Half the time, I have no idea what is happening on Riverdale, but I love it.
Maybe if I snorted some Jingle Jangle — or whatever it is that you’re supposed to do with the drug — I would be more “woke.”
But I have no idea where to buy JJ — the Riverdale neighborhood in town doesn’t sell it — so I was just as confused as Betty was when Jughead rambled on about G&G being engrained in the town and/or a metaphor for their daily lives.
I think he was trying to say that they’ve been playing an off-board version of the game unknowingly for a really long time.
And hey, maybe he’s right.
After the revelation that Warden Norton was playing the game and relying on what it told him to do with his juvie prisoners, I’m willing to bet money that Hiram Lodge is the Gargoyle King and the gamemaster then and now.
Think about it — out of that whole group, the only one deranged enough to use a game to control people is Hiram. He has control of the rest of the town, maybe it’s through the game.
Do I think that Hiram is the one dressed up in the costume or the GK, who probably does overtime as the Dark Lord on Chilling Adventures of Sabrina? Nope. He has people that do it for him, obviously.
Why else would the Warden take such a vested interest in Archie? He didn’t even call him by his real name when Archie escaped, he referred to him as the Red Paladin.
Also, I’m having some trouble keeping up with the rules of the game but in order to ascend to the highest level are you supposed to drink the blue poison? Was the Warden being rewarded? Because his orders were clearly to kill Archie and he didn’t get it done.
This was by far the most creative Riverdale episode bringing to life Jughead’s wild theories that the game is real by paralleling the game Jughead, Cheryl, Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea were playing to Archie’s rescue mission.
Veronica is a boss babe for breaking her man out like some small-town version of Prison Break, but Betty is the real badass. Did you see her in that Serpent jacket channeling young Alice and outrunning the guards on Juggie’s bike? Yas, queen. She did that!
It was also a nice touch to have the teens form a pact around Archie’s escape just like their parents did as the Midnight Club. I especially liked that the Northsiders and the Serpents all came together as one to rally around their friend. Oh, how far we’ve come.
Do you think anyone will find Archie before he has time to heal or catch up on all these chaos like Dilton’s bunker, Dilton’s death, and a game that’s taken the small town by storm?
- Joaquin is clearly playing the game too. When he said he joined another gang, I’m assuming he meant a G&G team. He also kissed and stabbed Archie because the Warden promised him he’d ascend. I’m actually concerned about him.
- Toni and Cheryl are goals.
- I can’t figure out why Hiram is so obsessed with Archie. It seems that there’s more to it then just hatred because he’s dating Veronica.
- Anyone notice that since Camila Mendes (Veronica) and Charles Melton (Reggie) began dating, he’s shared a lot more screentime with her? Also, he’s such a dumb jock at times.
- Mayor McCoy and Sheriff Keller are getting married. I’d say things are moving rather quickly but since they were together back in the day, it makes a bit more sense.
- MadDog is ripped as all hell. There’s no way he couldn’t rip all of those guards to shreds.
What did you think of the episode? Do you like the G&G storyline? Is Jughead way in over his head? Was he just hallucinating the Gargoyle King in the forest cause he’d been running on barely any sleep?
Where do you think we go from here? And where are the members of The Farm?
Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)
I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.
These writers, they’re good.
They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.
All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.
There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.
Who is the Gargoyle King?
After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.
The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?
Yes, the very same.
Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.
How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.
It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.
Was he always wearing his GK garb?
It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?
After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.
Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.
This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.
Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.
No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.
It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.
Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.
Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.
Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.
But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”
Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.
And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.
Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!
Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.
She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.
Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.
It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.
Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.
Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.
Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.
Unfortunately, it was too late.
Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”
Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.
Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!
The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.
Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.
And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!
Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.
Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.
Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.
“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.
Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.
And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.
I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”
Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.
Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.
Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.
Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.
Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.
Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?
And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?
Is he working with the Gargoyle King?
Other Riverdale Musings
- Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
- Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
- Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.
How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?
Is Jason really alive?
Sound off in the comments!
Riverdale – Jawbreaker (3×18)
Is Riverdale trying to convince us the cultish Farm isn’t all that bad?
Nah, they would never.
Betty may have returned her mom to Evelyn and Edgar Evernever, but she doesn’t buy into The Farm’s innocence or their good intentions.
Despite her best efforts to show her mother the truth that The Farm is brainwashing her, Betty simply realized that Alice isn’t ready to accept the truth. And even if she was, she doesn’t want that truth from Betty, who she referred to as “dark like her father” and “angry” on the Farm’s tapes.
Alice doesn’t paint Betty in the best light by saying she’s afraid of her daughter especially now that she pushed and physically threatened Evelyn. The trauma of losing Charles, not once but twice because of imposter Chick, and the realization that she was married to a cold-blooded killer has really done a number on Alice. She believed she was a lost cause, but found guidance in the Farm, a group that can apparently ‘heal’ and fulfills her in way that Betty apparently can’t.
Alice’s desire to erase the pain and mistakes of her past is understandable, but she’s also erasing everything that has made her the strong and independent woman she is today. Especially because she’s “engaged’ to Edgar. I doubt she’s actually in a romantic relationship with him, but making her believe that she shares something special and unique with Edgar ensures her loyalty and their stronghold over her. She’s going to become too reliant on The Farm and by the time she realizes it, it’ll be too late.
But don’t be mistaken – they still prey on emotionally unstable victims, which is exactly how Cheryl became a Farmie Queen B. I think Cheryl’s disillusion is the most frustrating to me because she was always the leader, but it makes sense if you see through the facade. Cheryl has kept up appearances and a brave face, but under that red lipstick is a world of pain and suffering. She never fully recovered from losing Jason or Clifford Blossom and her mother’s always been rather vile towards her. She’s broken by her past and much like with Alice, the Farm is taking advantage of that. Cheryl has also always wanted to ‘fit in’ somewhere which has been depicted by the plenty of cliques — her Vixens, Toni’s Pretty Poison’s and now, The Farm.
Understandably, Toni wasn’t happy with Cheryl’s involvement and tried to place the blame on Betty. But Betty was in the same boat with her mother and instead of fighting, the two ended up working together to save their loved ones. Betty’s been trying to find the perfect person to infiltrate The Farm, but Toni is the most unsuspecting because she’s loyal to Cheryl. Almost to a fault.
Evelyn and Edgar, beware.
Since there’s no cracking the exterior of The Farm and digging up their secrets, Toni has a tall order ahead of her to bring them down from the inside. One major hold that The Farm has over Alice and Cheryl is that they give them the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. Since Betty isn’t wooed by their false promises, they aren’t afraid to be transparent with her.
Edgar admitted that Cheryl and Alice don’t actually see the dead, but rather, a hallucination that allows them to heal. Evelyn has also made it clear that they’ve made copies of the tapes in case they have to blackmail them. They blatantly admit to being just as manipulative and shady as Betty calls them out to be, yet still attempted to hold themselves in a high regard when Edgar was explaining the origins of The Farm. Apparently, he’s always wanted to help people and using their deepest, darkest secrets against them if one way to do it.
However, The Farm may be the least of Riverdale’s worries with the rise of the new Gargoyle King. Baby Teeth’s gruesome murder (they pulled out his TEETH!) was just the first step in the Gargoyle King’s plan according to Kurtz. Jughead and FP joined forces to stop the GK once and for all, but they may be in way over their heads.
Not only does the GK have a dedicated following, but he’s also dishing out tainted Fizzle Rocks, and has his sights set on Jellybean Jones. The moment I saw her playing the game with Ricky, Joaquin’s brother who tried to kill Archie, I knew it was bad news. Why does the Gargoyle King want with Jellybean? Why does he want to meet her? And who is the Gargoyle King now?
The Fizzle Rocks Kurtz was dealing was laced with something reminiscent of bath salts, causing people to foam at the mouth and become dangerously violent. Great, just what Riverdale needed. Given that Jughead’s mother, Gladys, is the drug kingpin in Riverdale, I’m surprised Jughead remained loyal and protected her secret instead of outing her to FP. Why is he protecting her? Wouldn’t FP knowing that Gladys may be the source of their problems help them stop it? Once FP finds out Jughead knew more than he was letting on, he’s going to be furious.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kurtz was slanging tainted stuff, working for the GK, and made Jellybean a target. Could it be that Gladys is the new Gargoyle King also?
The Gryphons and Gargoyle’s storyline has dragged on for most of the season infiltrating almost every plotline, yet, I don’t see the point anymore nor does there seem to be a resolution. What started off as something so promising in terms of storytelling has fallen flat and become a thorn for not only the audience but the characters.
The tainted Fizzle Rocks aren’t just a problem on the streets, they’ve even made their way into Elio’s elite boxing match. Elio is the scummiest of characters because he has no honor; he’ll do anything to win, but he doesn’t even play the game well. Archie scored a rematch with Ronson after Ronnie promised to help him get his boys into Elio’s elite match.
Elio allowed Ronson to fight Archie but only because he saw it as an opportunity to get back at Ronnie and get rid of Archie by doping up Ronson with the tainted drugs. Mad Dog tried to warn Archie that Ronson was taking something that put him in full rage mode, but even with that fear, Archie fought and won with honor. He’s never been one to cave to temptation or cheat to win, and that’s what I respect about Archie most of all.
Admittedly, I did expect Archie to either end up in the hospital or call the fight. I have no doubt he’s a skilled boxer with professional technique, but I don’t think he’d be able to beat someone hyped up on angry pills.
Archie’s good at a lot of things, but he’s exceptionally good at making himself a target. Only recently was he cleared of the Red Paladin burden, but it seems like Elio is going to want some revenge. Riverdale seems to be a bit confused about which relationships it wants to nurture.
Is anyone else slightly concerned that Ronnie and Archie are once again “Bonnie & Clyde-ing” it up? She not only helped him with his boxing studio, she even gave him a Pops sponsored robe and cheered him on from the sidelines. The lines between professional and personal will blur quickly — they almost kissed after working together for a few hours!
Josie and Archie just got together and he was so into making things work despite their circumstances, but this week, it almost seemed like Josie didn’t exist. And despite Archie’s relationship with Josie, it seems like he’s still harnessing some feelings for his ex. Even Josie picked up on it and noticed Veronica was way too invested in Archie and his match.
Will Archie and Ronnie get back together? And is it a good idea? Archie deserves better unless Veronica has done away with her blind loyalty to Hiram Lodge. Remember, that’s what almost got Archie killed last time.
Week to week, Riverdale remains entertaining, but when I look back at the season, I feel like we’re constantly rehashing the same Gargoyle King, Farm and Fizzle Rocks storyline without any real outcome. There better be some major resolution and revalations by the time the season finale airs.
What do you think, Cravers?
Will Toni and Betty find a way to take down The Farm?
Will Jughead and FP save Jellybean?
Will Archie stop being the most hated person in Riverdale?
Riverdale – The Master (3×17)
Oh, have I missed Chad Michael Murray’s sweet face on my TV screen.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the real shocker from tonight’s episode: The Farm brings back dead people.
After sending Cheryl undercover, which sadly backfired, Betty found out what The Farm’s hook is on all these impressionable and lost souls in Riverdale.
Cheryl went in with an agenda but came out completely enveloped with The Farm’s teachings much like Alice, Polly, and Kevin.
She told Betty that The Farm gave her back her brother, Jason. Betty, just as confused as we were, questioned this statement.
Did Cheryl hear Jason? See a picture of him? Nope. According to Cheryl she was reunited with her brother.
For a moment there, I truly believed that maybe The Farm had faked Jason’s death this whole time, but when Alice Cooper admitted to seeing her dead son Chic, it became evident that The Farm is manipulating their member’s thoughts and showing them what they want to see.
Are they being slipped some hallucinogenic drug to make them see their dead loved ones? Is it the Fizzle Rocks like the Sisters of Quiet Mercy used to have?
There’s a slight possibility that somehow, someway both Jason and Chic are alive and that they aren’t lying about everything. How crazy would it be for Betty to realize she’s been wrong this whole time?
Maybe the reason no one is seeing just how creepy The Farm is is because they aren’t and it’s all just in Betty’s head?
I can’ t wait to find out more about how they are accomplishing this, but it explains why they need to know everyone’s deepest and darkest secrets before accepting them into the Cult.
I have to point out that Betty and The Farm may not be all that different. Betty said The Farm preys on “emotionally vulnerable” people, but that’s exactly what she did with Cheryl. And to further parallel the Farm, she also got Cheryl on board by dangling Jason in front of her.
Is it a coincidence that Betty’s tactics are much like The Farm’s? Maybe that’s why she’s able to see through all their bullshit?
Cheryl’s dabbling with The Farm got us closer to the elusive Edgar Evernever, played by WB/CW heartthrob and the aforementioned Chad Michael Murray.
Edgar isn’t what I imagined him to be, but you have to admit there’s a charm about him that explains why all the ladies and gay guys are falling for The Farm’s agenda.
In what may be the most self-aware moment, Cheryl counts Edgar amongst the “Hot Dads of Riverdale.”
How old does it make you feel that CMM is considered a ‘dad’ of a high school student on a teenage show? Same.
Upon finding out that Farm members can see dead people, Betty asks her mother to set up a meeting between her and Edgar.
I half hoped she would have asked to meet her brother just to see what Alice and Cheryl were really referring to, but poking the belly of the beast seems just fine for now.
In her first sit down with Edgar, he asks Betty what she wants to know and she responds with, “everything.”
Betty is one brave soul. She’s basically infiltrating a dangerous cult, one that has managed to get a hold of those she holds dearest, all by herself.
No one came with Betty to make sure Edgar didn’t try anything funny.
No one was there when Betty utilized hilariously outdated technology to tap into Cheryl’s conversation with Edgar.
She’s on her own here, which worries me because taking down a huge organization with a lot of reach isn’t going to be easy.
While we’re finally getting all the answers to our pressing Farm questions, there are a few other subplots happening in the background.
Jughead vowed to take down his mother’s drug operation and he’s not going to let anything stand in his way, including his father.
His relationship with his mother is strained because he tried to cross her, and he’s in a conflict with FP after he deemed the Serpent’s unprepared to hit the ground running in his operation.
Can we focus on this for just one second? The Serpents being police deputies is ridiculous and may be the most unrealistic thing to happen in Riverdale thus far. And I promise you, things have gotten weird.
Honestly, is FP even properly trained to be a Sheriff? Why doesn’t Sheriff Keller take over his job again?
Jughead isn’t one to follow rules so instead of taking a step back and letting his pops figure it out he rallies the Serpent’s to sniff out the spots from which the Gargoyle’s are dealing.
They’re able to clean up every corner except for the last one which botches FP’s plan to finding Kurtz, the drug cook.
FP is pissed that Jughead ignored him and orders him and the Serpent’s to stay away from all things related to drugs.
Why doesn’t Jughead just come clean to his father? He’s not doing him any favors by withholding who the drug dealer is and there isn’t much of a relationship to salvage with Gladys. Just pull the bandaid off, boy.
For a while now, Jughead has been leading the Serpent’s but the appeal of a badass gang that they had has been lost.
But when Archie’s friend Mad Dog figures out the drug lab is in his grandmother and baby brother’s building, the Serpents team with the freshly acquitted L&L prisoners to take down the Gargoyle’s.
Unfortunately, despite their massive team, the Gargoyle’s outnumbered them and came in guns a blazing.
Juggy may have gotten his hands on Kurtz, but he lost him after he “ascended” out the window using Jug as his landing pad.
After seeing just how messed up the Gargoyle’s are now, I have to ask why Gladys is still using them for her drug operation.
Gryphons and Gargoyle’s is still a popular game though now it represents the battle between the two gangs.
After their raid, the Serpents receive a Quest Card with Baby Teeth’s tooth inside. And sure enough, FP finds Baby Teeth as deep in the forest as a sacrifice to the Gargoyle King.
My biggest takeaway from all of this is that there are other cops and possibly agents in Riverdale aside from FP Jones. That’s comforting.
I’m ready to put this G&G/ Fizzle Rocks story to bed, Riverdale.
Archie gets a collect call from Mad Dog who is worried that they are all going to be transferred to Hiram Lodge’s new prison where they’ll be forced to fight again.
How is it that Hiram didn’t learn his lesson the first time?
Archie is always ready to stick up for his friends so he briefly reunites with Veronica to bribe Governor Dooley into signing their pardon or else they’ll take the story to the press.
At this point, I was just shocked they knew of towns outside of Riverdale that they could contact. It doesn’t seem like Alice Cooper and The Register would be willing to write the expose!
Archie brought all the guys who had nowhere to go to his gym, gifted to him by Hiram Lodge, and shooed away Elio who was looking for prospective fighters.
Sadly, Mad Dog fell into Elio’s trap and sold his soul for a nice home in the Northside for his family. Let’s see what he’ll be required to do to pay up.
After proving that exes can still work together, Veronica pulled all the strings to get her mother and father back together. She even went as far as sending her mother dead fish so Hiram would stay with his wife and protect her from the mafia.
Hiram didn’t give into Ronnie’s demands, but he did annul the marriage instead of going for a divorce which makes it less public and ensures Hermione will remain under his protection.
In another self-aware moment, Veronica finally admitted that her father tried to kill Archie and was the reason for their breakup.
Her outlook on ‘family’ would be sweet if her family cared about each other at all, but instead, she just looks like an idiot telling Hiram she mistakenly chose him and the family over Archie.
Hiram’s response when she called him out for attempted murder on the man she loved was “it’s water under the bridge.”
Seriously, who even says that?
Veronica has a lot of emotional baggage she needs to work out. For starters, she needs to stop romanticizing her toxic family environment and get her head on straight.
She’s holding onto beliefs she held in high regard when she was a child, but she’s no longer a child and she should see that some people just aren’t good for each other.
Reggie did the right thing by giving her space. I’d say she never even got over Archie she just accepted their Romeo and Juliet situation for what it was.
Overall, there are a lot of moving pieces in Riverdale and it’s difficult to dissect all the things the writers are throwing at us.
Heck, I’m struggling to figure out what’s real and what’s fake at this point.
The entertainment factor is there, but I’ll be damned if I know what Riverdale is doing or what their game plan is.
So, instead, I’ll go back to fawning over Chad Michael Murray.
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