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The Bachelor

The Bachelor Week 6 Recap: You’re a Wizard, Peter! (24×06)

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This week’s episode of The Bachelor kicks things off with Peter and Madison’s one-on-one date. Peter shows Madison that he has removed the medical bandage on his forehead–revealing a character-defining scar, which means that it’s official: Peter the Pilot is Harry Potter. Check him out in theaters this summer in the upcoming blockbuster: Peter the Pilot and the Sorcerer’s Rose.  

Peter and Madison enjoy a romantic picnic on a boat and then stand on the bow of the ship like in Titanic (1997). I can’t wait to see what happens at the next (Jack and) Rose ceremony. At the end of their date, Peter tells Madison that he is falling in love with her. Usually when people on The Bachelor say “I’m falling in love with you” it feels more like “I-advanced-like-you,” but when Peter says it to Madison, you can practically hear the recorder version of “My Heart Will Go On” playing in the background. 

Natasha, the event planner, expresses her professional concerns about scheduling, observing that she has not gone on a one-on-one date but some of the girls have gone on two. While talking about the slow pace of his relationship with Natasha, Peter says “It’s not about how fast it goes, it’s about how strong it is once you get there.”–which would be a great slogan for a Popeye-themed go-kart with an inferiority complex.

During our commercial break, we see an ad for an upcoming tv show guest-starring one of the men from last season of The Bachelorette–Tyler C.. He leans against the edge of a front door smiling to the camera with the name “Tyler C.” written across the screen in primary blue comic sans like it’s the theme song for your Kindergarten class’ 90’s sitcom. 

After the commercial break, Peter does take Natasha on her scheduled one-on-one date. They go out dancing and discuss the status of their relationship over a candlelit dinner. Sadly, Peter sends her home at the end of the date with a truly heartbreaking goodbye. As Peter escorts Natasha to her elimination limo, a full string orchestra appears and begins performing a montage of depressing music. This breakup was orchestrated in more ways than one.

Next, it is announced that Peter will be taking Kelley, Victoria, and Hannah Ann on a three-on-one date. The date card reads, “Tomorrow won’t be easy.” Then, all at the same time, the three women say — “Tomorrow won’t be easy,” “Tomorrow is going to be hard,” and “We all know tomorrow won’t be easy,” –like they’re middle school students in a core-curriculum required drama class playing random civilians in a bootleg production of Annie and their teacher just told them to ad-lib “The sun won’t come out, tomorrow.”

Kelley takes things to a whole new level, however, when she tells Victoria and Hannah Ann that she wishes she could push them in front of a bus, really bringing us into the world of Tina Fey’s Mean Girls (2004). If we’re casting Mean Girls with the contestants on this season of The Bachelor I think Hannah Ann is Karen and Victoria is definitely Gretchen Weiners because she has brown hair and is super anxious. In the next shot, the 3 women walk up to the date in slow motion with determination and attitude. Those are the Plastics(urgery). 

At the end of the group date, Peter gives a rose to Victoria, and some Marvel-franchise sounding music plays as Peter addresses Kelley and Hannah Ann. Just like Tyra Banks eliminating a contestant on America’s Next Top Model, a stoic Peter summarizes the pros and cons of the bottom two contestants with dramatic intensity. Two beautiful ladies stand before me, but I only have one rose in my hands.

The episode ends with Peter giving the final rose to Hannah Ann, and we get a sneak preview of all the drama that awaits us next week. Will Peter find love, or will this dark-haired magical prophecy boy be prepping for the upcoming film, Peter the Pilot and the Prisoner of Chris Harris-san?

See all the best tweets and memes from tonight’s episode right here!


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Writer, actor, composer, and caterer with lots of experience in being inexperienced. Currently based in New York City. Instagram: sarahdifi Twitter: sarahdifi_

The Bachelor

Best Tweets from The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 8 About Mental Health, Ghost Hunting, and Noah and Bennett’s Rivalry

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Best Tweets The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 18

The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 8 kicks off with Chris Harrison passing the baton to Jojo as he goes to move his son to college. 

Zac Clark is Tayshia’s first one-on-one date of the episode and they get married… no joke. Following the “ceremony,” he gets deep as he opens up about his brain tumor, addiction, and healing in rehab. 

The second group date requires the men to get creative and express themselves through art.

Noah and Bennett continue to take digs at each other and the “boyish drama” gets Tayshia’s attention. 


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Coffee Table News

When Will Matt James’ Season of ‘The Bachelor’ Premiere? ABC Announces Winter Premiere Dates

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The Bachelor casts first black male lead Matt James

The Bachelorette is delivering plenty of drama with the exit of Clare Crawley and the introduction of Tayshia Adams, but there’s one question on every Bachelor fan’s mind: when will Matt James’ season of The Bachelor arrive?!

ABC revealed that the season featuring the first Black Bachelor will begin on Monday, January 4! 

The premiere will kick off the return of several unscripted shows. 

On Thursday, January 7, the network will premiere Celebrity Wheel of Fortune with hosts Pat Sajak and Vanna White, The Chase with Sara Haines and Jeopardy’s James Holzhauer, Ken Jennings, and Brad Rutter, and mystery-based game show The Hustler with Craig Ferguson. 

Fans won’t have to wait long for American Idol to make its grand entrance as the reality show will return on Valentine’s Day with judges Luke Bryan, Katy Perry, and Lionel Richie back in action! 

Here’s your winter schedule for ABC:

MONDAY, JAN. 4
The Bachelor (8/7c)

THURSDAY, JAN. 7
Celebrity Wheel of Fortune (8/7c)
The Chase 
(9/8c)
The Hustler 
(10/9c)

TUESDAY, JAN. 26
To Tell the Truth (8/7c)

SUNDAY, FEB. 14
American Idol (8/7c)

 

What are you most excited about? Let us know in the comments! 


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Coffee Table News

‘The Bachelor’ Olympics-Themed Spinoff ‘Summer Games’ Cancelled

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The Bachelor spinoff Summer Games

Update 3/31/2020

ABC will not be moving forward with Olympics-themed spinoff “Summer Games,” Variety reported.

The competition was set to parallel the Summer Olympics in Tokyo this July, which was also canceled as a result of the global coronavirus pandemic. The sporting event was moved to next year, though, it’s unclear if the Bachelor franchise will air the series next year.

 

2/19/2020: The Bachelor is headed to the Olympics… well, their version of it anyway.

There doesn’t seem to be a cap on Bachelor franchise spinoffs because why would there be? We’re going to watch all of them anyway!

Just yesterday, the promo for The Bachelor: Listen To Your Heart, a musical spinoff, dropped its first promo, but here we are today talking about an Olympics-themed spinoff.

Following the success of The Bachelor Winter Games, ABC is bringing you the Summer Olympics, a summer version of the athletic spinoff playing off of the fact that the Olympics are happening this July in Tokyo.

The show will essentially feature contestants competing in Olympic-styled sports events, which will just be pure joy, and likely getting involved in drama and hooking up on the side.

“[Summer Games] will be its own thing and it’ll run — it’ll be Bachelorette Summer Games,” ABC’s Senior Vice President of Alternative Programming Rob Mills said on The Ringer’s Bachelor Party podcast on Tuesday.

“What’s nice about Summer Games, is when we did Winter Games, Bachelor was still airing, so it was a lot . . . This is Summer Games, and then Paradise will start . . . There is going to be both,” he explained.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8sOa0YgOxZ/

“I think it’s going to be really fun,” he added. “We found a really great place to hold it. I mean, it’s going to be so fun seeing these people in these great, you know, track and field, and swimming. This is a real Olympics. To me, this is the real Olympics.”

Though summer is just a few months away, Mills isn’t sure who is going to be in it.

“I still think we need to look at the creative, and it’s like, do you — if somebody is with somebody or not, can they be in it?” he said. “‘Cause there’s certain people that you’d love to see — I mean, I’d love to see Jordan [Rodgers] or Colton [Underwood].”

All of this basically translates to us living, breathing, and sleeping Bachelor content!

No premiere date has been set for Summer Games yet, but Listen to Your Heart arrives in April!


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