Bromance no more. This week we saw what happens when your best friend accidentally kills the love of your life, 50 years prior to you finding out. And lets just say, it isn’t pretty. It also involves some 60’s flashbacks, which we need more of!

A lot happened on this weeks The Vampire Diaries which is why it’s so upsetting to say that we’ve barely touched the tip of the iceberg. We haven’t even delved into the shit that we’re going to have to endure during the season finale, and I for one and already super confused. Let’s dig in shall we?

The majority of this week’s events surrounded Enzo, who finally found out what happened to his beloved Maggie. Unfortunately for him, he would never have the opportunity to thank her because she died in 1960. And Enzo totally knows who killed her; Stefan. Except there’s just one problem. Stefan doesn’t remember killing her, all of his journals have been burned and he wasn’t the ripper in 1960. None of that matters to Enzo though, whose so riled up he just needs Stefan to confess for his own sanity.  (Just a side note: why is Enzo so convinced Stefan killed her? What evidence does he have that proves his hypothesis? Yeah, I’m going science on this one.)

A lot is at stake here. First off, Elena and Stefan are both tied up at Enzo’s mercy. And it seems that if anyone where to die in Enzo’s vengeance, it would be Elena. Second off, he has a powerful witch casting his spells, un-willingly, but he’s got her brother so she’s kind of at his mercy as well. Damon gets wind of his best friends activities and begins digging into the night Maggie got murdered discovering that Stefan actually didn’t kill Maggie.. he did. Dun. Dun. Dun. I’d love to pretend that I didn’t see that coming, but I totally did. Shock value= zero! He makes his appearance just in time, confessing to Maggie’s murder. Cue flashback to the 1960’s, the night of the JFK elections and Damon’s rocking nice slicked back hair. Maggie had come looking for him, trying to kill him and seek revenge for the fire. When she pulled out a needle, she stood no chance against humanity-less Damon.. He ripped her head right off of her body like a Barbie doll. Props to the writers/producers for the gruesome scene. Damon was getting a little soft on us there for a sec. Enzo is so upset at this revelation, mainly because he doesn’t want to kill/ be mad at this best friend. So he does what any other rational vampire being mourning the loss of his ex-girlfriend from fifty years prior would do— he turns off his humanity. No humanity means its easier for him to kill Damon, or to kill the person he loves.. Elena. (Can I just add that Elena really needs to catch a break. She’s always involved in the messiest stuff because of the Salvatore brothers. She’s the doppleganger, people think she’s Katherine, she’s used as bait cause everyone loves her. God I wish there was on episode where Elena wasn’t being kidnapped, tortured, stolen, etc.)

Stefan stays behind to heal Liv (collateral damage in Enzo’s plan) while Damon goes to find Elena and calm Enzo down. Somehow, Stefan finds Enzo first, but not before Enzo snaps Elena’s neck. Props to her for actually trying to fight her way out of that one. When Damon finally makes it, he finds Elena and leave Stefan to deal with Enzo while he takes Elena to safety, a.k.a her super safe dorm room. In the meantime, Stefan causes a whole world of problems with Enzo, who basically helps Stefan rip his heart out before saying, “have fun explaining that to your brother,” and dying. Alright, my initial thought here was ‘goddamnit, NOOO. Not Enzo.’ Than I thought about how much pain holding onto your loved one has caused all these folks in Mystic Falls. Pining over someone who died years and years ago. Wouldn’t it be just easier to let it go? I guess not. Stefan obviously feels horrible about killing his brothers only friend and makes everyone promise that they won’t tell Damon the truth. Everyone’s just supposed to pretend that Enzo left to Cape Harbor or something, as if Damon won’t actually find out the truth. In all honesty, I understand Stefan wants to spare his brother the pain, but Damon did kill his best friend Lexi. This is like payback right????

Meanwhile, the witches were bonding and talking about the otherside. As we know from last weeks encounters, things aren’t too good on the other side. And it seems like their about to get even worse. According to Liv, all spells come undone and theres no way on saving the anchor spell. It’s time to face the facts. The otherside is crumbling towards destruction and with the otherside goes Bonnie, our favorite little witch. Liv thinks that Jeremy deserves to know the truth about Bonnie’s limited time left. When Bonnie goes to tell him, she sees the sadness and worry in his eyes and figures she’d rather not. And just than, she sees Enzo passing through her and he tells her he’s not finished yet. What does that even mean? Well, it means just what he said.

Back at home, Stefan tells Damon that Enzo left and that he should just let it go, but Damon isn’t having any of it. He explains to his brother how Enzo was the one thing that helped him get through his tough times. How whenever Damon would try to blame Stefan for not finding him during his time in captivity, Enzo would remind him that’s all he had left. From the way Damon talks about Enzo, it seems like he was once a really great guy. Key word, once. While Damon and Stefan are having a heart to heart, Enzo shows up in ghost form and basically warns Damon that his wrath is only just beginning. Well, how is Enzo still on this side, when he crossed over? Good question. Either this is the mess of the otherside crumbling or Enzo made yet another deal with the travelers and that’s why he was so eager to die at the hands of Stefan.

And the other big story this week is the travelers and their sacrificial rituals. Tyler is being held captive in the travelers new hide out and they finally have everything they need. A hybrid, their test subject and the blood of the dopplegangers. According to Markos, vampirism originated from witches. In the prophecy it states that blood of the final two dopplegangers will undo witches magic. So basically, Sloane has volunteered to be the test subject. She drinks some of Tyler’s blood and dies. When she wakes, she’s in transition. Markos gives her Elena and Stefan’s blood, and she awakens back as a human. No more vampire, no more hybrid, just human. A human that dies right away after being returned to her original state. This means that the travelers now have their cure, but they need a lot more blood. The cure will allow them to stay in Mystic Falls without getting mass murdered by the witches, who will not have power over them. But is that all they really want? All this so that everyone can stay in one town? Seems a little excessive. And what do they have against vampires? Are they just glad to know that the cure is able to kill anyone who isn’t willing to co-operate with their plan? I’m rather confused on this whole storyline…. Please, someone tell me what am I missing? (Sidenote: when Markos said a hybrid can’t hold down a traveler like a normal person, how much do you think that Tyler will free himself of the traveler the minute he needs to warn everyone? Yep!)

Other Thoughts

– I don’t know if Elena without a Salvatore boyfriend is the best kind of Elena. I feel like she needs to be with Damon and they need to be happy already. She’s too involved with them both at this point not to actually be in love with one. Plus, if she were to get a new love interest, we’d see both boys pining over her moving on and I def don’t want to see that.

-The whole damsel in distress thing is also getting old. Like seriously, as I said in my post, can there be a day where Elena’s life isn’t in danger?? Even her face was like, “wtf seriously. Again?”

– I’m upset that Enzo and Damon’s friendship came to an end. And not just because Enzo died but because he’s still “alive” but he wants revenge on Damon. Gah! Not cool.

– In this episode Enzo kind of reminded me of Klaus…. except he can never be Klaus, so it was a pretty lame attempt. We don’t need another Klaus. We needed Enzo to stay Enzo!

– Hey Caroline, thanks for picking up your phone this week while everyone was in deep trouble.

– I think Sheriff Forbes makes more cameos than Matt and Caroline combined.

– Also, I like how the only time we see Matt is when he’s being made fun of and told to stay in the house by Damon. What is your purpose human?

– Can’t say I’ll be sad to see Bonnie go. Over the seasons she’s just become really useless. I mean, she can’t even do magic anymore.

– Why do I feel like all these characters have gotten really pointless? I hate that I feel this way but I swear, maybe Julie Plec needs to send them all on a vacation. And by vacation I mean to Punta Cana, not Atlanta on a road trip.

– I have to admit I would like to do some drinking therapy with Enzo and Damon though. I feel like it would be very cleansing for my soul.