The Bachelor
The Bachelor Week 7: Hometown Horrors
Peter opens the episode by uncomfortably addressing the camera and unconvincingly telling us that one of these women will be his wife. If by wife, he means momentary Instagram girlfriend, I’m sold. His first hometown date is with Hannah Ann, and they have a blast at an axe-throwing bar. This will be excellent prep for when they have their first huge fight and are dramatically throwing cans of Axe deodorant across the bathroom of their Los Angeles condo. When Peter goes to meet Hannah Ann’s family, her sister and mother seem genuinely enthusiastic for her, but her dad is not so amused. Dad expresses his doubt that this relationship is even slightly authentic, and calls this whole experience nothing more than “a new and exciting flash in a pan,” which is a strange way to describe a relationship, but a thrilling new slogan for PAM Cooking Spray.
Next, Peter goes to Kelsey’s hometown in Iowa and they enjoy stomping on some grapes. Prior to this episode, all of my mental images of people stomping on grapes either involved cartoons, viral videos, or people in period costumes playing the accordion, so I thought this was a very humbling viewing experience. Kelsey’s home scene takes place on a soundstage that was set to look like a home, and I can’t put my finger on why, but you can just feel the threat of a bird flying through the fake ceiling at any moment throughout the entire scene. Underscored by some music that sounds like it came straight from the soundtrack to Full House, Kelsey’s family expresses their concern about her heart getting broken. But regardless, she and Peter share some wonderful moments, including an intimate snapshot between the two of them in a desolate cornfield–during which Kelsey comments on how incredible it is for them to be alone together–which was filmed by two different hidden cameras and (possibly) one drone.
Up next is Madison’s hometown date at Auburn University. Although Madison talks a lot about her virginity, she doesn’t wear a purity ring, which makes me think she wasn’t a fan of the Jonas Brothers. It quickly becomes very clear that this was because she was busy obsessing over High School Musical (like me) because she puts Peter in a basketball uniform and makes him look exactly like Troy Bolton. This pilot is truly “soarin…flyin.” When Peter meets Madison’s family, her dad expresses his unshakable disapproval of Peter to anyone who will listen. Great first day with the in-laws. Regardless, Peter confesses to Madison that he’s falling head over heels for her, and you can see in Madison’s eyes that she knows this is going to end terribly.
In the last 45 minutes of the episode, we dive deep into the All American thriller, “Peter the Pilot and the Curious Case of Why He’s Keeping Victoria F. Around.” While the couple initially enjoys another day together at a country music concert, their evening is completely destroyed when Peter’s ex appears. Her name is Merissa and they blur out her face, so we’re going to call her Blurissa. Blurissa warns Peter about Victoria’s shady past, and even goes far enough to say, “you should know what you’re on a date with.” Peter confronts Victoria and they engage in a fight that will undoubtedly be shown in hundreds of intro to psychology courses throughout the nation.
Blurissa, our hero, engages in a dramatic dialogue with Peter.
At the final rose ceremony, Peter shockingly keeps Victoria F. around eliminates Kelsey. My fan theory is that this has literally nothing to do with Victoria F. and the producers just wanted to get Kelsey off of the show as soon as possible so she’d have some time to get over Peter and start prepping for her spot as The Bachelorette. Unless Blurissa swoops in and takes her spot. But we’ll find out what happens with that in a few weeks. For now, we’re focused to see what happens at the end of this week’s cliff hanger when Madison dramatically approaches Peter and says she needs to talk to him. Will she be able to stay with Peter and Stick To The Status Quo? Or will she be Breaking Free from him for good? And, most importantly, will Blurissa return for an end-of-the-season comeback? (I hope so.)
Check out the best memes from this week’s episode!
The Best ‘The Bachelor’ Memes and Tweets From This Week’s Hometowns
Update 3/31/2020
ABC will not be moving forward with Olympics-themed spinoff “Summer Games,” Variety reported.
The competition was set to parallel the Summer Olympics in Tokyo this July, which was also canceled as a result of the global coronavirus pandemic. The sporting event was moved to next year, though, it’s unclear if the Bachelor franchise will air the series next year.
2/19/2020: The Bachelor is headed to the Olympics… well, their version of it anyway.
There doesn’t seem to be a cap on Bachelor franchise spinoffs because why would there be? We’re going to watch all of them anyway!
Just yesterday, the promo for The Bachelor: Listen To Your Heart, a musical spinoff, dropped its first promo, but here we are today talking about an Olympics-themed spinoff.
Following the success of The Bachelor Winter Games, ABC is bringing you the Summer Olympics, a summer version of the athletic spinoff playing off of the fact that the Olympics are happening this July in Tokyo.
The show will essentially feature contestants competing in Olympic-styled sports events, which will just be pure joy, and likely getting involved in drama and hooking up on the side.
“[Summer Games] will be its own thing and it’ll run — it’ll be Bachelorette Summer Games,” ABC’s Senior Vice President of Alternative Programming Rob Mills said on The Ringer’s Bachelor Party podcast on Tuesday.
“What’s nice about Summer Games, is when we did Winter Games, Bachelor was still airing, so it was a lot . . . This is Summer Games, and then Paradise will start . . . There is going to be both,” he explained.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8sOa0YgOxZ/
“I think it’s going to be really fun,” he added. “We found a really great place to hold it. I mean, it’s going to be so fun seeing these people in these great, you know, track and field, and swimming. This is a real Olympics. To me, this is the real Olympics.”
“I still think we need to look at the creative, and it’s like, do you — if somebody is with somebody or not, can they be in it?” he said. “‘Cause there’s certain people that you’d love to see — I mean, I’d love to see Jordan [Rodgers] or Colton [Underwood].”
All of this basically translates to us living, breathing, and sleeping Bachelor content!
No premiere date has been set for Summer Games yet, but Listen to Your Heart arrives in April!
Coffee Table News
Are ‘The Bachelor’s’ Peter Weber and Kelley Dating? They Were Spotted Cozying Up in Chicago
Clearly, Peter Weber did not get the memo about social distancing.
Peter’s season of The Bachelor may be over — and spoiler: he didn’t end up with any of the women — but he seems to have found love with one of the contestants he sent home, Kelley Flanagan.
The pilot and the lawyer were seen cozying up in her hometown of Chicago on Wednesday afternoon.
The duo was spotted hitting the riverwalk and cuddling up. At one point, Peter even picked Kelley up over his head, which isn’t surprising because all the girls loved to jump on Peter when they greeted him this season.
TMZ reports that Peter was very handsy with Kelley.
All of this might have been cuter if not for the fact that Chicago is currently under a “stay at home” order to combat the coronavirus pandemic.
The whole idea is that people are supposed to be staying at home and not congregating in public meeting spaces like parks, riverwalks, beaches, etc. Chicagoans have been ignoring the government order, which is enforced by law, so the Mayor was forced to impose fines of $500 smackaroos for anyone caught purposefully breaking the rule. She also said she would shut down parks and the entire lakefront.
If Kelley is giving Peter a second chance, if they’re soulmates, if they’ve figured it all out, it’s all great, just please stay indoors and stay away from other people!
I’m sure they can find something productive to do.
And if you gotta walk the pooch, make your walk quick and 6-feet away from other people.
‘The Bachelorette’s’ Mike Johnson Reveals If He’d Ever Become ‘The Bachelor’
We’re not kidding, it lasted like a total of two days.
Just days after that dramatic The Bachelor finale which found Peter Weber and Madison Prewett vowing to give their love a chance despite plenty of objections (both vocal and through facial expressions from our girl Barb), the couple has called it quits. Done. Duzno.
Peter broke the news on Instagram thanking both Madi and ex-fiancee Hannah Ann.
Madi, thank you for your patience and unconditional love. You’re the epitome of a woman who carries herself with grace, stands by what she believes in, and loves whole heartedly. That love is something I feel so grateful to have felt and will take a piece of that with me always going forward. Madi and I have mutually decided to not pursue our relationship any further. Believe me this was not easy for either of us to be ok with, but after a lot of honest conversations, we have agreed that this is what makes most sense for the two of us. The love and respect I have for Madi will continue to endure.
Hannah Ann, you set an example for women everywhere a couple nights ago. You are such a strong, confident woman and you deserve all the love in the world. I accept full responsibility for my mistakes in our relationship and wish you only the best. This has been an emotional experience and I am so grateful for the outreach of support that I have received from friends, family, and Bachelor Nation in the last few days. Thank you to all of you! This is just a another chapter in my story.
Since then, he’s gone back to hanging out with his mom while Madi, who also posted about the break-up, has found solace playing board games with Selena Gomez.
All’s well in the world.
Naturally, Twitter had some commentary.
The faces you make when you find out that the couple you were rooting for really fricken hard on the bachelor, PETER AND MADI breakup 2 DAYS after the LIVE FINALE. Honestly I fucking quit. I’m done with this shit #TheBachelor #pilotpete #MadisonPrewett #iquit pic.twitter.com/NcBQHh6R1J
— sydneykong (@sydney_kong) March 13, 2020
#bachelor #pilotpete #BachelorNation
How I feel about the Breakup: pic.twitter.com/0KZazhOW5H— themaryelizabethlife (@themaryelizabe1) March 13, 2020
The fact #HurricaneBarb posted this the same time @madiprew and #PilotPete announced their breakup is the true meaning of #SAVAGE #TheBachelor #TheBachelorFinale #BachelorNation pic.twitter.com/X74ArmXudR
— Bachelor Padcast (@BachelorPadcast) March 13, 2020
https://twitter.com/FlamingoMacK/status/1238847146541158407?s=20
So peter proposed to Hannah Ann then broke it off because he was still in love with Madison. Then him and Madison say they are gonna try a relationship. Then two days later they break up and Peter ends up with no one. I still think barb may have had something to do with this.
— Oliviana (@olumettaa) March 14, 2020
Me: Grandma, did you see the news about Peter and Madison's break-up?
Grandma: I didn't even have to look at the news to know about that.
Post-#TheBachelor finale and the commentary from Grandma is still 🔥🔥🔥
— Surprisingly Articulate (@most_articulate) March 14, 2020
Oh, and for those of you who think Barb played a role in the breakup, Peter assures that she did not.
On his way to the gym on Friday, Weber refuted the comments saying, “This is stuff between Madi and I solely 100 percent. People have their opinions but it should just be two of us and it’s just mutual respect and love,” according to Page Six.
That’s that Bachelor Nation.
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