This week’s episode of The Bachelor kicks things off with Peter and Madison’s one-on-one date. Peter shows Madison that he has removed the medical bandage on his forehead–revealing a character-defining scar, which means that it’s official: Peter the Pilot is Harry Potter. Check him out in theaters this summer in the upcoming blockbuster: Peter the Pilot and the Sorcerer’s Rose.
Peter and Madison enjoy a romantic picnic on a boat and then stand on the bow of the ship like in Titanic (1997). I can’t wait to see what happens at the next (Jack and) Rose ceremony. At the end of their date, Peter tells Madison that he is falling in love with her. Usually when people on The Bachelor say “I’m falling in love with you” it feels more like “I-advanced-like-you,” but when Peter says it to Madison, you can practically hear the recorder version of “My Heart Will Go On” playing in the background.
Natasha, the event planner, expresses her professional concerns about scheduling, observing that she has not gone on a one-on-one date but some of the girls have gone on two. While talking about the slow pace of his relationship with Natasha, Peter says “It’s not about how fast it goes, it’s about how strong it is once you get there.”–which would be a great slogan for a Popeye-themed go-kart with an inferiority complex.
During our commercial break, we see an ad for an upcoming tv show guest-starring one of the men from last season of The Bachelorette–Tyler C.. He leans against the edge of a front door smiling to the camera with the name “Tyler C.” written across the screen in primary blue comic sans like it’s the theme song for your Kindergarten class’ 90’s sitcom.
After the commercial break, Peter does take Natasha on her scheduled one-on-one date. They go out dancing and discuss the status of their relationship over a candlelit dinner. Sadly, Peter sends her home at the end of the date with a truly heartbreaking goodbye. As Peter escorts Natasha to her elimination limo, a full string orchestra appears and begins performing a montage of depressing music. This breakup was orchestrated in more ways than one.
Next, it is announced that Peter will be taking Kelley, Victoria, and Hannah Ann on a three-on-one date. The date card reads, “Tomorrow won’t be easy.” Then, all at the same time, the three women say — “Tomorrow won’t be easy,” “Tomorrow is going to be hard,” and “We all know tomorrow won’t be easy,” –like they’re middle school students in a core-curriculum required drama class playing random civilians in a bootleg production of Annie and their teacher just told them to ad-lib “The sun won’t come out, tomorrow.”
Kelley takes things to a whole new level, however, when she tells Victoria and Hannah Ann that she wishes she could push them in front of a bus, really bringing us into the world of Tina Fey’s Mean Girls (2004). If we’re casting Mean Girls with the contestants on this season of The Bachelor I think Hannah Ann is Karen and Victoria is definitely Gretchen Weiners because she has brown hair and is super anxious. In the next shot, the 3 women walk up to the date in slow motion with determination and attitude. Those are the Plastics(urgery).
At the end of the group date, Peter gives a rose to Victoria, and some Marvel-franchise sounding music plays as Peter addresses Kelley and Hannah Ann. Just like Tyra Banks eliminating a contestant on America’s Next Top Model, a stoic Peter summarizes the pros and cons of the bottom two contestants with dramatic intensity. Two beautiful ladies stand before me, but I only have one rose in my hands.
The episode ends with Peter giving the final rose to Hannah Ann, and we get a sneak preview of all the drama that awaits us next week. Will Peter find love, or will this dark-haired magical prophecy boy be prepping for the upcoming film, Peter the Pilot and the Prisoner of Chris Harris-san?
See all the best tweets and memes from tonight’s episode right here!
‘The Bachelor’ Olympics-Themed Spinoff ‘Summer Games’ Cancelled
ABC will not be moving forward with Olympics-themed spinoff “Summer Games,” Variety reported.
The competition was set to parallel the Summer Olympics in Tokyo this July, which was also canceled as a result of the global coronavirus pandemic. The sporting event was moved to next year, though, it’s unclear if the Bachelor franchise will air the series next year.
2/19/2020: The Bachelor is headed to the Olympics… well, their version of it anyway.
There doesn’t seem to be a cap on Bachelor franchise spinoffs because why would there be? We’re going to watch all of them anyway!
Just yesterday, the promo for The Bachelor: Listen To Your Heart, a musical spinoff, dropped its first promo, but here we are today talking about an Olympics-themed spinoff.
Following the success of The Bachelor Winter Games, ABC is bringing you the Summer Olympics, a summer version of the athletic spinoff playing off of the fact that the Olympics are happening this July in Tokyo.
The show will essentially feature contestants competing in Olympic-styled sports events, which will just be pure joy, and likely getting involved in drama and hooking up on the side.
“[Summer Games] will be its own thing and it’ll run — it’ll be Bachelorette Summer Games,” ABC’s Senior Vice President of Alternative Programming Rob Mills said on The Ringer’s Bachelor Party podcast on Tuesday.
“What’s nice about Summer Games, is when we did Winter Games, Bachelor was still airing, so it was a lot . . . This is Summer Games, and then Paradise will start . . . There is going to be both,” he explained.
“I think it’s going to be really fun,” he added. “We found a really great place to hold it. I mean, it’s going to be so fun seeing these people in these great, you know, track and field, and swimming. This is a real Olympics. To me, this is the real Olympics.”
“I still think we need to look at the creative, and it’s like, do you — if somebody is with somebody or not, can they be in it?” he said. “‘Cause there’s certain people that you’d love to see — I mean, I’d love to see Jordan [Rodgers] or Colton [Underwood].”
All of this basically translates to us living, breathing, and sleeping Bachelor content!
No premiere date has been set for Summer Games yet, but Listen to Your Heart arrives in April!
Are ‘The Bachelor’s’ Peter Weber and Kelley Dating? They Were Spotted Cozying Up in Chicago
Clearly, Peter Weber did not get the memo about social distancing.
The pilot and the lawyer were seen cozying up in her hometown of Chicago on Wednesday afternoon.
The duo was spotted hitting the riverwalk and cuddling up. At one point, Peter even picked Kelley up over his head, which isn’t surprising because all the girls loved to jump on Peter when they greeted him this season.
TMZ reports that Peter was very handsy with Kelley.
All of this might have been cuter if not for the fact that Chicago is currently under a “stay at home” order to combat the coronavirus pandemic.
The whole idea is that people are supposed to be staying at home and not congregating in public meeting spaces like parks, riverwalks, beaches, etc. Chicagoans have been ignoring the government order, which is enforced by law, so the Mayor was forced to impose fines of $500 smackaroos for anyone caught purposefully breaking the rule. She also said she would shut down parks and the entire lakefront.
If Kelley is giving Peter a second chance, if they’re soulmates, if they’ve figured it all out, it’s all great, just please stay indoors and stay away from other people!
I’m sure they can find something productive to do.
And if you gotta walk the pooch, make your walk quick and 6-feet away from other people.
Best Tweets About Peter Weber and Madison Prewett’s Breakup
We’re not kidding, it lasted like a total of two days.
Just days after that dramatic The Bachelor finale which found Peter Weber and Madison Prewett vowing to give their love a chance despite plenty of objections (both vocal and through facial expressions from our girl Barb), the couple has called it quits. Done. Duzno.
Peter broke the news on Instagram thanking both Madi and ex-fiancee Hannah Ann.
Madi, thank you for your patience and unconditional love. You’re the epitome of a woman who carries herself with grace, stands by what she believes in, and loves whole heartedly. That love is something I feel so grateful to have felt and will take a piece of that with me always going forward. Madi and I have mutually decided to not pursue our relationship any further. Believe me this was not easy for either of us to be ok with, but after a lot of honest conversations, we have agreed that this is what makes most sense for the two of us. The love and respect I have for Madi will continue to endure.
Hannah Ann, you set an example for women everywhere a couple nights ago. You are such a strong, confident woman and you deserve all the love in the world. I accept full responsibility for my mistakes in our relationship and wish you only the best. This has been an emotional experience and I am so grateful for the outreach of support that I have received from friends, family, and Bachelor Nation in the last few days. Thank you to all of you! This is just a another chapter in my story.
View this post on Instagram
I want to start by acknowledging the incredible group of women that I had the privilege of getting to know this season. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I learned so many lessons from all of you that I will carry with me. Madi, thank you for your patience and unconditional love. You’re the epitome of a woman who carries herself with grace, stands by what she believes in, and loves whole heartedly. That love is something I feel so grateful to have felt and will take a piece of that with me always going forward. Madi and I have mutually decided to not pursue our relationship any further. Believe me this was not easy for either of us to be ok with, but after a lot of honest conversations, we have agreed that this is what makes most sense for the two of us. The love and respect I have for Madi will continue to endure. Hannah Ann, you set an example for women everywhere a couple nights ago. You are such a strong, confident woman and you deserve all the love in the world. I accept full responsibility for my mistakes in our relationship and wish you only the best. This has been an emotional experience and I am so grateful for the outreach of support that I have received from friends, family, and Bachelor Nation in the last few days. Thank you to all of you! This is just a another chapter in my story. One I will never forget and one I will always cherish ❤️
Since then, he’s gone back to hanging out with his mom while Madi, who also posted about the break-up, has found solace playing board games with Selena Gomez.
All’s well in the world.
Naturally, Twitter had some commentary.
The faces you make when you find out that the couple you were rooting for really fricken hard on the bachelor, PETER AND MADI breakup 2 DAYS after the LIVE FINALE. Honestly I fucking quit. I’m done with this shit #TheBachelor #pilotpete #MadisonPrewett #iquit pic.twitter.com/NcBQHh6R1J
— sydneykong (@sydney_kong) March 13, 2020
— themaryelizabethlife (@themaryelizabe1) March 13, 2020
The fact #HurricaneBarb posted this the same time @madiprew and #PilotPete announced their breakup is the true meaning of #SAVAGE #TheBachelor #TheBachelorFinale #BachelorNation pic.twitter.com/X74ArmXudR
— Bachelor Padcast (@BachelorPadcast) March 13, 2020
So peter proposed to Hannah Ann then broke it off because he was still in love with Madison. Then him and Madison say they are gonna try a relationship. Then two days later they break up and Peter ends up with no one. I still think barb may have had something to do with this.
— Oliviana (@olumettaa) March 14, 2020
Me: Grandma, did you see the news about Peter and Madison's break-up?
Grandma: I didn't even have to look at the news to know about that.
Post-#TheBachelor finale and the commentary from Grandma is still 🔥🔥🔥
— Surprisingly Articulate (@most_articulate) March 14, 2020
Oh, and for those of you who think Barb played a role in the breakup, Peter assures that she did not.
On his way to the gym on Friday, Weber refuted the comments saying, “This is stuff between Madi and I solely 100 percent. People have their opinions but it should just be two of us and it’s just mutual respect and love,” according to Page Six.
That’s that Bachelor Nation.
The 1002 weeks ago
The 100 Review: So Much For Together (7×13)
The 1006 days ago
The 100 Review- It Keeps Getting Worse (7×14)
Editorials5 days ago
Emmys 2020 Predictions: What Shows Will Win?
Coffee Table News2 weeks ago
ABC Sets Fall Premiere Dates for ‘The Conners,’ ‘black-ish,’ ‘Goldbergs’ and More
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel1 week ago
Caroline Aaron Interview: When Will Filming ‘Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ Season 4 Begin and How She’s Preparing for the Virtual Emmys
Netflix2 weeks ago
Away Season Finale Review – Did the Atlas Crew Make It to Mars? (1×10)
TV Reviews2 weeks ago
The Boys Review – Madelyn Stillwell Lives? And Stormfront Is [SPOILER] (2 x 04)
Netflix2 weeks ago
Away Review – Spektr (1×09)