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The Bachelor

The Bachelor Review – The Champagne Chronicles (24×02)

The Bachelor / ABC

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The second episode of The Bachelor begins immediately where we left off with Hannah Brown’s dramatic return, where she has asked Peter (who was initially her third choice on her season of The Bachelorette) to give her one more chance. (Note: This was shortly after she made a suspiciously similar proposition to Tyler C., her first-runner up, in front of Peter–and his parents–in front of a live studio audience). After a dramatic “will he or won’t he” staring off into the distance sequence, Peter stands his ground and respectfully turns Hannah down as he tells her, “I want to be with someone who wants me as much as I want them.”

Several perplexed meteorologists have predicted that this caused a level 3 earthquake at exactly 8:04 pm EST as every live viewer in America screamed “YAS, PETER!” at their television sets in perfect unison. After an uncomfortable goodbye, Hannah dejectedly exits the scene and makes her way over to the sound stage for Season 28 of Dancing With The Stars, where she ultimately wins the competition. Don’t worry, Hannah–in the world of ABC, good things come to those who rate. 

The Bachelor Kelsey Champagne gif

The Bachelor/ ABC

Things kick back into gear as Peter starts sharing some of his “first moments” with the supporting character Bachelorettes. They deliver their backstory monologues–a sometimes tedious but extremely necessary aspect of The Bachelor, as their critical reception plays a key role in shaping the futures of the bachelorette’s upcoming careers as social media influencers. Much like the periods of recitative in Les Miserables, we understand that this needs to happen to further the plot, and we slowly develop an only slightly ironic adoration for these glimpses into their pre-CBD-oil-and-hair-vitamin-endorsement-deal lives.

Related: The Best Memes from The Bachelor’s Champagne Gate

Peter shares a moment of genuine chemistry and romance with Madison, the bachelorette who went on last week’s one-on-one date. He gives her a thoughtful memento of their time together, and it becomes clear–he really likes her. When they kiss, we can physically see Peter–and the dozens of candles blowing smoke all over the set much longer than their contract stated—melting at a rapid pace. 

The Bachelor Season 24 Kelsey Champagne Gate

The Bachelor/ ABC

AND NOW–WE INTRODUCE THE FIRST ACTION-ADVENTURE SERIES OF SEASON 24 OF THE BACHELOR, “THE BACHELORETTE WARS EPISODE I: THE CHAMPAGNE STRIKES BACK”.

The entire house is shaken when Hannah Ann, the possible villain of the season, steals Peter from one of the girls and proceeds to pop the bottle of champagne that Kelsey had saved from her birthday specifically to share with Peter. We go through several exciting twists and turns: Did Hannah Ann know that it was Kelsey’s bottle of champagne? Will Kelsey be able to gain her composure post-emotional breakdown? Who will get to share their side of the story with Peter first? And, most importantly, was the champagne sweet or dry? It’s a classic case of she-said/she-said/producer-staged. 

Last week, there was a quick-change-within-an-obstacle-course challenge that merely flirted with a debatable similarity to America’s Next Top Model. But THIS week, the ANTM resemblance is so striking and so thrilling that you almost forget that you’re watching The Bachelor. I’m not kidding–Janice Dickinson herself literally comes onto the show as a guest judge in a runway modeling competition, and I’m pretty sure the script for her quippy remarks was taken directly from a file deep within The CW’s archives titled, “in remembrance of legitimate content.” As someone who spent the majority of her wisdom tooth removal recovery popping Vicodin and bingeing America’s Next Top Model, this is an absolute dream come true.

One of my favorite moments of the episode is when guest judge Carson Kressley proclaims, “Boyfriends are temporary, but cashmere is forever.” I’m sorry, did you say cashmere or cash-merch?

If you’re craving moments of dramatic intensity and could use some lessons on how-to-not-open-a-bottle-of-champagne, look no further–The Bachelor has got you covered.


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Writer, actor, composer, and caterer with lots of experience in being inexperienced. Currently based in New York City. Instagram: sarahdifi Twitter: sarahdifi_

The Bachelor

Who Won Matt James’ Heart on the Season Finale of ‘The Bachelor’?

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Who Won Matt James' Heart on the Season Finale of 'The Bachelor'?

For a franchise that loves to hype up each season as the “most dramatic yet,” Matt James’ season of The Bachelor really outdid itself with real-world drama surrounding Rachael Kirkconnell’s racial controversy, Chris Harrison’s downfall, and the bullying between the women in the house. 

In the season finale, Matt James expressed some doubts about his final two women: Rachael and Michelle Young. 

Best Tweets from Tonight’s ‘The Bachelor’ Finale and ‘After the Rose’

After Michelle gave him a jersey with his name on it (and a matching one for herself that read “Mrs. James), Matt decided it was the perfect time to break her heart. He explained that he didn’t feel the same way about her as she did for him. 

“I just want clarity,” Michelle said about his feelings, to which he responded: “I don’t think I could get there with you.”

And thus… that left us with one woman standing: Rachael. 

But does she get the final rose?

Matt still had doubts because he took what his mother said about love not being enough to sustain a relationship. He took that into consideration and questioned whether or not he was “there.” He realized he wasn’t sure that was ready to make a big decision or commitment like marriage regardless of the woman. 

“What do I tell Rachael,” he questioned, adding, “Rushing into something I’m not ready for is… I’m not willing to make the same mistake my dad did.”

Harrison then informed Rachael that there wouldn’t be a date that evening because Matt was confused and needed some time. Naturally, she took it personally and broke down crying. 

After some time to think it over, Matt revealed that he’s never felt this way before and that he knew he loved Rachael. 

During their last meeting, Rachael poured her heart out and said she’d choose him everyday from here on out, through the good and bad. 

Matt said that he saw what rushing a marriage did to his mom and his family and explained it’s not something he wants for them. “That’s why I can’t propose to you today,” he said, adding, “but that doesn’t mean I want to lose you.”

He explained that he wants to live his life with Rachael and wants to commit to her and build on what they started during their Bachelor journey.

“I’m in love you, and I see you as my wife and the mother of my kids,” he said. 

So, while there’s no proposal, there is a future for Rachael and Matt… that is until those photos from the antebellum photos surfaced. All of that will be addressed during the “After the Rose” ceremony hosted by Emmanuel Acho. 

During the “After the Rose” post-show, Matt revealed that his relationship with Rachael did not overcome the controversy.

“I’m really sorry that I hurt you,” Rachael told him in their first post-breakup meeting. Despite her apologies, Matt said he couldn’t get back together as she still had a lot to do. And though it was painful, the duo went their separate ways.


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The Bachelor

Best Tweets from Tonight’s ‘The Bachelor’ Finale and ‘After the Rose’

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Best Tweets from Tonight's 'The Bachelor' Finale and 'After the Rose'

Tonight is the night.

Does Matt James make the right choice between Rachael Kirkconnell and Michelle Young on the season finale of The Bachelor Season 25?

And what did Twitter have to say? Find out who won Matt James’ season now

Here are the best tweets:

https://twitter.com/ShamsaSherif/status/1371652341267640323?s=20

https://twitter.com/_AttorneyAtPaw/status/1371642913738870785?s=20

https://twitter.com/ShamsaSherif/status/1371637082238689284?s=20

https://twitter.com/Niki_London/status/1371630382211272710?s=20

https://twitter.com/acceptedrose/status/1371613322810957824?s=20


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Coffee Table News

Here’s Who Is Replacing Chris Harrison on ‘The Bachelorette’ Next Season

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Here's Who Is Replacing Chris Harrison for 'The Bachelorette' Next Season

Chris Harrison’s future with The Bachelor franchise remains uncertain. 

According to Variety, the longtime host will not be returning to host season 17 of The Bachelorette

“Bachelorette” alums Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe will serve as co-hosts and temporarily replace Harrison amid the ongoing controversy surrounding his comments defending Rachael Kirkconnell. The latest Bachelor contestant from Matt James’ season was dragged online after photos of her attending an antebellum plantation party surfaced. 

“Chris Harrison will not be hosting the next season of ‘The Bachelorette.’ We support Chris in the work that he is committed to doing,” according to a joint statement from ABC Entertainment and Warner Horizon, obtained by Variety.

“In his absence, former Bachelorettes Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe will support the new Bachelorette through next season,” the statement continues. “As we continue the dialogue around achieving greater equity and inclusion within ‘The Bachelor’ franchise, we are dedicated to improving the BIPOC representation of our crew, including among the executive producer ranks. These are important steps in effecting fundamental change so that our franchise is a celebration of love that is reflective of our world.”

It’s unclear what this means for his future with the franchise. 

After defending Kirkconnell while speaking with former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay, Harrison announced he would not be hosting the “After the Rose” segment following The Bachelor finale. It was announced that former linebacker Emmanuel Acho would be stepping in instead. 

The upcoming season of The Bachelorette is set to begin filming next week. Cast and crew are reportedly quarantining in New Mexico.


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