpin, foolishly drove into the deserted motel where the Farmies were shackled up without any backup.

Let me just stop there for a second. An office full of FBI agents allowed Betty, a high school teen, to diffuse a bomb. And when they thought all hope was lost, she was the only one quick enough to figure something out.

Come on, Riverdale.

Surely, Polly was freaked out about the situation, but Betty could have coaxed her while a professional dealt with it.

Anyways, Betty went in rogue.

She had a whole school bus worth of room and took absolutely none of her friends along for the ride. Not even her brother Charles who could have been on stand-by with the rest of the FBI.

Betty’s known to venture into something without backup, but she needs to be wiser. It’s never worked out well for her.

As always, she ended up paying the price for her mistake when Edgar welcomed her with open arms and Evelyn bashed her upside the head.

Hey, at least she found her mother.

If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, everything that transpired after surely was.

Alice revealed Edgar’s delusional plan for the Farmies: Evelyn was to drive the bus off of a cliff in mass suicide, the two of them were to be strapped to the front of the bus as shields (what?!), while Edgar took off in his self-built rocket.

A ROCKET.

And if you thought the idea was funny, the execution of the rocket was everything.

Honestly, Riverdale writers have lost it. Betty was on an entirely different episode than everyone else.

Naturally, Betty weaseled her way out of being tied up and returned the favor by knocking Evelyn out.

As she rounded up the Farmies — including Mr. Weatherbee, who regained clarity but lost a few fingers — Alice followed Edgar, dressed like Evel Knieval, to the rooftop where he, as I mentioned before, planned to take off in some self-built rocket.

It was his plan to ascend like a god, and he ascended alright when Alice took him out with two shots.

That’s how the scariest storyline of Riverdale ended… with the big bad wearing a costume, getting shot by one of his followers as he gets into his toy rocket.

This is the same man who harvested organs and had an entire FBI division dedicated to stopping him. I mean, what?!

Edgar, it’s been a blast… no pun intended, but Riverdale is a smidge saner without this psychopath running around.

The next time we saw Betty she was back at home wrapped up in Jug’s arms as if her whole Farmie rescue mission was some bad dream. I wish.

Also going on a rogue solo mission without any backup was Archie, who wanted to prove Riverdale’s worth to his mother.

Honestly, none of them ever learn any lessons.

Archie doesn’t know how to keep himself out of trouble. He’s had this vigilante outlook on life that’s really going to get him killed one of these days.

But Mary wasn’t super supportive either.

After Fred’s death, she really tried to convince her son that uprooting his life and moving to Chicago was a better option than just sticking out senior year and hopefully getting a football scholarship.

What’s most frustrating of all is that she didn’t believe in his vision for turning the ring into a rec center for children.

Archie’s dream was noble, and instilled good in a self-destructive town, and yet she tried to tell him his dreams weren’t good or big enough.

A dream that looked after Riverdale just like his father used to. A dream that honored his father’s legacy.

How dare she?

If this generation doesn’t care about the kids, who will?

Archie eventually got the money for another bathroom from Ronnie, although I’m sure that isn’t the end of that “dirty money” storyline, while his mother came around to the idea.

She even offered to help him get a non-profit status, which would help with upkeep costs.

She also planned to leave for Chicago before coming around to the idea of sticking around as if she had some other choice.

She’s his legal guardian — who would take care of him?

Veronica was struggling with separating her identity from her disgraced last name.

Being a Lodge may have had its perks before, but it’s also a curse that doesn’t define who she is or what she believes in.

When Hiram skipped jail and tried to convince her that she’ll always be a Lodge, Veronica became more motivated not to be one.

And as a dig to her father, she changed her name to Veronica Luna, the surname belonging to Hiram’s family, and one he was so ashamed of growing up.

Despite seeing how powerful and capable her father is, Veronica never seizes to stop pushing his buttons.

How far can she push before Hiram cracks? She’s always been shown mercy because she’s his daughter, but something tells me that won’t always be the case.

The most intriguing storyline of this season stems from Jughead’s new school, Constance Billard, er, Stonewall Prep.

The prestigious school is filled with more secrets than Riverdale. 

Bret is a formidable foe for Jughead as his form of fighting is psychological warfare rather than the physical type that Jug is used to.

Jug’s a writer and he’s smart, so it’s exciting to see him flex this part of himself. It’s a change from how he’s handled the Ghoulies or the G&G followers and allows for plenty of character development.

Bret’s also a pompous douchebag who needs to be put in his place, and Jughead’s the perfect person to do it.

Sadly, we know that *something* happens to our beloved Juggie since a flash-forward revealed he goes missing at some point this season and his friends + his police chief dad are wandering the woods looking for him.

I’ll bet all my money on it being Bret. There’s something off about him — he knew Jug, or Forsythe’s, entire history and focused only on the negative aspects to bring him down rather than acknowledging how much of a glow-up his family has been through.

There’s also something off about this school, which recruited Jughead most likely under the pretenses that he’s an incredible writer for some larger purpose. It cannot be a coincidence that his FP’s father attended the university and also disappeared never to be seen again.

Maybe the OG Forsythe and Bret’s family have a feud?

Donna did warn that Bret played dirty.  We all saw a glimpse of that when Bret outed Moose.

The guy has never deserved any of what happened to him and he cannot catch a break.

I also don’t think we can rule out Donna, who gave the warning about Bret and was sleeping with Moose.

Jughead needs to watch his back around everyone.

Every time Cheryl pops up on the screen telling someone not to go downstairs because she’s scared they’re going to find her mummified dead brother, I get nervous.

Just as nervous as Cheryl did when she thought Doug, the night nurse, snuck in and saw Jason.

Her mental state is confusing because Cheryl is cognizant enough to realize that Jason is dead and that no one can see him in this state, and yet, she continues to keep and visit a corpse.

Seriously, Cheryl, we’re worried. She’s losing it fast.

After she found a mouse crawling through Jason’s body (I might throw up), she threw caution to the wind and didn’t even care that Toni saw him.

“Have you met my brother,” she asked her visibly disturbed girlfriend.

Toni loves Cheryl, but if she can’t snap her back into reality, I don’t know how they’re going to overcome this.

Riverdale is celebrating Halloween week with a spooky episode, well, spookier than usual, and it’s possible that not everyone will make it out alive.

It’s one thing when shows do a Halloween episode, it’s another thing when Riverdale, a show with absolutely no boundaries, allows themselves to be even more influenced by supernatural and horror elements.

Riverdale has had its fair share of serial killers, but will All Hallow’s Eve bring forth another one?

Will Jason come back to life?

Amidst all of the jam-packed storylines was the quintessential high school storyline — a shirtless car wash.

There was also a mention of “triplets” as Nana Rose gazed into the fire. Cheryl clarified that the “twins” Dagwood and Juniper were sleeping in the nursery, but I don’t think those are the twins she’s referring to. Could there be a third Blossom sibling in our midst that Cheryl wasn’t aware of? Oh, the possibilities.

Riverdale is batshit crazy, and we love it.

What did you think of the episode?

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