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The Bachelor Week 9: Women Tell All [Of Us That We Need To Get A Life]

The Bachelor / ABC

Published

4 years ago

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In this week’s “Women Tell All” reunion episode, our host Chris Harrison makes his first notable appearance on the show, checks in with the former contestants from the season, and presumably has a private existential crisis. He kicks off the episode by introducing the twenty or so women who were “featured” on the show this season. I, for one, watched every single episode and think I genuinely recognized five people. You can tell the live studio audience is in the same predicament as they uncomfortably clap for the bachelorettes one-by-one like a group of middle schoolers being encouraged to participate in a “don’t do drugs” assembly.

 

We then see a clip of the rose ceremony with Peter’s final three bachelorettes. The sequence begins with the bachelorettes doing their makeup and talking about how much they love Peter, feeling very much like an extended YouTube ad for Neutrogena. We then see Peter waiting outside for the bachelorettes to arrive at the rose ceremony, where he confides in Chris Harrison that this process has been “so frickin hard.” Yes, Peter may be the 24th Bachelor, but with this comment, I think he really takes the crown as our very first boy-chelor.

 

At the top of the rose ceremony, Hannah Ann and Victoria arrive, but we quickly realize that Madison is missing–most likely because of her brutal confrontation with Peter at their last date. When Peter realizes that Madison may not show up and he has possibly lost the love of his life, we see dozens of shots of him holding back tears (some of which have become memes). 

 

Suddenly, our favorite dramatic orchestral music begins to play and we know something big is about to happen. (Whether that thing is a progression of the plot or a bootleg production of Les Miserables is TBD). We see some intense shots of Chris Harrison looking out for something in the distance like a dad at a golf course who is trying to convince himself that he just made a great shot. Then, Madison finally enters the scene, and Peter starts sobbing his eyes out. At this moment, The Bachelor finally becomes the soap opera we have all been yearning for, and I’m not talking about those vegan soaps that the runner-ups will be promoting on their Instagrams three weeks from now.

 

We then enter a two and a half minute sequence with absolutely no dialogue–just some extremely dramatic music accompanying various shots of Peter, the bachelorettes, Chris Harrison, the rose, the sky, etc. The whole thing feels like an extended version of the theme to the Krusty Krab Training Video. In the end, Peter gives his roses to Hannah Ann and Madison (who accepts the rose with extreme reluctance). We get the feeling that Victoria is going to be just fine, but the rest of the contestants (including Peter) are definitely at the peak of their emotional vulnerability–leaving tons of promise for next week’s intense season finale. 

 

The episode then goes back to the “Women Tell All” segment of the evening. Honestly, the real stars of this portion of the show aren’t even the former contestants–it’s the audience members. The “Women Tell All” night of The Bachelor is really for watching fans of the show get featured on television by standing out from the crowd with overly intense forced commentary, boisterous early 2000s American Idol Paula Abdul-esque clapping, and themed group outfits. There were dozens of fans wearing pilot and flight attendant uniforms, but my personal favorite was the group of women who showed up with matching cowgirl Halloween costumes in reference to the rodeo-themed date from the third episode. There was also a random group of uninterested frat bros there for some reason. At one point, Chris Harrison asks the audience members if they have ever attended a watching party for The Bachelor, and the entire group slowly raises their hands with shame and embarrassment like the girls in Mean Girls when Tina Fey asks them if they have ever talked about a girl behind their back.

 

When the focus is drawn to provoking fights between the former contestants, the bachelorettes mostly just talk over each other and break out into several smaller fights at the same time. They somehow tend to do so with an impressive amount of coherency, sounding very much like an a capella group doing a pop cover of the sound of a fork stuck in a garbage disposal. During one particular confrontation, we see a shot of Chris Harrison sitting in his chair, seemingly nodding in agreement, but his nods don’t line up with the timing of anything that the women are saying, so you can tell that during one of the commercial breaks the producers just asked Chris to sit and nod paternally for several seconds. 

 

The episode also spends a good amount of time plugging The Bachelor’s upcoming spin-off series, Listen To Your Heart, where several musicians sing duets together and hope to fall in love with their singing partner. I wish Disney Plus would have had this idea first and called it “High School Musical for Adults.” We also end the night with a series of “bloopers” (shots of people dropping things) and a segment of Peter the Pilot crashing several Bachelor watching parties that had a higher budget than my high school prom. 

 

This week’s episode of The Bachelor gives us lots of awkward Chris Harrison moments, an incredible appearance from one of our previous Bachelorettes, Rachel, and an extremely satisfying glimpse into what is in store for our season finale. Check out the best memes from this episode here!

 

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The Bachelor

Best Tweets From the Season 27 Finale of ‘The Bachelor’

Published

8 months ago

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March 27, 2023

By

The Bachelor wrapped up its 27th season, bringing an end to Zach Shallcross’ journey of love. 

Throughout the finale, fans had a lot of thoughts, which they shared on Twitter without any hesitation. And with no audio, ABC truly demands a whole lot from its dedicated viewers.

Here are some of the best tweets and memes from The Bachelor Season 27 finale and After the Final Rose.

 

After all of that, Zach walked away an engaged man, proposing to Kaity Biggar, a 28-year-old nurse from Canada. 

In conclusion, it’s probably safe to say that Zach has now earned the title as the most hated Bachelor lead ever—what a season, and what a way to go out. 

If you’re looking for your next dose of drama, ABC recently announced the upcoming season of The Bachelorette starring Charity will premiere on Monday, June 26, 2023, at 9:00-11:00 p.m as part of the summer lineup, so we’ll see you there for all the drama. 

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Coffee Table News

Chris Harrison Leaving ‘The Bachelor’ Franchise After 19 Years

Published

2 years ago

on

June 8, 2021

By

Here's Who Is Replacing Chris Harrison for 'The Bachelorette' Next Season

After hosting The Bachelor for nearly 20 years, Chris Harrison is leaving the show.

His exit follows the February controversy in which he defended Season 25 contestant Rachel Kirkconnell after photos of her at an Antebellum party in 2018 surfaced. At the time, he defended Kirkconnell’s actions stating that they only looked bad through a 2021 lens.

He since apologized publicly on Twitter stating he promised to do better and took a hiatus from hosting in which he became “educated on a more profound and productive level than ever before.”

However, Variety reports that despite Harrison’s desire to stay on the show, the incident’s escalation pushed Harrison’s lawyers to devise an exit strategy. A settlement was reached with Warner Horizon along the lines of eight figures.

With the hiatus becoming permanent, Warner Horizon and ABC issued a joint statement: “We are thankful for his many contributions over the past 20 years and wish him all the best on his new journey.”

While there has been no permanent replacement for the host of the franchise, the current Season 17 of The Bachelorette is being hosted by previous contestants Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe. And this summer’s Bachelor in Paradise will be hosted by David Spade, among a rotation of other celebrities.

Harrison took to Instagram to express his gratitude and confirm his exit: “I’ve had a truly incredible run as host of The Bachelor franchise and now I’m excited to start a new chapter. I’m so grateful to Bachelor Nation for all of the memories we’ve made together. While my two-decade journey is wrapping up, the friendships I’ve made will last a lifetime.”

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The Bachelor

Who Won Matt James’ Heart on the Season Finale of ‘The Bachelor’?

Published

3 years ago

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March 15, 2021

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Who Won Matt James' Heart on the Season Finale of 'The Bachelor'?

For a franchise that loves to hype up each season as the “most dramatic yet,” Matt James’ season of The Bachelor really outdid itself with real-world drama surrounding Rachael Kirkconnell’s racial controversy, Chris Harrison’s downfall, and the bullying between the women in the house. 

In the season finale, Matt James expressed some doubts about his final two women: Rachael and Michelle Young. 

Best Tweets from Tonight’s ‘The Bachelor’ Finale and ‘After the Rose’

After Michelle gave him a jersey with his name on it (and a matching one for herself that read “Mrs. James), Matt decided it was the perfect time to break her heart. He explained that he didn’t feel the same way about her as she did for him. 

“I just want clarity,” Michelle said about his feelings, to which he responded: “I don’t think I could get there with you.”

And thus… that left us with one woman standing: Rachael. 

But does she get the final rose?

Matt still had doubts because he took what his mother said about love not being enough to sustain a relationship. He took that into consideration and questioned whether or not he was “there.” He realized he wasn’t sure that was ready to make a big decision or commitment like marriage regardless of the woman. 

“What do I tell Rachael,” he questioned, adding, “Rushing into something I’m not ready for is… I’m not willing to make the same mistake my dad did.”

Harrison then informed Rachael that there wouldn’t be a date that evening because Matt was confused and needed some time. Naturally, she took it personally and broke down crying. 

After some time to think it over, Matt revealed that he’s never felt this way before and that he knew he loved Rachael. 

During their last meeting, Rachael poured her heart out and said she’d choose him everyday from here on out, through the good and bad. 

Matt said that he saw what rushing a marriage did to his mom and his family and explained it’s not something he wants for them. “That’s why I can’t propose to you today,” he said, adding, “but that doesn’t mean I want to lose you.”

He explained that he wants to live his life with Rachael and wants to commit to her and build on what they started during their Bachelor journey.

“I’m in love you, and I see you as my wife and the mother of my kids,” he said. 

So, while there’s no proposal, there is a future for Rachael and Matt… that is until those photos from the antebellum photos surfaced. All of that will be addressed during the “After the Rose” ceremony hosted by Emmanuel Acho. 

During the “After the Rose” post-show, Matt revealed that his relationship with Rachael did not overcome the controversy.

“I’m really sorry that I hurt you,” Rachael told him in their first post-breakup meeting. Despite her apologies, Matt said he couldn’t get back together as she still had a lot to do. And though it was painful, the duo went their separate ways.

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