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Riverdale The Wicked and the Divine Riverdale The Wicked and the Divine

Riverdale

Riverdale – The Wicked and the Divine (2×12)

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Season one introduced us to the syrupy sex-infused strange small town. So many S’s.

The only way you could describe it was “Riverdale.” It had this essence about it; this quirkiness found in ghastly horror comedies.

And that’s why we loved it. But there comes a point when something becomes “too much.” Season 2 is the perfect example of Riverdale crossing the line into weirdly, funky, unenticing Riverdale.

These teens aren’t simply attending school and attending cheer/football practice. They’re juggling way too much for any 16-year-old. Betty is webcaming before school, Veronica is dipping her hands into the dirty family business, Archie is assisting an FBI agent, Jughead is trying to sink his fangs further into the Serpents, Kevin is probably still frequenting the woods and Cheryl is missing in action. Like I said, a lot is happening.

And I didn’t even touch the adults, who are by far worse than the teenagers.

Let’s see, Hiram Lodge is literally caring more about what Archie thinks of him than about anything else. No one knows what Fred’s really up to these days, but it seems business is churning. As for Betty’s parents, well, Hal gave Alice an ultimatum and she chose Chic so he packed up his bags and went to some generic version of AirBnb. Poor Hal. At least now he has a place to hide out with Penelope Blossom. Still gross.

Bizzare occurrences are the norm in this town, however, nothing was weirder than Veronica denouncing Satan without actually shunning Hiram Lodge and partnering up with Josie to sing Bittersweet Symphony at her confirmation. It does NOT get more Riverdale than that.

Well, unless you take into consideration Veronica’s weird confession, where she tried to confess all her sins. And really, she didn’t even touch the tip of the iceberg here.

The event was an excuse to gather the Lodge’s closest family + all of Hiram’s mafia boys under one roof. Obviously, mayhem was inevitable and that FBI agent, who is slowly convincing me that he’s a real person, couldn’t be more thrilled. Especially when he found out that Archie scored an exclusive invite to Hiram’s poker game at Pop’s. Is there really no other lowkey place to do pull off illegal shenanigans than the place were innocent souls come for a milkshake and some murder?

Hiram wanted someone he could “trust” to help out with the poker game, which to me was a red-flag that Hiram doesn’t trust Archie at all. And Archie wants the scoop so he obliged.

This time around, Archie wasn’t a complete fail in snooping. While unclogging toilets — that’s the kind of tutelage Hiram’s shepherding provides — he overheard some mobsters talk about how Hiram’s gone soft “post prison” in this town. Their plan is to take him out after Veronica’s confirmation.

Obviously, as Veronica was flaunting her innocence in church, Archie couldn’t help but focus on the mobsters, who were conspiring THE WHOLE TIME. Don’t they know it’s rude to talk during a service?

While Archie’s been rubbing elbows with Hiram and the likes, Veronica has been stressing out about corrupting Archie, who is her beacon in the night. Too late girl, he’s already in too deep. She initially objects to Archie attending to the poker game, but Archie assures her he’ll simply be serving water. Sweet little naive Archie-kins.

During the reception, Veronica orders Hiram not to bring Archie into family business…. ever. He agrees to honor his daughter’s wishes but soon, she seems them slipping into the elevator and into his study.

Archie’s alliances seemingly shifted when he overheard that Hiram’s guys were turning on him so he let him know before it was too late. This is further proof that Archie hasn’t been getting close to Hiram simply because the FBI agent ordered it but because he really wants to impress his girlfriend’s dad.

I don’t really know what Archie thought would happen after he told Hiram the truth. Obviously, he would send his goons to take out the problem, right? I think Archie realized the severity of the whole situation at that point and decided to lie to the FBI agent. If Hiram found out that he’s been working to take him down, he would be next in line for a beheading. Not even the FBI could protect him… especially not this ghostly excuse for an agent!

Archie isn’t the only one to see Hiram Lodge for who he really is. Jughead also sees the light while trying to get to the bottom of who really cut off General Pickens’ head.

The Serpents really have no respect in this town; I’m surprised they still stick around.

First, their school gets shut down to silently make room for Hiram’s SoDale project. Then, they’re ordered to vacate their trailer park because of outstanding rent and what not. It’s illegal Betty tells us and Juggy agrees, but there’s not much they can do considering Mayor McCoy has been compromised by the Lodge’s. Basically, Hiram is running this town.

The Serpent’s blame Jughead for all of their bad fortune because his expose, which got him and Betty suspended from the paper, riled everyone up. Penny returned with a vengeance but before she could offer her legal services, she needed an eye-for-an-eye. Basically, to have Jughead booted for breaking Serpent Law and the removal of his tattoo, with a dirty blade.

All of this even led FP to declare that “Jughead would be the end of them,” which is fair, honestly. Jughead has been pretty hypocritical this season. When living with Archie, he was anti-Southside, but all of a sudden, he thinks he can rule the Serpents. Still, he knows that the town turning their backs on them isn’t because of anything he’s written; it’s been a long time coming.

Betty suggests they find the source of the problem and cut off the snake’s head. Someone graciously replies to their poster and they find the head in a dump. The owner even confirms that the person who brought it in was Tall Boy, the one causing this mess in the first place.

FP, Jughead and Betty confront Tallboy in front of everyone and he admits that he beheaded the statue to get rid of Jughead and FP and claim ownership of the gang with Penny. The tables turn and everyone casts their vote to eliminate Tallboy. I was convinced Tallboy was the Black Hood, but his sloppy work proves that it definitely isn’t him.

Betty feels so liberated and decides to go all the way with Jughead finally. It bothers me that she expects him to be honest and he is, admitting that he’d “done stuff” with Toni since they broke up, but she lies straight to his face about the kiss with Archie and the Dark Betty coming out to play.

Her bliss is shortlived because when she arrives home, she finds Northsider Alice Cooper trying to remove a dead body. Y’all, the Coopers are out of control. Here’s what we know: Alice and Chic were spending some “family time” together when some random dude came to the door and asked for Chic. The next thing we know, he’s bleeding out on the kitchen floor and momma bear is cleaning up the mess. I’m pretty sure, this is the stuff the Black Hood wanted to eliminate.

Betty and her family just went full “dark” mode. And Alice definitely has to have Serpent blood in her to be so calm after committing a murder.

So yeah, lot’s going on including two murders! Why did Alice kill rando dude? Will Jughead and Archie quarrel about Hiram Lodge? Why did Betty lie about kissing Archie? Are there still feelings there? Why was it a thing only to not be a thing? Will Veronica and Archie continue seeing each other? Will the FBI agent ever prove that he’s legit?!

And where the hell was Cheryl? So much was going on in this town, you would think she’d have some bitchy one-liners to throw our way!

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Fall TV Preview: Riverdale Season 4 Trailer Reveals Jughead is Missing

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The Riverdale Season 4 Trailer is Here & Jughead is Missing

The Riverdale trailer for season 4 is equal parts sexy and mysterious (what the hell happened to Jughead?!)

The series creators promised the season would be more high-school oriented giving it a “season 1” vibe following a dark, twisted, and oftentimes, ridiculous (we still loved it) G&G/ The Farm storyline on season 3.

And while they’re making good on that promise — we see Cheryl and the like prancing around the halls of Riverdale High — the show still capitalizes on the darker undertones and secrets.

This is a town that thrives on murder, and that’s never going to change.

The teens grapple with a pretty daunting realization — they’re going to have to part ways after senior year.

“Isn’t it crazy? In just nine-months, life as we know it will be over,” Veronica (Camila Mendes) muses without realizing the statement is more ominous than she intended.

The trailer reveals that one favorite may not make it through their senior year alive as the whole town embarks on a search mission through the volatile woods of Riverdale.

Who are they looking for? Our very own Jughead Jones.

Fans expected a rocky season for Jug following the cliffhanger of season 3, which saw him missing as Betty, Veronica and Archie cleaned up the blood from their clothes, but this has us officially worried.

Later in the trailer, we hear Jughead’s screams as he begs for “help” and tries to break out of what sounds like a car trunk.

What happened to Jughead? And is his disappearance linked to whatever happened in the final episode?

Other major moments in the trailer include Betty getting clobbered over the head from behind by an unknown figure (she’s after the Farm so it could be Evelyn Evernever), crime scene photos that make Betty gasp “oh my god,” a scantily dressed Veronica performing some pussycat dolls-esque routine on stage as she assures that she’s “no stranger to scandal,” and a bunch of smokin’ sex scenes with our three favorite ships: Choni, Bughead, and Varchie.

Yep, sounds like senior year!

Not spotted in the video: Alice Cooper, who we found out is infiltrating The Farm, anyone from The Farm (Chad Michael Murray, where ya at?), Kevin, also with the damn Farm, and Betty’s real brother, Chic, who was introduced in the finale as an FBI agent working with Alice to take down The Farm.

Riverdale premies October 9th on The CW!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – The Dark Secret of Harvest House (3×21)

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riverdale the dark secret of harvest house Review

I’m going to start this review by echoing the sentiments of my friend who texted me “how the hell did we get here” while watching the penultimate episode of Riverdale.

These writers, they’re good.

They figured out how to hook us just enough to keep us around all season and then, right before the finale, they dropped bomb after bomb on us.

All the weird things that have been happening leading up to this episode have finally started making sense.

There’s still a few mysteries we need to solve, but for the most part, we got all the answers we’ve been searching for all season.

Who is the Gargoyle King?

After a deep dive that led Jughead to Ricky, the Lost Boys, and finally, Ethel Muggs, he finally got the name of the masked creature wreaking havoc on Riverdale: Jason Blossom.

Come again?

The same Jason Blossom who died in season one?

Yes, the very same.

Jughead even dug up homeboy’s grave to make sure this wasn’t some cruel joke and sure enough, the casket was empty.

How many times do I have to remind myself — if you don’t see a body, don’t believe they’re really dead.

It’s unclear how Jason Blossom managed to stay alive — we all saw that video — and how he managed to lurk around Riverdale undetected.

Was he always wearing his GK garb?

It also begs the question: is Jason working directly with The Farm?

After all, Cheryl Blossom swore she was hanging out with her brother again.

Which brings us to The Farm and what they’re really up to.

This one blew my mind slightly more than the Jason Blossom reveal.

Nancy Drew, er, Betty Cooper, discovered that The Farm is harvesting organs! Human organs.

No wonder they’re such a lucrative business.

It all started when she gave herself over to The Farm because she needed protection from the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood aka her dad.

Edgar Evernever opened her with open arms, and I became highly suspicious.

Then, Alice and Polly teamed up to tell Betty that she was a carrier of something called a “serial killer” gene, which sounded made up to me.

Can someone really be tested to see if they’re a potential serial killer? Highly doubt it.

But it was Edgar’s way of getting Betty into one of his hypnosis sessions where she came face-to-face with “Dark Betty.”

Now, for a moment, I truly thought Betty was about to have a split personality meltdown, but thankfully, she outsmarted Edgar by popping some candle wax in her ears so that she wouldn’t “go under” during their next session.

And instead of confronting her inner darkness, she came face-to-face with Polly who was dressed like her and trying to convince her of all these falsities.

Not only is Polly a Farmie, but she’s also willingly messing with her sister!

Betty could have outsmarted Edgar and The Farmies if she wasn’t so vocal about her suspicions.

She thought she was invincible, but when you’re on the inside, you probably should lay low.

Instead, she was walking around telling everyone her theories about hypnosis and figuring out way too much about Evelyn and her dialysis.

It’s almost like she was asking to get caught.

Eventually, she realized that the “procedures” to get rid of internal pain that Edgar manifested into physical pain was basically a surgery to steal kidneys and other high-priced organs.

Kevin and Fangs already “donated” theirs and Toni was scheduled next.

Thankfully, Betty made it in time to warn Cheryl who was finally convinced that Betty was onto something.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

Betty was pinned down by Kevin and Fangs who were upset that she was being a “detractor.”

Cheryl and Toni narrowly escaped with Cheryl allowing Toni to make a break for it while she distracted the guards.

Both Betty and Cheryl were taken and based on Betty’s interaction with Edgar, they’re about to lose a kidney!

The good thing is that Jughead, FP and Toni are bound to return to save them all.

Edgar might ensure that Betty doesn’t “know” anything, but Toni most definitely will. And she’s going to know that Betty told the truth.

And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to silence Betty. It’s looking like electroshock therapy to me!

Then, we have Archie and Veronica who tag-teamed to take down Hiram Lodge who was planning to purchase the town of Riverdale and run it as he saw fit.

Archie challenged Hiram to a boxing match in order to distract him while Ronnie convinced Hiram to do illegal bidding on the fight at Le Bonne Nuit.

Since Archie’s mom set them up with an FBI agent, she crashed the whole thing and arrested Mr. Lodge.

“I won,” Veronica told Hiram as she licked off the taste of satisfaction from her lips.

Ronnie and Archie may believe that, but we all know better. Hiram is capable of anything. If the Black Hood can escape from prison, those bars won’t hold Hiram down for long.

And those two just made an even bigger enemy out of Hiram.

I also couldn’t help but laugh when Archie confirmed that “yeah, Ronnie. Your dad sucks.”

Sadly, despite being a dynamic duo once again, Ronnie chose to rekindle her romance with Reggie.

Obviously, this crushed Archie, but something tells me their relationship isn’t over yet.

Veronica didn’t seem too convinced with her decision given Reggie only won her over by beating Archie to the punch.

Reggie may have helped her with the club but Archie took some nasty blows from her dad, again.

Not to mention Hiram was planning on killing Archie in the ring for some clout.

Doesn’t anyone think Hiram should just grow up?

And, of course, we still haven’t dealt with the Black Hood. Why is Hal so hellbent on killing Betty?

Is he working with the Gargoyle King?

Other Riverdale Musings

  • Hiram really kept a straight face when he talked about how worried he was that Riverdale was being overrun by drugs. He’s only mad cause he’s not the one selling them and turning a profit.
  • Why hasn’t the series addressed Luke Perry’s death? Is Fred Andrews just going to be out of town forever?
  • Veronica singing Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons” hit the spot and elevated the scene beautifully.

How insane was tonight’s episode of Riverdale? What do you think is going to happen on the season finale?

Is Jason really alive?

Sound off in the comments!

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Riverdale

Riverdale – Jawbreaker (3×18)

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Riverdale Jawbreaker Review

Is Riverdale trying to convince us the cultish Farm isn’t all that bad?

Nah, they would never.

Betty may have returned her mom to Evelyn and Edgar Evernever, but she doesn’t buy into The Farm’s innocence or their good intentions.

Despite her best efforts to show her mother the truth that The Farm is brainwashing her, Betty simply realized that Alice isn’t ready to accept the truth. And even if she was, she doesn’t want that truth from Betty, who she referred to as “dark like her father” and “angry” on the Farm’s tapes.

Alice doesn’t paint Betty in the best light by saying she’s afraid of her daughter especially now that she pushed and physically threatened Evelyn. The trauma of losing Charles, not once but twice because of imposter Chick, and the realization that she was married to a cold-blooded killer has really done a number on Alice. She believed she was a lost cause, but found guidance in the Farm, a group that can apparently ‘heal’ and fulfills her in way that Betty apparently can’t.

Alice’s desire to erase the pain and mistakes of her past is understandable, but she’s also erasing everything that has made her the strong and independent woman she is today. Especially because she’s “engaged’ to Edgar. I doubt she’s actually in a romantic relationship with him, but making her believe that she shares something special and unique with Edgar ensures her loyalty and their stronghold over her. She’s going to become too reliant on The Farm and by the time she realizes it, it’ll be too late.

But don’t be mistaken – they still prey on emotionally unstable victims, which is exactly how Cheryl became a Farmie Queen B. I think Cheryl’s disillusion is the most frustrating to me because she was always the leader, but it makes sense if you see through the facade. Cheryl has kept up appearances and a brave face, but under that red lipstick is a world of pain and suffering. She never fully recovered from losing Jason or Clifford Blossom and her mother’s always been rather vile towards her. She’s broken by her past and much like with Alice, the Farm is taking advantage of that. Cheryl has also always wanted to ‘fit in’ somewhere which has been depicted by the plenty of cliques — her Vixens, Toni’s Pretty Poison’s and now, The Farm.

Understandably, Toni wasn’t happy with Cheryl’s involvement and tried to place the blame on Betty. But Betty was in the same boat with her mother and instead of fighting, the two ended up working together to save their loved ones. Betty’s been trying to find the perfect person to infiltrate The Farm, but Toni is the most unsuspecting because she’s loyal to Cheryl. Almost to a fault.

Evelyn and Edgar, beware.

Since there’s no cracking the exterior of The Farm and digging up their secrets, Toni has a tall order ahead of her to bring them down from the inside. One major hold that The Farm has over Alice and Cheryl is that they give them the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. Since Betty isn’t wooed by their false promises, they aren’t afraid to be transparent with her.

Edgar admitted that Cheryl and Alice don’t actually see the dead, but rather, a hallucination that allows them to heal. Evelyn has also made it clear that they’ve made copies of the tapes in case they have to blackmail them. They blatantly admit to being just as manipulative and shady as Betty calls them out to be, yet still attempted to hold themselves in a high regard when Edgar was explaining the origins of The Farm. Apparently, he’s always wanted to help people and using their deepest, darkest secrets against them if one way to do it.

However, The Farm may be the least of Riverdale’s worries with the rise of the new Gargoyle King. Baby Teeth’s gruesome murder (they pulled out his TEETH!) was just the first step in the Gargoyle King’s plan according to Kurtz. Jughead and FP joined forces to stop the GK once and for all, but they may be in way over their heads. 

Not only does the GK have a dedicated following, but he’s also dishing out tainted Fizzle Rocks, and has his sights set on Jellybean Jones. The moment I saw her playing the game with Ricky, Joaquin’s brother who tried to kill Archie, I knew it was bad news. Why does the Gargoyle King want with Jellybean? Why does he want to meet her? And who is the Gargoyle King now?

The Fizzle Rocks Kurtz was dealing was laced with something reminiscent of bath salts, causing people to foam at the mouth and become dangerously violent. Great, just what Riverdale needed. Given that Jughead’s mother, Gladys, is the drug kingpin in Riverdale, I’m surprised Jughead remained loyal and protected her secret instead of outing her to FP. Why is he protecting her? Wouldn’t FP knowing that Gladys may be the source of their problems help them stop it? Once FP finds out Jughead knew more than he was letting on, he’s going to be furious.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kurtz was slanging tainted stuff, working for the GK, and made Jellybean a target. Could it be that Gladys is the new Gargoyle King also?

The Gryphons and Gargoyle’s storyline has dragged on for most of the season infiltrating almost every plotline, yet, I don’t see the point anymore nor does there seem to be a resolution. What started off as something so promising in terms of storytelling has fallen flat and become a thorn for not only the audience but the characters.

The tainted Fizzle Rocks aren’t just a problem on the streets, they’ve even made their way into Elio’s elite boxing match. Elio is the scummiest of characters because he has no honor; he’ll do anything to win, but he doesn’t even play the game well. Archie scored a rematch with Ronson after Ronnie promised to help him get his boys into Elio’s elite match.

Elio allowed Ronson to fight Archie but only because he saw it as an opportunity to get back at Ronnie and get rid of Archie by doping up Ronson with the tainted drugs. Mad Dog tried to warn Archie that Ronson was taking something that put him in full rage mode, but even with that fear, Archie fought and won with honor. He’s never been one to cave to temptation or cheat to win, and that’s what I respect about Archie most of all.

Admittedly, I did expect Archie to either end up in the hospital or call the fight. I have no doubt he’s a skilled boxer with professional technique, but I don’t think he’d be able to beat someone hyped up on angry pills.

Archie’s good at a lot of things, but he’s exceptionally good at making himself a target. Only recently was he cleared of the Red Paladin burden, but it seems like Elio is going to want some revenge. Riverdale seems to be a bit confused about which relationships it wants to nurture.

Is anyone else slightly concerned that Ronnie and Archie are once again “Bonnie & Clyde-ing” it up? She not only helped him with his boxing studio, she even gave him a Pops sponsored robe and cheered him on from the sidelines. The lines between professional and personal will blur quickly — they almost kissed after working together for a few hours!

Josie and Archie just got together and he was so into making things work despite their circumstances, but this week, it almost seemed like Josie didn’t exist. And despite Archie’s relationship with Josie, it seems like he’s still harnessing some feelings for his ex. Even Josie picked up on it and noticed Veronica was way too invested in Archie and his match.

Will Archie and Ronnie get back together? And is it a good idea? Archie deserves better unless Veronica has done away with her blind loyalty to Hiram Lodge. Remember, that’s what almost got Archie killed last time.

Week to week, Riverdale remains entertaining, but when I look back at the season, I feel like we’re constantly rehashing the same Gargoyle King, Farm and Fizzle Rocks storyline without any real outcome. There better be some major resolution and revalations by the time the season finale airs.

What do you think, Cravers?

Will Toni and Betty find a way to take down The Farm?

Will Jughead and FP save Jellybean?

Will Archie stop being the most hated person in Riverdale?

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