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Riverdale – The Red Dahlia (3×11)

Credit: Riverdale/ The CW

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Riverdale is a wicked crime town, and no one is innocent. Not Betty, not Jughead, not Archie, and definitely not Veronica.

“The Red Dahlia,” a term Betty used on Penelope in this episode makes the point that the parents are all to blame for the dysfunction and murder.

Though the plots have become twisted and tangled that it may sometimes become a little difficult to follow along, the point being drive home is that Hermione and Penelope are working together to take over Hiram Lodge’s empire.

Penelope was revealed as not only Clifford’s killer but Daryl and Claudius’ as well. Her storyline is very straightforward — she takes out the bad men.

Clifford was responsible for Jason’s death while Claudius was responsible for poisoning Sweetwater River thus leading to seizures in the high school.

Now, how does Hermione play into all of this?

Her web of lies is a bit more complex.

As we know, Riverdale writers love playing with the structure of an episode and Jughead’s ‘who-dun-it’ film noir vibe gave this town even more, er, charm.

Jughead doesn’t strike me as the type of guy eager to find Hiram Lodge’s shooter, however, when Veronica asks sweetly, his crime-solving and investigative reporter senses began tingling and it was an offer he couldn’t pass up.

Much like the rest of us, Veronica assumed her mother was responsible for shooting her father.

And she was technically wrong.

While Hermione didn’t do the crime, she did place the order.

FP Jones confessed to killing Hermione in exchange for the Sherriff’s position.

Now, admittedly, this wasn’t much of a surprise. Much of the town has a bone to pick with Hiram, but there are two dads in particular that really want revenge for how he’s treated their sons — Fred and FP.

Fred may have threated Hiram in the last episode, but he doesn’t have the guts to carry something like that out.

But FP? Yeah, that dude has it in him.

FP believed the Sheriff position would ensure his safety is Hermione tried to double-cross him, which she definitely attempted, but Jughead was one step ahead of them all.

After meeting with Hermione, he didn’t necessarily trust her and her attempts at steering Juggy in a different direction to Hiram’s mistress didn’t absolve her of anything.

Jughead had his Serpent’s follow her and what they found out had the ability to shake Riverdale to its core: Sheriff Minetta, previously believed to have been beheaded by the Man in Black, was as alive as ever and having an affair with Hermione.

What’s worse? Hermione wanted him to go finish off her husband with a cop’s gun so she could pin the blame on FP.

Look, I underestimated Hermione — that lady is wicked.

Minetta isn’t the first person to turn up alive in Riverdale after believing to be dead, however.

Tallboy resurrected for a bit as the Gargoyle King only to end up dead again this time at the hands of the Sweet Pea and Fangs.

Jughead and FP were presented with the opportunity to frame someone that’s already dead with the attempted attack on Hiram, which evidently angered Madam Mayor.

Another hiccup in Hermione’s plan? Archie Andrews.

Archie’s hatred for the Man in Black actually ended up saving his life which is something neither she, nor we, nor he (Archie) expected.

Archie thought that killing Hiram would somehow put an end to his spiraling. I appreciate the effort, but man Archie, get it together.

Archie was never going to go through with killing Hiram, but at the very least the moment showed us that this isn’t the optimistic and doe-eyed man we met in the first season.

He’s been through a lot and that’s changed him.

However, while sneaking into Hiram’s room in a completely deserted hospital room (seriously, after they mentioned jobs Hiram rarely go unfinished, you’d think the hospital at least be staffed) he botches Minetta’s plans to off Hiram as a favor to Hermione.

Archie is back on the hero train, y’all!

Veronica was grateful, but she still had a lot to take care of.

She was basically upkeeping the family’s mafia status to prevent the vultures from taking over.

Thankfully, she had Smithers and Reggie to help her with it, and you have to admit there’s something intriguing about Reggie posing as the Man in Black. Is this a possible foreshadowing for what’s to come with Ronnie’s relationship?

The main course constituted of dealing with the Fizzle Rocks factory situation.

Both the prison and the Maple Club were pumping out the drugs, which Hermione claimed to know nothing about.

She told Veronica that the quarantine was a smokescreen to cleanly and swiftly dismantle production, however, Hiram lied to her and consolidated everything into the prison.

Hermione is interested in selling the factory off and getting a good chunk of change, but that doesn’t eliminate the problem — drugs would still continue to be pumped out into Riverdale.

Veronica has a much better idea of just destroying the drugs and the factory altogether. It’s a bold choice as it does basically burn all of Hiram’s investments, not to mention screws out a buyer. I wonder how Hiram will react once he finds out.

Outing Tallboy as the Gargoyle King was pretty lame, but I’m wondering if it was a red herring and Hermione is the real master manipulator.

After Minetta failed to kill Hiram and her plans were thwarted by Archie, FP and Jughead, Hermione ruthlessly had to cut looses ends and shot Minetta point-blank.

Who knew she had it in her?

Kelly Ripa’s appearance as Hiram’s mistress was underwhelming.

Her acting wasn’t good at all, and during her scene with Jughead, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but that.

But also adding her into the narrative simply to explain that she faked the water reports so that Hiram could continue operating his drug factory was lame.

Will see more of her?

Penelope may have inadvertently confessed to being a killer, although serial killer is pushing it, Betty isn’t any better.

In fact, lecturing Penelope was very hypocritical of her since she basically sold out Chic to the Black Hood.

And Penelope made sure to let her know if she turned her in, she would turn Betty in.

I still don’t understand the point of Hal and Betty’s meetings unless they are showing us that Betty’s beginning to understand why people become deranged in crime town.

In the end, everyone was at a stalemate.

Penelope made sure Betty wouldn’t turn her in because if she did, she’d turn Betty in for Chic’s death.

Hermione confessed to everything, but Jughead couldn’t report her because she promised to take his father down with him.

And Archie and Hiram may have made up, but where do they go from here?

Hiram was thankful, obviously, and Archie was so stunned by his own actions, he agreed to a truce.

Do I really think that Hiram would just have a change of heart? He searched near and far to get his hands on Archie so it seems unlikely that he’d just let it all go.

The only way Hiram would let his vendetta go is if he’s benefitting from it in some way.

What has Archie agreed to now?

Archie needs a sense of direction because as it stands, he himself isn’t even sure if he loves or loathes Hiram.

Maybe Josie’s interest in him and his excitement to return to “jamming” out will bring back the old Archie?

If Josie is about to be Archie’s new love interest, I’ll stan it as long as it gives her more free time.

However, she’s too sweet and innocent to corrupt so please don’t go that route!

Are we at the end of Hiram Lodge?

What happens now that Hermione has taken the reigns? And where the hell are those weirdos from The Farm?

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Fall TV Preview: Riverdale Season 4 Trailer Reveals Jughead is Missing

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The Riverdale Season 4 Trailer is Here & Jughead is Missing

The Riverdale trailer for season 4 is equal parts sexy and mysterious (what the hell happened to Jughead?!)

The series creators promised the season would be more high-school oriented giving it a “season 1” vibe following a dark, twisted, and oftentimes, ridiculous (we still loved it) G&G/ The Farm storyline on season 3.

And while they’re making good on that promise — we see Cheryl and the like prancing around the halls of Riverdale High — the show still capitalizes on the darker undertones and secrets.

This is a town that thrives on murder, and that’s never going to change.

The teens grapple with a pretty daunting realization — they’re going to have to part ways after senior year.

“Isn’t it crazy? In just nine-months, life as we know it will be over,” Veronica (Camila Mendes) muses without realizing the statement is more ominous than she intended.

The trailer reveals that one favorite may not make it through their senior year alive as the whole town embarks on a search mission through the volatile woods of Riverdale.

Who are they looking for? Our very own Jughead Jones.

Fans expected a rocky season for Jug following the cliffhanger of season 3, which saw him missing as Betty, Veronica and Archie cleaned up the blood from their clothes, but this has us officially worried.

Later in the trailer, we hear Jughead’s screams as he begs for “help” and tries to break out of what sounds like a car trunk.

What happened to Jughead? And is his disappearance linked to whatever happened in the final episode?

Other major moments in the trailer include Betty getting clobbered over the head from behind by an unknown figure (she’s after the Farm so it could be Evelyn Evernever), crime scene photos that make Betty gasp “oh my god,” a scantily dressed Veronica performing some pussycat dolls-esque routine on stage as she assures that she’s “no stranger to scandal,” and a bunch of smokin’ sex scenes with our three favorite ships: Choni, Bughead, and Varchie.

Yep, sounds like senior year!

Not spotted in the video: Alice Cooper, who we found out is infiltrating The Farm, anyone from The Farm (Chad Michael Murray, where ya at?), Kevin, also with the damn Farm, and Betty’s real brother, Chic, who was introduced in the finale as an FBI agent working with Alice to take down The Farm.

Riverdale premies October 9th on The CW!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)

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riverdale the dark secret of harvest house Review

I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.

These writers, they’re good.

They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.

All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.

There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.

Who is the Gargoyle King?

After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.

Come again?

The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?

Yes, the very same.

Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.

How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.

It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.

Was he always wearing his GK garb?

It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?

After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.

Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.

This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.

Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.

No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.

It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.

Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.

Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.

Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.

But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”

Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.

And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.

Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!

Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.

She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.

Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.

It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.

Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.

Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.

Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”

Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.

Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!

The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.

Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.

And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!

Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.

Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.

Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.

“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.

Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.

And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.

I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”

Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.

Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.

Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.

Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.

Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.

Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?

And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?

Is he working with the Gargoyle King?

Other Riverdale Musings

  • Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
  • Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
  • Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.

How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?

Is Jason really alive?

Sound off in the comments!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Jawbreaker (3×18)

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Riverdale Jawbreaker Review

Is Riverdale trying to convince us the cultish Farm isn’t all that bad?

Nah, they would never.

Betty may have returned her mom to Evelyn and Edgar Evernever, but she doesn’t buy into The Farm’s innocence or their good intentions.

Despite her best efforts to show her mother the truth that The Farm is brainwashing her, Betty simply realized that Alice isn’t ready to accept the truth. And even if she was, she doesn’t want that truth from Betty, who she referred to as “dark like her father” and “angry” on the Farm’s tapes.

Alice doesn’t paint Betty in the best light by saying she’s afraid of her daughter especially now that she pushed and physically threatened Evelyn. The trauma of losing Charles, not once but twice because of imposter Chick, and the realization that she was married to a cold-blooded killer has really done a number on Alice. She believed she was a lost cause, but found guidance in the Farm, a group that can apparently ‘heal’ and fulfills her in way that Betty apparently can’t.

Alice’s desire to erase the pain and mistakes of her past is understandable, but she’s also erasing everything that has made her the strong and independent woman she is today. Especially because she’s “engaged’ to Edgar. I doubt she’s actually in a romantic relationship with him, but making her believe that she shares something special and unique with Edgar ensures her loyalty and their stronghold over her. She’s going to become too reliant on The Farm and by the time she realizes it, it’ll be too late.

But don’t be mistaken – they still prey on emotionally unstable victims, which is exactly how Cheryl became a Farmie Queen B. I think Cheryl’s disillusion is the most frustrating to me because she was always the leader, but it makes sense if you see through the facade. Cheryl has kept up appearances and a brave face, but under that red lipstick is a world of pain and suffering. She never fully recovered from losing Jason or Clifford Blossom and her mother’s always been rather vile towards her. She’s broken by her past and much like with Alice, the Farm is taking advantage of that. Cheryl has also always wanted to ‘fit in’ somewhere which has been depicted by the plenty of cliques — her Vixens, Toni’s Pretty Poison’s and now, The Farm.

Understandably, Toni wasn’t happy with Cheryl’s involvement and tried to place the blame on Betty. But Betty was in the same boat with her mother and instead of fighting, the two ended up working together to save their loved ones. Betty’s been trying to find the perfect person to infiltrate The Farm, but Toni is the most unsuspecting because she’s loyal to Cheryl. Almost to a fault.

Evelyn and Edgar, beware.

Since there’s no cracking the exterior of The Farm and digging up their secrets, Toni has a tall order ahead of her to bring them down from the inside. One major hold that The Farm has over Alice and Cheryl is that they give them the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. Since Betty isn’t wooed by their false promises, they aren’t afraid to be transparent with her.

Edgar admitted that Cheryl and Alice don’t actually see the dead, but rather, a hallucination that allows them to heal. Evelyn has also made it clear that they’ve made copies of the tapes in case they have to blackmail them. They blatantly admit to being just as manipulative and shady as Betty calls them out to be, yet still attempted to hold themselves in a high regard when Edgar was explaining the origins of The Farm. Apparently, he’s always wanted to help people and using their deepest, darkest secrets against them if one way to do it.

However, The Farm may be the least of Riverdale’s worries with the rise of the new Gargoyle King. Baby Teeth’s gruesome murder (they pulled out his TEETH!) was just the first step in the Gargoyle King’s plan according to Kurtz. Jughead and FP joined forces to stop the GK once and for all, but they may be in way over their heads. 

Not only does the GK have a dedicated following, but he’s also dishing out tainted Fizzle Rocks, and has his sights set on Jellybean Jones. The moment I saw her playing the game with Ricky, Joaquin’s brother who tried to kill Archie, I knew it was bad news. Why does the Gargoyle King want with Jellybean? Why does he want to meet her? And who is the Gargoyle King now?

The Fizzle Rocks Kurtz was dealing was laced with something reminiscent of bath salts, causing people to foam at the mouth and become dangerously violent. Great, just what Riverdale needed. Given that Jughead’s mother, Gladys, is the drug kingpin in Riverdale, I’m surprised Jughead remained loyal and protected her secret instead of outing her to FP. Why is he protecting her? Wouldn’t FP knowing that Gladys may be the source of their problems help them stop it? Once FP finds out Jughead knew more than he was letting on, he’s going to be furious.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kurtz was slanging tainted stuff, working for the GK, and made Jellybean a target. Could it be that Gladys is the new Gargoyle King also?

The Gryphons and Gargoyle’s storyline has dragged on for most of the season infiltrating almost every plotline, yet, I don’t see the point anymore nor does there seem to be a resolution. What started off as something so promising in terms of storytelling has fallen flat and become a thorn for not only the audience but the characters.

The tainted Fizzle Rocks aren’t just a problem on the streets, they’ve even made their way into Elio’s elite boxing match. Elio is the scummiest of characters because he has no honor; he’ll do anything to win, but he doesn’t even play the game well. Archie scored a rematch with Ronson after Ronnie promised to help him get his boys into Elio’s elite match.

Elio allowed Ronson to fight Archie but only because he saw it as an opportunity to get back at Ronnie and get rid of Archie by doping up Ronson with the tainted drugs. Mad Dog tried to warn Archie that Ronson was taking something that put him in full rage mode, but even with that fear, Archie fought and won with honor. He’s never been one to cave to temptation or cheat to win, and that’s what I respect about Archie most of all.

Admittedly, I did expect Archie to either end up in the hospital or call the fight. I have no doubt he’s a skilled boxer with professional technique, but I don’t think he’d be able to beat someone hyped up on angry pills.

Archie’s good at a lot of things, but he’s exceptionally good at making himself a target. Only recently was he cleared of the Red Paladin burden, but it seems like Elio is going to want some revenge. Riverdale seems to be a bit confused about which relationships it wants to nurture.

Is anyone else slightly concerned that Ronnie and Archie are once again “Bonnie & Clyde-ing” it up? She not only helped him with his boxing studio, she even gave him a Pops sponsored robe and cheered him on from the sidelines. The lines between professional and personal will blur quickly — they almost kissed after working together for a few hours!

Josie and Archie just got together and he was so into making things work despite their circumstances, but this week, it almost seemed like Josie didn’t exist. And despite Archie’s relationship with Josie, it seems like he’s still harnessing some feelings for his ex. Even Josie picked up on it and noticed Veronica was way too invested in Archie and his match.

Will Archie and Ronnie get back together? And is it a good idea? Archie deserves better unless Veronica has done away with her blind loyalty to Hiram Lodge. Remember, that’s what almost got Archie killed last time.

Week to week, Riverdale remains entertaining, but when I look back at the season, I feel like we’re constantly rehashing the same Gargoyle King, Farm and Fizzle Rocks storyline without any real outcome. There better be some major resolution and revalations by the time the season finale airs.

What do you think, Cravers?

Will Toni and Betty find a way to take down The Farm?

Will Jughead and FP save Jellybean?

Will Archie stop being the most hated person in Riverdale?

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