Season one introduced us to the syrupy sex-infused strange small town. So many S’s.
The only way you could describe it was “Riverdale.” It had this essence about it; this quirkiness found in ghastly horror comedies.
And that’s why we loved it. But there comes a point when something becomes “too much.” Season 2 is the perfect example of Riverdale crossing the line into weirdly, funky, unenticing Riverdale.
These teens aren’t simply attending school and attending cheer/football practice. They’re juggling way too much for any 16-year-old. Betty is webcaming before school, Veronica is dipping her hands into the dirty family business, Archie is assisting an FBI agent, Jughead is trying to sink his fangs further into the Serpents, Kevin is probably still frequenting the woods and Cheryl is missing in action. Like I said, a lot is happening.
And I didn’t even touch the adults, who are by far worse than the teenagers.
Let’s see, Hiram Lodge is literally caring more about what Archie thinks of him than about anything else. No one knows what Fred’s really up to these days, but it seems business is churning. As for Betty’s parents, well, Hal gave Alice an ultimatum and she chose Chic so he packed up his bags and went to some generic version of AirBnb. Poor Hal. At least now he has a place to hide out with Penelope Blossom. Still gross.
Bizzare occurrences are the norm in this town, however, nothing was weirder than Veronica denouncing Satan without actually shunning Hiram Lodge and partnering up with Josie to sing Bittersweet Symphony at her confirmation. It does NOT get more Riverdale than that.
Well, unless you take into consideration Veronica’s weird confession, where she tried to confess all her sins. And really, she didn’t even touch the tip of the iceberg here.
The event was an excuse to gather the Lodge’s closest family + all of Hiram’s mafia boys under one roof. Obviously, mayhem was inevitable and that FBI agent, who is slowly convincing me that he’s a real person, couldn’t be more thrilled. Especially when he found out that Archie scored an exclusive invite to Hiram’s poker game at Pop’s. Is there really no other lowkey place to do pull off illegal shenanigans than the place were innocent souls come for a milkshake and some murder?
Hiram wanted someone he could “trust” to help out with the poker game, which to me was a red-flag that Hiram doesn’t trust Archie at all. And Archie wants the scoop so he obliged.
This time around, Archie wasn’t a complete fail in snooping. While unclogging toilets — that’s the kind of tutelage Hiram’s shepherding provides — he overheard some mobsters talk about how Hiram’s gone soft “post prison” in this town. Their plan is to take him out after Veronica’s confirmation.
Obviously, as Veronica was flaunting her innocence in church, Archie couldn’t help but focus on the mobsters, who were conspiring THE WHOLE TIME. Don’t they know it’s rude to talk during a service?
While Archie’s been rubbing elbows with Hiram and the likes, Veronica has been stressing out about corrupting Archie, who is her beacon in the night. Too late girl, he’s already in too deep. She initially objects to Archie attending to the poker game, but Archie assures her he’ll simply be serving water. Sweet little naive Archie-kins.
During the reception, Veronica orders Hiram not to bring Archie into family business…. ever. He agrees to honor his daughter’s wishes but soon, she seems them slipping into the elevator and into his study.
Archie’s alliances seemingly shifted when he overheard that Hiram’s guys were turning on him so he let him know before it was too late. This is further proof that Archie hasn’t been getting close to Hiram simply because the FBI agent ordered it but because he really wants to impress his girlfriend’s dad.
I don’t really know what Archie thought would happen after he told Hiram the truth. Obviously, he would send his goons to take out the problem, right? I think Archie realized the severity of the whole situation at that point and decided to lie to the FBI agent. If Hiram found out that he’s been working to take him down, he would be next in line for a beheading. Not even the FBI could protect him… especially not this ghostly excuse for an agent!
Archie isn’t the only one to see Hiram Lodge for who he really is. Jughead also sees the light while trying to get to the bottom of who really cut off General Pickens’ head.
The Serpents really have no respect in this town; I’m surprised they still stick around.
First, their school gets shut down to silently make room for Hiram’s SoDale project. Then, they’re ordered to vacate their trailer park because of outstanding rent and what not. It’s illegal Betty tells us and Juggy agrees, but there’s not much they can do considering Mayor McCoy has been compromised by the Lodge’s. Basically, Hiram is running this town.
The Serpent’s blame Jughead for all of their bad fortune because his expose, which got him and Betty suspended from the paper, riled everyone up. Penny returned with a vengeance but before she could offer her legal services, she needed an eye-for-an-eye. Basically, to have Jughead booted for breaking Serpent Law and the removal of his tattoo, with a dirty blade.
All of this even led FP to declare that “Jughead would be the end of them,” which is fair, honestly. Jughead has been pretty hypocritical this season. When living with Archie, he was anti-Southside, but all of a sudden, he thinks he can rule the Serpents. Still, he knows that the town turning their backs on them isn’t because of anything he’s written; it’s been a long time coming.
Betty suggests they find the source of the problem and cut off the snake’s head. Someone graciously replies to their poster and they find the head in a dump. The owner even confirms that the person who brought it in was Tall Boy, the one causing this mess in the first place.
FP, Jughead and Betty confront Tallboy in front of everyone and he admits that he beheaded the statue to get rid of Jughead and FP and claim ownership of the gang with Penny. The tables turn and everyone casts their vote to eliminate Tallboy. I was convinced Tallboy was the Black Hood, but his sloppy work proves that it definitely isn’t him.
Betty feels so liberated and decides to go all the way with Jughead finally. It bothers me that she expects him to be honest and he is, admitting that he’d “done stuff” with Toni since they broke up, but she lies straight to his face about the kiss with Archie and the Dark Betty coming out to play.
Her bliss is shortlived because when she arrives home, she finds Northsider Alice Cooper trying to remove a dead body. Y’all, the Coopers are out of control. Here’s what we know: Alice and Chic were spending some “family time” together when some random dude came to the door and asked for Chic. The next thing we know, he’s bleeding out on the kitchen floor and momma bear is cleaning up the mess. I’m pretty sure, this is the stuff the Black Hood wanted to eliminate.
Betty and her family just went full “dark” mode. And Alice definitely has to have Serpent blood in her to be so calm after committing a murder.
So yeah, lot’s going on including two murders! Why did Alice kill rando dude? Will Jughead and Archie quarrel about Hiram Lodge? Why did Betty lie about kissing Archie? Are there still feelings there? Why was it a thing only to not be a thing? Will Veronica and Archie continue seeing each other? Will the FBI agent ever prove that he’s legit?!
And where the hell was Cheryl? So much was going on in this town, you would think she’d have some bitchy one-liners to throw our way!
Riverdale Midseason Premiere – Yale, Spirit Week, and Maple Syrup Rum (4×10)
Riverdale did something wild on this week’s episode – it channeled high school sports as the students acted like, dare I say, high school teenagers.
It’s totally normal if you forgot that Archie still plays football or that he’s QB.
The series has been trying to return to the high-school setting for one more season, but no episode is more teen drama than “Varsity Blues.”
The championship game between Riverdale and Stonewall Prep, seemingly the only other school in the area, divides everyone.
Betty takes her assignment from Mr. Honey about the Bulldogs making the championship and elevates it by writing a riveting expose about how Stonewall Prep plays dirty. And yet, Mr. Honey nixes it because it stirs up too much trouble and he was eyeing a fluff piece, which he should’ve known is Betty’s style.
It doesn’t deter Betty, however, as she’s determined to bring down Stonewall, and Brett, in some capacity and proposes that they start a quiz team to enter the quiz show competition. What’s this new competitive nature that’s gotten into Betty? She clearly doesn’t like Brett because he’s a pompous, egotistical ass, but is there something else driving her need to beat him? Also, is it a coincidence their names are so similar? The sheer amount of times I wrote “Bretty” right now is sickening.
There’s some tension between Betty and Jughead, though, they do their best to work through it.
Despite not applying, Jughead has landed an interview with Yale, but he’s concerned it won’t sit well with Betty who didn’t get in.
Betty offers the “I wouldn’t ask you to give up this opportunity” response, which seems genuine enough.
And yet, the moment she learns Jughead has joined the Quill and Skull secret society, she can’t help but exude a little resentment.
While it seems like they smooth it over, there’s the lingering knowledge that we all have from a previous episode that showed Betty clobbering Jughead over the head and Archie pronouncing him dead.
And we cannot forget the episode where FP Jones arrests Betty, Archie, and Veronica for Jughead’s murder.
The flashforward offered on this week’s episode adds onto the mystery of what happened with Jughead, but instead of providing any clarity, it raises more questions.
A month from now, we see Betty cleaning out Jughead’s room and crying as Brett informs her that Jughead will not be attending Yale. “It’s just you and me in New Haven,” he adds, which means that Betty is now going to Yale.
Did dark Betty possess her and take Jughead’s spot? Did Jughead get her in somehow?
The reason “why” Jughead isn’t going to Yale isn’t immediately clear, but if those flash-forwards are any indication, it’s because he’s dead.
If he isn’t dead and this is some evil trick being played on us by the writers, then maybe it’s for the best because Jughead’s admission seems to be hinged on some more shady dealings with Stonewall Prep.
Everything is so cryptic with them, and I just cannot trust Brett when he tells Jughead that maybe they’ll be roomies.
Back in Riverdale, Archie is gearing up for the big game, but after Stonewall’s bullies take out the team’s best player, Mad Dog, by physically assaulting him and injuring his knee, the team loses its best player.
That’s when Archie’s uncle Frank swoops in and offers some pain killers because that’s totally normal — an adult offering a kid drugs. Actually, in Riverdale, it is.
There’s a reason why Mary is so adamant in her hatred for Frank and it’s because he smells like bad news.
Mad Dog is an adult, so he takes the pills and plays the game. Archie breathes a sigh of relief because nothing happens to him and he impressed a recruit, but it could’ve. Now, if Riverdale had better story consistency, I would say that this storyline isn’t over and Mad Dog will suffer some consequences for playing with an injury, but I doubt this will ever be brought up again.
The Lodge wars continue as Veronica and Hiram go battle it out for the best whiskey in town. I wouldn’t have pegged Riverdale for a rum town, it seems more like a draft beer town, but sure. The best part of this whole storyline is that Veronica isn’t even 21 and yet, she’s out here selling off cases of her special blend rum. Girl, you’re not even old enough to try it.
Although, I’m really digging Veronica and Cheryl’s team-up. If she’s going to make a rum, it better be a maple-syrup flavored one.
But those two are definitely not old enough to take those shots.
Cheryl spent most of the episode quibbling with the new HBIC brought on to coach the Vixens. She didn’t know what hit her when Ms. Appleyard stood up to her and wasn’t intimidated by her mean girl demeanor. Newsflash: that’s the real world Cheryl.
Of course, Cheryl staged a coup and got her Vixens back in time for the game, but maybe it would have been for the best if she let Appleyard take the wheel. The pop song they performed was cringe-worthy yet again proving that Riverdale’s strong suit isn’t musical numbers. They are really good at murders, though, if anyone is concerned.
Other Riverdale Musings
- As part of his initiation, Jughead told the Q&S society his deepest darkest secrets. Did they not learn ANYTHING from The Farm? This is how they get you – this is how cults operate!
- Brett and Donna’s deepest and darkest secrets reveal they have both endured some trauma. Hurt people hurt people, which explains their behavior towards Jughead, but it doesn’t excuse it.
- Archie got arrested again. But at least he’s brave enough to own up to the punches he throws rather than hiding under bunny masks. Cough, Brett, cough.
- A classic B&V brings us to old school Riverdale days. Too bad Jughead ruined everything.
- Veronica and Reggie keyed Hiram’s car and poured rum into his engine. What is this middle school?
- Cheryl telling Appleyard that her body is perfection is a 2020 mood.
What did you think of the Riverdale midseason premiere?
Did Betty kill Jughead?
12 Crazy Moments from the Riverdale Season 4 Fall Finale
Riverdale is known from its crazy plot twists, and given that this was the midseason finale, we were expecting the cream of the crop.
We were not disappointed.
Take a look back at the wildest moments of the night.
Caution: spoilers ahead.
You can read the full review of Riverdale Season 4 Episode 9 right here!
1. Polly Clawed off a Nurse’s Face
We haven’t seen Polly for a hot minute. If I’m being exact, I think the last time we saw her was when she tried to drown Alice as part of some Farm “rebirth” ritual. And now when we saw her, she was tied up to a bed after disfiguring a nurse at Shady Grove named Betty. Yes, disfiguring.
2. Alice Tries to Attack her Daughter with a Butcher Knife
Honestly, the headline says it all. Both Alice and Polly went full psycho after picking up a phone call that hypnotized them into attempting to kill Betty. Somehow, there’s a logical explanation.
3. Tangerine, Tangerine, Tangerine
Anyone else wondering if there’s some unrevealed backstory to the word tangerine? Does Betty hate tangerines? Did she give them to a student that was allergic? Or is the word innocent enough to hide the fact that it hypnotizes people into turning into Betty and attempting to kill her dark side aka her?
In Betty’s case, that means she’d have to kill herself, which was all part of The Farm, Edgar, and Evelyn’s plan. Seriously, how is she still getting phone privileges?
4. Cheryl Gassing Thistlehouse
While gassing the house up maybe have been a bonkers idea, it worked to snuff out the darkness hiding within the brick walls of Thistlehouse: Penelope. Cheryl figured out it was her mother who was gaslighting her in hopes that she’d lose her mind because of the Julian doll. Who knew a little roach gas was all she need to see clearly?
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Riverdale Fall Finale Review – Who Killed Jughead? (4×09)
Riverdale took a sharp turn for its midseason finale bringing the Jughead death into clear, well, clearer, view.
There were clues leading up to the killer’s identity throughout much of the episode.
Betty has always lived with Dark Betty’s shadow looming over her, and she’s been terrified of her serial killer gene ever since taking the FBI for kids (or whatever it was called) class, so her desire to eliminate this part of her wasn’t random, but the way the storyline was carried out was.
Evelyn was able to make two calls from Shankshaw Prison to Polly and Alice and hypnotized them via a trigger word that made them kill “Betty” aka the person in the vicinity that they believed was Betty.
Oh, and the trigger word was “tangerine” because apparently, Riverdale has a thing against sweet, orange, fruit.
At this point, I just shrug my shoulders and roll with it.
Betty was afraid that she’d be affected by the trigger word, though, it’s unlikely since she was never brainwashed by the Farm, right?
Then again, we don’t know what happened while she was briefly holed up inside those walls.
However, Betty tested it in front of Charles, which, knowing what we know, was a terrible idea, but Charles has made himself trustworthy so Betty figured this was fine.
She wasn’t phased by the trigger word immediately, but she was taken back to her youth, specifically, the moment Dark Betty was born. I cannot watch poor Caramel get crushed to death by a rock over and over, guys.
Betty’s logical was that if she could go back in time and prevent Dark Betty from being born, she’d fix the dark part of herself that she hated.
Again, sure. I’d be more inclined to think that was a good solution if it came from a therapist and not from Charles, who we know has ulterior motives.
But Betty did it and went to sleep thinking she was safe despite breaking her mirror with her fist and being completely unphased. Oh boy.
So, when the series flashed forward to Betty standing over Jughead holding a rock and presumably killing him the same way she’d killed Caramel before, it wasn’t surprising in the context of plot development.
However, looking at it as fans of the series and Betty and Jughead solo as well as a couple, it was outrageous.
The series would never allow Betty to kill her boyfriend unless they wanted to enrage fandoms and ensure the end of the series as we know it.
Which means that a. that isn’t Jughead, it’s an evil twin brother, b. Archie assumed he was dead when he was just knocked out, c. it’s a sequel to Jughead’s Baxter Brothers novel since the one that got him the contract drew inspiration from the murder of Jason Blossom, or d. I don’t know, and I’m packing.
What do you think the final scene means for Jughead going forward? Is he dead?
After scoring the contract to become the next Baxter Brothers ghost-writer, Jughead attempted to locate his grandfather.
And, he found him. Or someone who claimed to be Forsythe. He looked more like Santa than what I’d imagine FP’s abusive father would look like but whatever.
It was surprisingly easy for Jughead to locate a man who went missing years ago and didn’t want to be found. The fact that Charles helped him find Forsythe also doesn’t sit well with me. If Charles and Chip are working together to destroy Betty then chances are, they’d want to destroy Jughead too.
What are the odds this is an actor who was paid to tell Jughead what he wanted to hear about the Baxter Brothers novel so he would sign the contract?
Based on Jughead’s first words to the man, he didn’t know what his grandfather looked like, and FP never saw him since the man cleared out the trailer before Jughead could reunite them.
It’s too fishy.
Charles has been trusted by both Betty and Jughead so he knows everything and thus, can manipulate them with their weaknesses.
Another day, another terrible Archie idea.
Archie refuses to give up his vigilante life because he thinks he’s making a difference. He wants to follow in his father’s footsteps but really, his father would be disappointed in him handling everything with his fists and not his brain, though, he’d probably understand since thinking logically was never Archie’s strong suit.
Somehow, FP managed to get roped into Archie’s crusade, which would be fine if FP was solely a Serpent, but he’s also the damn Sheriff and shouldn’t be encouraging violence.
Nothing has ever truly been solved with a fistfight.
Archie didn’t just put himself in danger, but he caused FP to get shot at Pops again! How many times can a masked criminal shoot someone Archie cares about? This town, honestly.
FP fared better than Fred did when he took a bullet last time, but this triggered Archie to make another rash decision — beating up Dodger one last time.
He couldn’t let it go. Dodger and Darla were on their way out of town and yet, Archie had to go and pound him into the ground.
I’m sure there was satisfaction in that, but Archie’s grief anger brought him too close to killing a man.
And now, he’s going to have to make it up to the kids in the center who look up to him as a role model but saw him standing over a bloodied man and threatening to murder him. He’s no better than Dodger.
Veronica’s beef with Hiram is getting unbelievable. She tattled on him to his mom and he attempted to sabotage her chances of getting into an Ivy League college.
How old are they?
Veronica should have known that her father would have a patent on the rum. He’s a brilliant businessman!
And she also needs to just cut herself off from him completely, which means giving up this rum competition and focusing on what brings her joy outside of taking down her father.
Also, there’s no way any admissions interviewer would be impressed with that show Ronnie put on. Everything about it was so terrible.
And then there’s Cheryl who seems to be regaining some sanity despite locking her mother up in a bunker as a hostage. Look, Penelope had it coming.
After her productive chat with the therapist on the former Riverdale episode, Cheryl realized someone was gaslighting her and making her believe she was crazy.
The only logical person would be Penelope, so Cheryl snuffed her out by gassing Thistlehouse.
She then put her on trial so that Penelope would face all the horrendous things she’s done, and Penelope admitted she was fueled by jealousy over Cheryl’s relationship with dead Jason. Again, what?
The positive outcome was that Cheryl acknowledged it was time to let Jason rest even if the way she sent him away was by re-enacting his death down Sweetwater River.
You know, I’m going to let this one slide for Cheryl’s sanity.
Other Riverdale Thoughts
- Is the Farm responsible for those stalker-ish VHS tapes too? Isn’t it time to wrap up the Farm storyline? It keeps rearing its ugly head when it should have been left behind in Season 3.
- Why didn’t anyone question why Cheryl had a mummified corpse of Jason?
- Jughead was initiated into the secret society, but he should have just rejected the offer.
What did you think of the Riverdale midseason finale?
Are things getting too insane even by Riverdale standards?
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